What my rational mind tells me corresponds to Zen Buddhism concepts:
Quote:“It’s a realization that dualities are ultimately false—there is no such thing as an objective ‘right’ or ‘wrong,’ but these concepts, in fact, exist in total reliance on each other, and therefore their opposition is an illusion covering up their inherent co-dependence,” he says. “It’s a paradox that is at the heart of Zen: life is both meaningful and meaningless. Black and White are opposites but also the same. Masculinity means nothing without a feminine contrast, but neither have any kind of objective meaning separate from the other—and since defining masculinity and femininity is so god-damn difficult, and I’d say impossible, gender dissolves at the exact same rate at which we attempt to grasp it.”
Interesting article, that looks at the TG issues from a bit different perspective, but clearly biased (look at the amount of Shrooms ads 😁 ):
https://doubleblindmag.com/psychedelics-transgender/
BTW, Canada (Vancouver) again 😊
Ok, so i'm struggling 😟 I tried to quit (for about a week) but I realize that you cant just throw out your identity like your female clothes (which i strongly regret a week later). Simply put, I don't think I am nor can I ever force myself to be a (straight) guy or even a feminine male. I tried so hard, but I kept being drawn back into femininity. At first it I thought I was mistaking it for attraction, but actually I am just jealous. I really hate that I was born and stuck as XY and not XX. I think this personal gender experiment is over and I have to accept that i'm just "one of the girls" from now.
(22 Nov 2020, 00:14 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]Ok, so i'm struggling 😟 I tried to quit (for about a week) but I realize that you cant just throw out your identity like your female clothes (which i strongly regret a week later). Simply put, I don't think I am nor can I ever force myself to be a (straight) guy or even a feminine male. I tried so hard, but I kept being drawn back into femininity. At first it I thought I was mistaking it for attraction, but actually I am just jealous. I really hate that I was born and stuck as XY and not XX. I think this personal gender experiment is over and I have to accept that i'm just "one of the girls" from now.
Have you considered being androgynous, non binary option?
(22 Nov 2020, 00:43 )egregious Wrote: [ -> ] (22 Nov 2020, 00:14 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]Ok, so i'm struggling 😟 I tried to quit (for about a week) but I realize that you cant just throw out your identity like your female clothes (which i strongly regret a week later). Simply put, I don't think I am nor can I ever force myself to be a (straight) guy or even a feminine male. I tried so hard, but I kept being drawn back into femininity. At first it I thought I was mistaking it for attraction, but actually I am just jealous. I really hate that I was born and stuck as XY and not XX. I think this personal gender experiment is over and I have to accept that i'm just "one of the girls" from now.
Have you considered being androgynous, non binary option?
Hi egregious, yes I have a long time ago, but only for a few seconds and then I rejected that thought right away because I definitely have a strong female presence/preference. I am not interested in continuing to be male nor do I feel androgynous in any way. So my problem is not that I don't know who I am, my problem is that I feel I am was born wrong gender/sex. That is my ultimate frustration, that I have this female identity and feminine desires but I can't do anything about it and even if I could eventually (past my youth years) I would have missed out on alot of womanhood that other biological women were lucky to have. Furthermore, being trans, i will always feel like an imposter because, well to be female=to be of female sex, and i will always be lacking because my body is male from genetics all the way up to my phenotypes. Hence my sort of envy of biological women. But it is what is 😟
(22 Nov 2020, 02:25 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]That is my ultimate frustration, that I have this female identity and feminine desires but I can't do anything about it and even if I could eventually (past my youth years) I would have missed out on alot of womanhood that other biological women were lucky to have. Furthermore, being trans, i will always feel like an imposter because, well to be female=to be of female sex, and i will always be lacking because my body is male from genetics all the way up to my phenotypes. Hence my sort of envy of biological women. But it is what is ![[Image: sad.gif]](https://www.likera.com/forum/mybb/images/smilies/sad.gif)
I think it's fairly common for gender non-conformists to feel that way to a degree. I remember that feeling bothering me more when I was younger but it doesn't bother me now at all. I don't know how old you are but I'm 40 and I actively started trying to transition at 23, so that's when those feelings of jealousy peaked in me. If you're anything like me, once you start transitioning, you will find your place and that jealousy won't bother you quite as much the further you go. There's so much support and sensitivity for us these days that I'm sure you won't have any problems at all when you make the decision to live how you want. You just need to accept yourself and move forward how you want to, not how family and friends want you to. I wish you luck on your journey.
But from what I remember reading essanym, is that you stopped transitioning, so how and why did those feelings get resolved for you?
Also, I do accept myself, but at the same time its very important to me that I get accepted by others too. Its hard enough when most days you doubt who you are because your mirror shows you an image that is inconsistent with how you feel inside; but those feelings get exponentially magnified when every person you meet treats you like a guy, because unfortunately that's all they see with their eyes.
So "passing" is very important to me. And so I would like to ask if you were ever able to pass successfully and be accepted by society?
(22 Nov 2020, 20:54 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]So "passing" is very important to me.
Yep. Aesthetics, harmony, balance, naturallity, absence of awkwardness, absence of the necessity to excuse someone's behaviour... Yes, passing is very important for full self- and social acceptance. And we are back to the statement, that "gender is between the ears".
(22 Nov 2020, 21:04 )Like Ra Wrote: [ -> ] (22 Nov 2020, 20:54 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]So "passing" is very important to me.
Yep. Aesthetics, harmony, balance, naturallity, absence of awkwardness, absence of the necessity to excuse someone's behaviour... Yes, passing is very important for full self- and social acceptance. And we are back to the statement, that "gender is between the ears".
Well where else would it be? Isn't the brain the only organ that can be conscious of those feelings? I mean gender can't be found in my arm, right?