General TG, TS, TV and sex change thread

[Like Ra]

The story of Lynn Conway (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynn_Conway)

Lynn Conway's Retrospective
Copyright @ 1999-2003, Lynn Conway.
All Rights Reserved

https://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/...tiveT.html

[Hazel]

Ok, so i'm struggling 😟 I tried to quit (for about a week) but I realize that you cant just throw out your identity like your female clothes (which i strongly regret a week later). Simply put, I don't think I am nor can I ever force myself to be a (straight) guy or even a feminine male. I tried so hard, but I kept being drawn back into femininity. At first it I thought I was mistaking it for attraction, but actually I am just jealous. I really hate that I was born and stuck as XY and not XX. I think this personal gender experiment is over and I have to accept that i'm just "one of the girls" from now.

[egregious]

Ok, so i'm struggling 😟 I tried to quit (for about a week) but I realize that you cant just throw out your identity like your female clothes (which i strongly regret a week later). Simply put, I don't think I am nor can I ever force myself to be a (straight) guy or even a feminine male. I tried so hard, but I kept being drawn back into femininity. At first it I thought I was mistaking it for attraction, but actually I am just jealous. I really hate that I was born and stuck as XY and not XX. I think this personal gender experiment is over and I have to accept that i'm just "one of the girls" from now.

Have you considered being androgynous, non binary option?

[Hazel]

Ok, so i'm struggling 😟 I tried to quit (for about a week) but I realize that you cant just throw out your identity like your female clothes (which i strongly regret a week later). Simply put, I don't think I am nor can I ever force myself to be a (straight) guy or even a feminine male. I tried so hard, but I kept being drawn back into femininity. At first it I thought I was mistaking it for attraction, but actually I am just jealous. I really hate that I was born and stuck as XY and not XX. I think this personal gender experiment is over and I have to accept that i'm just "one of the girls" from now.

Have you considered being androgynous, non binary option?

Hi egregious, yes I have a long time ago, but only for a few seconds and then I rejected that thought right away because I definitely have a strong female presence/preference. I am not interested in continuing to be male nor do I feel androgynous in any way. So my problem is not that I don't know who I am, my problem is that I feel I am was born wrong gender/sex. That is my ultimate frustration, that I have this female identity and feminine desires but I can't do anything about it and even if I could eventually (past my youth years) I would have missed out on alot of womanhood that other biological women were lucky to have. Furthermore, being trans, i will always feel like an imposter because, well to be female=to be of female sex, and i will always be lacking because my body is male from genetics all the way up to my phenotypes. Hence my sort of envy of biological women. But it is what is 😟

[Like Ra]

Hey, welcome back!

[essanym]

That is my ultimate frustration, that I have this female identity and feminine desires but I can't do anything about it and even if I could eventually (past my youth years) I would have missed out on alot of womanhood that other biological women were lucky to have. Furthermore, being trans, i will always feel like an imposter because, well to be female=to be of female sex, and i will always be lacking because my body is male from genetics all the way up to my phenotypes. Hence my sort of envy of biological women. But it is what is

I think it's fairly common for gender non-conformists to feel that way to a degree.  I remember that feeling bothering me more when I was younger but it doesn't bother me now at all.  I don't know how old you are but I'm 40 and I actively started trying to transition at 23, so that's when those feelings of jealousy peaked in me.  If you're anything like me, once you start transitioning, you will find your place and that jealousy won't bother you quite as much the further you go.  There's so much support and sensitivity for us these days that I'm sure you won't have any problems at all when you make the decision to live how you want.  You just need to accept yourself and move forward how you want to, not how family and friends want you to.  I wish you luck on your journey.

[Hazel]

But from what I remember reading essanym, is that you stopped transitioning, so how and why did those feelings get resolved for you?

Also, I do accept myself, but at the same time its very important to me that I get accepted by others too. Its hard enough when most days you doubt who you are because your mirror shows you an image that is inconsistent with how you feel inside; but those feelings get exponentially magnified when every person you meet treats you like a guy, because unfortunately that's all they see with their eyes.

So "passing" is very important to me. And so I would like to ask if you were ever able to pass successfully and be accepted by society?

[Like Ra]

So "passing" is very important to me.

Yep. Aesthetics, harmony, balance, naturallity, absence of awkwardness, absence of the necessity to excuse someone's behaviour... Yes, passing is very important for full self- and social acceptance. And we are back to the statement, that "gender is between the ears".

[Hazel]

So "passing" is very important to me.

Yep. Aesthetics, harmony, balance, naturallity, absence of awkwardness, absence of the necessity to excuse someone's behaviour... Yes, passing is very important for full self- and social acceptance. And we are back to the statement, that "gender is between the ears".

Well where else would it be? Isn't the brain the only organ that can be conscious of those feelings? I mean gender can't be found in my arm, right?

[Like Ra]

I mean gender can't be found in my arm, right?

Even the brain is not "you", it's "yours", but not "you" (see Sadhguru's channel 😁 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcYzLCs...VHYA1sK2sw )