I’m going to chime in here, but may not the right thread.
Hypnosis or Hypno, doesn’t do squat for me.
Way back in High school, I started getting these female urges. I just love going shopping with my mom, all the clothing stores, shoe stores and jewelry stores.
I kept asking mom if we can get a sister. Mom, of course, said that two boys are enough.
I’m 66 now and I still think of me as a female, trapped inside a male body or package.
(11 Dec 2020, 22:56 )Tinker D Wrote: [ -> ]I’m going to chime in here, but may not the right thread.
Hypnosis or Hypno, doesn’t do squat for me.
Way back in High school, I started getting these female urges. I just love going shopping with my mom, all the clothing stores, shoe stores and jewelry stores.
I kept asking mom if we can get a sister. Mom, of course, said that two boys are enough.
I’m 66 now and I still think of me as a female, trapped inside a male body or package.
Ok, so let's say I take a leap of faith and accept that how I feel is genuine and like you, I am a woman trapped in a male body. Now my next problem is what can I even do about it? You see, no matter how much I disagree with Like Ra, there is one thing he said that I have no choice but to accept and that is that HRT is not a magical pill to make you female.
There is this new girl at where I work who is 2 years younger than me (she's 21), and I have to say that she is absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Everything about her screams femininity, while everything about me is the complete opposite. I know that even with HRT I will never end up even close to looking like her and people won't ever see me or acknowledge me like her anyways. So what's the point of even trying? Like Like Ra said before, what's the point of transitioning if you won't pass?
In my mind I have a certain image or standard of which I would want to embody as a female, but if real life keeps showing me square in the face that it's impossible then why even try? Why go through transition and make yourself more miserable if you end up an ugly mess?
It's too late for me and I have to accept that, but my issue is that I can't accept that 😔
(11 Dec 2020, 21:15 )no smile Wrote: [ -> ]- or in opposite, be trans and feeling therefore confortable under hypnosis and using it as a way of feeling more "at home".
That's more how I feel actually. Thanks for that no smile!
Also I haven't listened to feminization hypnosis for over a week a
eady and I still feel the same, but with a nagging background feeling that I should do something about. I guess to me, hypnosis is "doing something" to help my dysphoria.
(12 Dec 2020, 06:57 )MindsEye Wrote: [ -> ] (12 Dec 2020, 06:03 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ] (11 Dec 2020, 19:09 )MindsEye Wrote: [ -> ]I know I'm not the one you asked, but I believe that if you are looking for something in hypnosis then you probably aeady are/want that thing. If you look up force crossdress hypno, then you probably aeady want to do that. Gay hypno, you probably aeady are. Feminization hypno, you probably aeady want to be feminized.
But if I am aeady female why would I need the hypnosis 🤔
Anyways, in my mind I rationalize it as being the only thing I can do in my situation to experience and escape into femininty.
Yes it's an escapism mechanism, also it can be a way for some to have a scapegoat so they can say "It was the files that made me this way"
Hmm...can you clarify, not really sure what you mean.
Just to add, when I say "escape", I don't necessarily mean as a drug addiction, I meant it more in the sense that its the only way I can secretly escape the male facade i put on all the time to be "normal" in the eyes of my family and other people. Nor do I wish the files to force me into feminization against my will and use that as an excuse. I seek them out because they magnify my feminine feelings through bringing them to the surface and help me to accept and believe in the part of myself that I keep hidden and always have to repress in my mind.
I meant escapism the way you mean it. You were saying earlier that you weren't sure if you felt trans because hypnos or not. That is why I was saying you could be using hypnosis as a scapegoat. If you feel that hypnosis is just a way to appeal to your femininity, that's different.
(12 Dec 2020, 06:18 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]In my mind I have a certain image or standard of which I would want to embody as a female, but if real life keeps showing me square in the face that it's impossible then why even try? Why go through transition and make yourself more miserable if you end up an ugly mess?
It's too late for me and I have to accept that, but my issue is that I can't accept that 😔
If I may, it seems there are different things in here.
- the way you feel about your gender.
- Do you want to be recognised/socialised/living/... (partly or not) as a man or a woman? As @
vanessa_fetish also said, there are plenty of way of being trans and there is a lot more than just the way your body is/look like.
- the way you'd want your body to look like.
To make a CIS parallel, I know a lot of people being perfectly fine being cis-male or cis-woman but struggling about their body. for example, people making a lot of sport/regime to get a perfect body, people being depressed because of their weight/legs/muscle. It's human to want to bend in the mould as showed by the society. And society also does threw in the face of a lot of people how much away they are from a so-called standard. There are plenty of people who are not completely happy about their body not being able to fully attain their ideal. Sometimes, they just accept it, sometimes, they put some effort trying to get something more like they would like and stopping where they thing it's good enough.
Again, I'm a cis-man so I might say something wrong (please someone correct me if it's the case) but I feel like that your gender feelings should be prevalent to what body you idealises. How much discomfort you have in your gender situation (maybe you hate being a man) and how much you can't bare it. That's the first issue that you'd want to solve : to be happy about your gender. Then, there's the way you express yourself in your true gender. I met a very interesting boutch-like girl one day who I learned later by someone else was a trans-woman.
My point is that maybe your goal is perfect feminity but you might (as most woman) find it suitable not being that perfect. And I'm not so sure you would and up more miserable because your life, living in the good gender-body for you, should be happier than now. Also, why do you assume you would end up an ugly mess* while there are more and more beautiful and perfectly happy trans-people (man and woman)? (and I don't speak of only the one having gone through full surgery).
*you might have a
eady said it but this thread is so huge now...
(12 Dec 2020, 11:41 )no smile Wrote: [ -> ]- Do you want to be recognised/socialised/living/... (partly or not) as a man or a woman?
No, just woman, that is if I know I could pass.
(12 Dec 2020, 11:41 )no smile Wrote: [ -> ]As @vanessa_fetish also said, there are plenty of way of being trans and there is a lot more than just the way your body is/look like.
For me that's the most important part. I feel female on the inside, its just confusing and dysphoric not to see that on the outside. Imagine being a woman inside then getting called dude, man, sir all that long wherever you go. Its very disempowering.
(12 Dec 2020, 11:41 )no smile Wrote: [ -> ]To make a CIS parallel, I know a lot of people being perfectly fine being cis-male or cis-woman but struggling about their body. for example, people making a lot of sport/regime to get a perfect body, people being depressed because of their weight/legs/muscle. It's human to want to bend in the mould as showed by the society. And society also does threw in the face of a lot of people how much away they are from a so-called standard. There are plenty of people who are not completely happy about their body not being able to fully attain their ideal. Sometimes, they just accept it, sometimes, they put some effort trying to get something more like they would like and stopping where they thing it's good enough.
As a male, my body is just fine. I am lean and athletic. It's just that I don't want to be this body nor any other masculine ideal/body type. Going back to the girl I mentioned at work, she does seem to be attracted to me and flirts but I wouldn't want to be her bf, rather I want to have her figure and be like her in every way. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I just see all the female anatomy that is lacking because I don't have an additional x chromsome like her. My body is running on a male program and continously producing male features which I absolutely hate.
(12 Dec 2020, 11:41 )no smile Wrote: [ -> ]to be happy about your gender
I want to be happy as a female but I know I can't because I will never be able to fully live or become a woman.
(12 Dec 2020, 11:41 )no smile Wrote: [ -> ]I met a very interesting boutch-like girl one day who I learned later by someone else was a trans-woman.
Yeah but I don't want to be boutch, I want to be graceful and feminine like other girly girls. And that's my dilemma wherein my body doesn't correspond to how I would like to express my true gender.
(12 Dec 2020, 11:41 )no smile Wrote: [ -> ]My point is that maybe your goal is perfect feminity but you might (as most woman) find it suitable not being that perfect.
Forget about being perfect, I probably won't even look female. I don't think if I transitioned I would ever be gendered as a woman. While most women, as you said, might not want to be perfect but at least they have the privilege of getting acknowledged by their correct gender.
(12 Dec 2020, 11:41 )no smile Wrote: [ -> ]Also, why do you assume you would end up an ugly mess* while there are more and more beautiful and perfectly happy trans-people (man and woman)?
I'm just too old a
eady. Male puberty has a
eady passed and I can't do anything to undo what it has done to my body.
(12 Dec 2020, 17:21 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:I met a very interesting boutch-like girl one day who I learned later by someone else was a trans-woman.
Yeah but I don't want to be boutch, I want to be graceful and feminine like other girly girls. And that's my dilemma wherein my body doesn't correspond to how I would like to express my true gender.
I know, that was just an example of diversity and perfectly passing trans.
Why do you assume you can't be graceful and feminine? I know men who are more graceful than most woman, being feminine is not linked to the body either and isn't being girly mostly an attitude?
(12 Dec 2020, 17:21 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]As a male, my body is just fine. I am lean and athletic. It's just that I don't want to be this body nor any other masculine ideal/body type.
I never said you should work your male body...
(12 Dec 2020, 17:21 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ] (12 Dec 2020, 11:41 )no smile Wrote: [ -> ]to be happy about your gender
I want to be happy as a female but I know I can't because I will never be able to fully live or become a woman.
Physically, but gender is not only about the body.
(12 Dec 2020, 17:21 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:- Do you want to be recognised/socialised/living/... (partly or not) as a man or a woman?
No, just woman, that is if I know I could pass.
(12 Dec 2020, 17:21 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]My body is running on a male program and continously producing male features which I absolutely hate.
(12 Dec 2020, 17:21 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:As @vanessa_fetish also said, there are plenty of way of being trans and there is a lot more than just the way your body is/look like.
For me that's the most important part. I feel female on the inside, its just confusing and dysphoric not to see that on the outside. Imagine being a woman inside then getting called dude, man, sir all that long wherever you go. Its very disempowering.
(12 Dec 2020, 17:21 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ] (12 Dec 2020, 11:41 )no smile Wrote: [ -> ]My point is that maybe your goal is perfect feminity but you might (as most woman) find it suitable not being that perfect.
Forget about being perfect, I probably won't even look female. I don't think if I transitioned I would ever be gendered as a woman. While most women, as you said, might not want to be perfect but at least they have the privilege of getting acknowledged by their correct gender.
So, if I resume correctly :
- you want to live as a woman
- you hate your body
- you are not happy
- you feel very distressed and disempowered (and that's completely normal)
- You really seem to only associate gender to your body (why so?)
- you seem to prefer not having the privileged of being acknowledge as a woman than doing anything
- you seem afraid of passing so you just won't do anything (and again, I understand why it's so frightening to end up badly)
- To conclude, it very much feels like you just gave up some times ago reading you.
(12 Dec 2020, 17:21 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ] (12 Dec 2020, 11:41 )no smile Wrote: [ -> ]Also, why do you assume you would end up an ugly mess* while there are more and more beautiful and perfectly happy trans-people (man and woman)?
I'm just too old aeady. Male puberty has aeady passed and I can't do anything to undo what it has done to my body.
But again, you are only 21 for god's sake and gender is not only about your body. Of course it's part of it but it's so much more than pure body factor.