Like Ra's Naughty Forum

(22 Nov 2020, 23:26 )Like Ra Wrote: [ -> ]

(22 Nov 2020, 22:01 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]So what new perceptions have you had? Have you seen your soul, or maybe others ghosts/ spirits? Have you encountered non-physical dimensions?

Step by step 😊 And yes, I did and do encounter something interesting, that cannot be explained by "western science" 😊

Would you be able to share that experience, i'm really interested... 😊

(23 Nov 2020, 01:56 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]Would you be able to share that experience, i'm really interested...

I've been thinking of a separate series of blog posts for years now, just don't know how to formulate all this stuff I experienced during the last 7 years. It's very tricky to put that into words and I forgot some events and the sequence 😁 Need some help from The Force! 😁

(23 Nov 2020, 01:55 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]where then according to you do our thoughts and emotions come from? Furthermore, where does your sense of gender come from?

To understand the system one needs to get out of the system. This is what enlightenment and/or direct vision is for 😁

To some extent it's easier, simpler and more than enough enough to think, that the conscious and thoughts dwell in brains, just like for many cases it's enough to think, that the Earth is flat.

(23 Nov 2020, 03:44 )Like Ra Wrote: [ -> ]

(23 Nov 2020, 01:55 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]where then according to you do our thoughts and emotions come from? Furthermore, where does your sense of gender come from?

To understand the system one needs to get out of the system. This is what enlightenment and/or direct vision is for 😁

To some extent it's easier, simpler and more than enough enough to think, that the conscious and thoughts dwell in brains, just like for many cases it's enough to think, that the Earth is flat.

Ok, I see what you mean. But how does that change how I feel? If I honestly have transgender feelings that keep arising, why should I not do something about them. I've tried to ignore them (and even pursue enlightenment instead) but it didn't work. So I guess my only choice left is to accept them as who I am.

(22 Nov 2020, 20:54 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]But from what I remember reading essanym, is that you stopped transitioning, so how and why did those feelings get resolved for you?

Also, I do accept myself, but at the same time its very important to me that I get accepted by others too. Its hard enough when most days you doubt who you are because your mirror shows you an image that is inconsistent with how you feel inside; but those feelings get exponentially magnified when every person you meet treats you like a guy, because unfortunately that's all they see with their eyes.

So "passing" is very important to me. And so I would like to ask if you were ever able to pass successfully and be accepted by society?

I don't think the feelings completely went away, I just learned to cope with them better.  When I first realized transitioning was a possibility, I had the most motivation to make all the changes to myself as quick as possible.  Of course, as time went on, realization that my genetics and physical attributes were not compatible with my self image set in and I stopped worrying myself over changes that were impossible to make.  I'm happy with the changes I made that are still with me, but unless medical science comes up with a way to massively alter bone structure, the motivation I had in the beginning simply will not return.  I made peace with that reality for myself and choose to live with certain outlets for any residual frustrations I have with the hand I was dealt in life.

Passing successfully and being accepted by society are two different things and aren't necessarily overlapping all of the time.  For me, I might have been passable from 6 - 7 m away if I was sitting down.  Being as tall as I am though, as soon as I stand up, passable goes out the window.  My height, shoulder size and hand size were all dead giveaways although I did have some good moments with passing.  I remember standing out on the sidewalk outside of a bar, in the dark, talking on the phone as another guy passed me walking who was also on the phone.  I overheard him tell his buddy that he just passed the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.  That was a good feeling.  Also, I've been honked at by passing cars when out in public which is an interesting way to be complimented but I definitely appreciated anything I could get at the time.  Even in times that I most definitely was not passable, meaning that people knew that they were in the presence of a trans person, I was accepted by people around me.  At many times, some of the people that were accepting of me actively being trans (and looking the part) were some of the most unlikely people you would think.  Originally, I'm from Alabama so I used to hang out with hillbillys, rednecks and gun toting, nascar watching republicans all the time and none of them ever gave me a problem when I was being myself (trans) around them.  I'm not saying that all people like that would always be accepting, just that it's worth it to be your real self as much as you can because you might be surprised at who's got your back when you need it  Actually, one of those redneck guys thanked me for being a great friend and helping him get over being trans & homophobic.

If I could offer any advice to a young transwoman, the biggest thing would be to always be your honest, true self as much as you can, don't hide.  There's always exceptions to that, but in general, own your true identity.  Also, get good at doing your makeup, watch what you eat and exercise (youthful metabolism doesn't last forever), and do what @Like Ra suggests and take plenty of pictures while you're young and pretty; you'll definitely be thankful later.

My wife and I were discussing some jewellery pieces on eBay, their look, how they are presented, under what lighting, what they would look like under the usual ambient day light, etc.

Me: As always, they are selling another unreachable dream. For example, I absolutely love and want this pink latex mini dress
My wife: But you do not have such a figure.
Me: My point exactly!

[attachment=44836][attachment=44835]

(23 Nov 2020, 06:07 )essanym Wrote: [ -> ]I overheard him tell his buddy that he just passed the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. 

Whoa!

(23 Nov 2020, 06:07 )essanym Wrote: [ -> ]Also, I've been honked at by passing cars when out in public which is an interesting way to be complimented

I got a couple of catcalls when one evening we were cycling in the centre of the city with my wife while I was wearing a t-shirt, tight jeans mini shorts, ultra shiny Danskin tights and sneakers. I don't think I could be confused with a girl 😁

(23 Nov 2020, 06:07 )essanym Wrote: [ -> ]take plenty of pictures while you're young and pretty; you'll definitely be thankful later.

Yes, absolutely!

(22 Nov 2020, 00:14 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]Ok, so i'm struggling 😟 I tried to quit (for about a week) but I realize that you cant just throw out your identity like your female clothes (which i strongly regret a week later). Simply put, I don't think I am nor can I ever force myself to be a (straight) guy or even a feminine male. I tried so hard, but I kept being drawn back into femininity. At first it I thought I was mistaking it for attraction, but actually I am just jealous. I really hate that I was born and stuck as XY and not XX. I think this personal gender experiment is over and I have to accept that i'm just "one of the girls" from now.

What is most important is how you feel. And no one should push you either way (especially on the internet). There's no need to rush, as we move forward and time moves forward, we're better able to know what we want.

And yeah... I always advise against purging th closet. Best to put it somewhere you can't see it or easily get to than throw it out/give away just to find yourself buyng again. (Did that far too often early in my journey!!!)

Don't worry about chromosomes. They don't truly define gender. And there is a myriad of combos of chromosomes. Some (like me) that they are neither distintcly male nor distinctly female.

(22 Nov 2020, 20:54 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]But from what I remember reading essanym, is that you stopped transitioning, so how and why did those feelings get resolved for you?

Also, I do accept myself, but at the same time its very important to me that I get accepted by others too. Its hard enough when most days you doubt who you are because your mirror shows you an image that is inconsistent with how you feel inside; but those feelings get exponentially magnified when every person you meet treats you like a guy, because unfortunately that's all they see with their eyes.

So "passing" is very important to me. And so I would like to ask if you were ever able to pass successfully and be accepted by society?

To be honest most of us do not "pass" 100%. I hate that - "pass". Most after the first year or two hate that term as well. I hate it because it insinuates that trans women (or trans men) are lesser. We're not. I know I don't "pass" especially now that I am older. My voice does though lol. Have I "passed"? Yep. Did a watersports show at a strip club (I was the reciever). All the strippers thought I was cisgen. Even the club OWNERS. And crowd. (Good corset, good foundation, boobs sticking out of corset cups, 6 inch heels, a  good tuck job helped lol).

What others think is not the most important, what you think and feel is. Trying too hard to "fit in" or "blend in" often has unpleasant consequences.

(22 Nov 2020, 21:56 )Like Ra Wrote: [ -> ]

(22 Nov 2020, 21:25 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]So I believe that I have a female brain in the wrong physical body

Female brains have a much bigger https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corpus_callosum, so left and right halves are much more balanced.

Oh, have  a look here: https://stanmed.stanford.edu/2017spring/...erent.html

So, most likely you have a male brain, sorry.

You're mostly wrong. 

Studies have shown that trans womens brains are in fact more female than male. Problem is.... they only can tell once the person is deceased. I believe one of the studies was through New York.