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(09 Nov 2020, 19:24 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]But most people (99.9%) have no conflict with their sex or gender
It's, actually, less. There were published researches, and I cited the results in this thread somewhere.

(09 Nov 2020, 19:24 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]I don't want to go any deeper with this sensitive topic
To be honest, I'm not completely sure I fully understand your point, but I think we are agree on pretty much everything 😁

(09 Nov 2020, 19:24 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]do you at least acknowledge that there are people who are transgender and not just people who use feminization solely as a fetish?
There is a plenty of them in this forum 😁

There is a good test, that can quickly separate some fetishes: do you feel the same urge (to crossdress, to have a homo sex, to transition, to be in plugged and gagged, to be punished, etc) after you orgasm?
(09 Nov 2020, 20:03 )Like Ra Wrote: [ -> ]
(09 Nov 2020, 19:24 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]But most people (99.9%) have no conflict with their sex or gender
It's, actually, less. There were published researches, and I cited the results in this thread somewhere.

(09 Nov 2020, 19:24 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]I don't want to go any deeper with this sensitive topic
To be honest, I'm not completely sure I fully understand your point, but I think we are agree on pretty much everything 😁

(09 Nov 2020, 19:24 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]do you at least acknowledge that there are people who are transgender and not just people who use feminization solely as a fetish?
There is a plenty of them in this forum 😁

There is a good test, that can quickly separate some fetishes: do you feel the same urge (to crossdress, to have a homo sex, to transition, to be in plugged and gagged, to be punished, etc) after you orgasm?

Actually i feel something quite different. Before orgasm, I have a spark of hope to actually transform into my true self (hypnosis, magic, biokinesis, cross dressing and all that stuff to help) and that's what's exciting to me, to finally escape the gnawing feelings of dysphoria in the back of my mind....then post orgasm I see that nothing really has changed physically and so my sadness and depression worsens. Despite still wanting to engage in all those things before, I see them ultimately as futile. But what else can I do, since my family is very traditional and HRT is thus out of the question. And so a couple days pass and I slowly try to retrain my mind out of a state of hopelessness when looking at other happy women (and couples) in public...until I reach a state of envy which translates into hope...and so the cycle repeats again and again.😕🙁😭
(09 Nov 2020, 20:23 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]Actually i feel something quite different.
Out of curiosity, what is your result? http://transsexual.org/TEST0.html
(09 Nov 2020, 22:07 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]Here it is
Would it be possible for you to speak with professionals?
(10 Nov 2020, 00:00 )Like Ra Wrote: [ -> ]
(09 Nov 2020, 22:07 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]Here it is
Would it be possible for you to speak with professionals?

Not really, as I'm still a university student that lives with a very traditional and conservative family. They don't suspect anything but always push me to build a more muscular stature, which I absolutely hate, and when I say that I like the way my body is now, they tell me that I look like a girl. Secretly that's a huge compliment, but they use it as an insult. 

Other times when I try to grow and style my nails, they say cut them because I look like a creep and its embarrassing in public. Then I ask why my sisters get to style their nails, and they say its because they're female.

Same thing when I try to grow out my hair.

Other than those public attempts, most of the time I do stuff in private, like listen to mtf/estrogen stimulation subliminals, cross dress, painting nails,  shaving and eating more xenoestrogen foods etc.

As for erotic hypnosis, something about those files makes my mind subconsciously search out for feminine details when looking in the mirror. It really helps me manage my dysphoria as I become way less critical of my male form and instead try to focus on the feminine features.

Somedays, as i mentioned before, seeing women or them and their boyfriends in public triggers my depression (and envy) to the point where I cry myself to sleep because I think life is so unfair!

As far as i know this has been going on for 10 years, its only gotten worse recently as I realize my youth passing by.

One more thing I would like to add is that I have this very strong inner intuition that I was a Japanese/Korean or Chinese woman in my previous lifetime. I've even had dreams about it. In this life I was born male and live in Canada. Don't know if you believe in any of that or if you've had any flashbacks yourself 😁

Anyways...I am also curious to know your score🙂
(10 Nov 2020, 00:41 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ].I am also curious to know your score
You didn't follow the link, did you? 😁

(10 Nov 2020, 00:41 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]they tell me that I look like a girl. Secretly that's a huge compliment
😁

(10 Nov 2020, 00:41 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]as I'm still a university student
As I mentioned many times, I'm not fan of HRT, but if you begin at your age you might get nice results, especially if you get compliments like above. OTOH, it's another mortgage (lifespan-wise)...

(10 Nov 2020, 00:41 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]when I try to grow and style my nails
Do you play a guitar? I had very long nails on one hand since I was 18. Then I had to cut them because one particular martial art school required it. Now I have long nails on both hands. My wife offers to paint them, but still something interferes. 😁 I think bass can be played with long nails on the left hand 😋

(10 Nov 2020, 00:41 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]painting nails
BTW, I never had my nails painted...

(10 Nov 2020, 00:41 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]its only gotten worse recently as I realize my youth passing by.
Like I said, I wonder what would happen if I had the Internet when I was 10-12. For now I can only recommend to make as many photos of yourself dressed up and in makeup as possible.

(10 Nov 2020, 00:41 )female123 Wrote: [ -> ]I have this very strong inner intuition that I was a Japanese/Korean or Chinese woman in my previous lifetime. I've even had dreams about it. In this life I was born male and live in Canada. Don't know if you believe in any of that or if you've had any flashbacks yourself
Also sounds familiar. My strange "flashbacks" were about an Indian girl but on high heels. So... not sure.
(10 Nov 2020, 01:05 )Like Ra Wrote: [ -> ]Do you play a guitar?

No, but I used to play the flute. I was really good at too as my teacher always selected me over the other girls in my class to play the solos. Kinda sad that I don't have my own instrument though.

(10 Nov 2020, 01:05 )Like Ra Wrote: [ -> ]Also sounds familiar. My strange "flashbacks" were about an Indian girl but on high heels. So... not sure.

Whoa, that's so cool that you experienced that too!🙂
I mean guitarists usually have long nails on one hand. Oh! Harp!!!! What an excuse to have long (manicured 😋) nails on both hands!
(10 Nov 2020, 01:47 )Like Ra Wrote: [ -> ]I mean guitarists usually have long nails on one hand. Oh! Harp!!!! What an excuse to have long (manicured 😋) nails on both hands!

😁
@vanessa_fetish , what are the regulations in Canada? Can psychologist/gender therapist/whatever consultations be charged to the "basic" medical insurance? Or do you need to have something special for that?