07 Dec 2020, 12:59
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08 Dec 2020, 21:21
09 Dec 2020, 06:13
09 Dec 2020, 08:00
09 Dec 2020, 17:54
10 Dec 2020, 07:04
(09 Dec 2020, 17:54 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ](09 Dec 2020, 08:00 )cbshackle Wrote: [ -> ](08 Dec 2020, 21:21 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]@cbshackle
I would like to ask one more thing in regards to gender dysphoria. Is it a consistent feeling or does it come in waves? Because sometimes when I am really busy with school or work, I completely forget about gender and sexuality. And orgasm also seems to affect those feelings because I then seem to have a desire to throw out all my female clothes and delete any feminization files. I think after orgasm I feel this way because I can never attain true womanhood or a female sexual identity so I purge everything that I associate with femininity in an effort to "go back to normal." Idk just a thought...
That could be caused by a number of factors. "post-coital tristesse" was mentioned, but that is probably more of the symptom than the cause.
A similar thing happened to me when I was younger and had not accepted everything myself. Even to my kink side before I found the right partner. That went away when I had complete acceptance. (For kink first then my gender identity later.) There is a lot there to unpack. For me prior to HRT if I dressed too feminine it would make my dysphoria worse. Dressing more feminine mad the masculine traits stick out more. Prior to HRT, if I dressed more andro I could pass as a butch lesbian at times. As HRT took effect, I could dress more and more feminine and pass.
As I transition, I found my style of clothing that worked for me. (Cis women go through this as well.) One mistake some trans women make is they don't dress their age or they dress out of place for the occasion. (Like wearing a petticoat dress with nylon stockings to the mall.) My casual style ranges from leggings and tunic tops in the winter, to capris with long tops and summer dresses in warm weather. Choose what works best for you. My style is closer to the soccer mom look. (At least that is what my friends tell me.) (Not sure what that look would be called in the UK since it's football there.)
You mentioned earlier that you were unable to get access to a gender therapist, but there are other options. I would start out with your local LGBT Pride Center and look into support groups. With COVID still going on, most are having Zoom sessions for social distancing reasons. They may even be able to refer you to a therapist on a sliding scale.
Ok, so I'm going to be very open with how I feel...but what if the source of my post-coital tristesse or purging behaviour is because I am still a virgin (at 23)?
We know in psychology that the brain has many strange coping mechnisms and so what if my trans feelings/attachment to feminization hypnosis is my brain's attempt of coping with an absence of a female presence in my life by creating an imitated female identity in my mind? Because for one thing, I use sissy hypnos whenever my attraction to women gets strong enough irl in order hypnotize myself into becoming her and liking men so that I don't feel the pain/feelings of being single/lonely or not being good enough to have a gf or getting rejected if I try. And so that if I were female, men can shower me with the love/attention that is currently lacking in my life but that cis women recieve in abundance.
Also, most of my envy towards cis women stems from their ability to look so beautiful and get so much admiration/favors/bias from others, and if they wanted to, could use that to live a relatively effortless life like Instagram influencers.
So what if my trans feelings are an attempt to become something I cannot have or experience in real life? Is this normal? And have you encountered any (lesbian) transwomen who have felt similarly?
Hypnosis for the purpose of changing one's behavior only works if you want your behavior to change. You seem to be stuck with wanting to hypnotize yourself to like men when you think of yourself as a woman attracted to another woman. I just don't see the connection to that with being a virgin. Even as a virgin deep down you a
eady know your preferences and desire. I do feel that the pain and feelings of loneliness you are experiencing is causing you issues. Naturally, you are worried about being accepted for who you are. (We have all been down that road.) COVID has certainly amplified loneliness in many ways with social distancing. Let me say that no matter your gender identity or sexual orientation, there is someone out there for you. In any relationship you do get involved in, it's critical that you are your true self. If you change yourself to fit the mold of someone else, you will be miserable.
Cis women envy, this is very common and cis women do this with other cis women. As a woman, it's normal to see an attractive woman and admire her beauty and want to be her. It doesn't mean your a lesbian or a case of autogynephilia. ( the theory of autogynephilia has been largely debunked anyway as women can get turned on by thinking of themselves as another woman they see.) It just means you admire her.
Trans feelings are just identifying as a different gender you were assigned at birth. The thought of transitioning can be scary especially with it being taboo compared to just being gay or lesbian, but it is getting better and more accepted in society as a whole. While there are goals in transitioning, it does take work. The earlier you can start the better results you can get, but there are no guarantees on how you are going to look after you transition, but neither does a teenage girl going to know when she reaches adulthood. This is something lesbian and straight trans women have experienced.
10 Dec 2020, 07:26
(10 Dec 2020, 07:04 )cbshackle Wrote: [ -> ]Hypnosis for the purpose of changing one's behavior only works if you want your behavior to change. You seem to be stuck with wanting to hypnotize yourself to like men when you think of yourself as a woman attracted to another woman. I just don't see the connection to that with being a virgin. Even as a virgin deep down you a
Thank you for your response, it is very helpful. But I want to just clarify further on something you seemed to have skipped over in my post which I think is the crux of my trans feelings. Most of the hypnosis I use is feminization hypnosis. It has suggestions that may result in creating an additional personality or changing one's current identity and gender.
One of the reasons I use these files is when I get overwhelmed with life and feelings of being single with no gf. So I listen to these files (as an escape?) because life would be so much better/easier as a girl and I wouldn't have to have a gf then, because I would be her.
I do feel happy/better when I listen to these files but those feeling end after orgasm. And then I feel even worse because it was all not real but illusion/fantasy.
11 Dec 2020, 07:41
(10 Dec 2020, 07:26 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ](10 Dec 2020, 07:04 )cbshackle Wrote: [ -> ]Hypnosis for the purpose of changing one's behavior only works if you want your behavior to change. You seem to be stuck with wanting to hypnotize yourself to like men when you think of yourself as a woman attracted to another woman. I just don't see the connection to that with being a virgin. Even as a virgin deep down you a
Thank you for your response, it is very helpful. But I want to just clarify further on something you seemed to have skipped over in my post which I think is the crux of my trans feelings. Most of the hypnosis I use is feminization hypnosis. It has suggestions that may result in creating an additional personality or changing one's current identity and gender.
One of the reasons I use these files is when I get overwhelmed with life and feelings of being single with no gf. So I listen to these files (as an escape?) because life would be so much better/easier as a girl and I wouldn't have to have a gf then, because I would be her.
I do feel happy/better when I listen to these files but those feeling end after orgasm. And then I feel even worse because it was all not real but illusion/fantasy.
Basically after thinking a lot about my gender, I just want to be sure that I am really trans and not under the influence of hypnosis. Although I have to add that I want to be female/more feminized irl which may make the hypnosis sessions more effective. But now I'm not sure if its real trans feelings or are they coming from a cycle of wanting feminization...leading to more effective hypnosis suggestions...leading to wanting to be feminized even more. Idk, but what do you think @cbshackle? Is it normal for transwomen to be involved with the feminization genre?
11 Dec 2020, 19:09
I know I'm not the one you asked, but I believe that if you are looking for something in hypnosis then you probably aeady are/want that thing. If you look up force crossdress hypno, then you probably aeady want to do that. Gay hypno, you probably aeady are. Feminization hypno, you probably aeady want to be feminized.
eady are/want that thing. If you look up force crossdress hypno, then you probably aeady want to do that. Gay hypno, you probably aeady are. Feminization hypno, you probably aeady want to be feminized.11 Dec 2020, 21:15
I'm not so sure about it.
You could perfectly
- have a fantasy about it and using hypnoses for it to feel real while being perfectly OK with you gender in your everyday
- or in opposite, be trans and feeling therefore confortable under hypnosis and using it as a way of feeling more "at home".
That's quite hard to separate these two situations. Except if you aeady had this feeling of being trans before using hypnoses which might be a clue.
@Hazel , you could use a defusing hypno file (or whatever it's called. I remember seeing those in the forum but since hypnoses never really worked for me, I dismissed the information from my brain. 😉 ). I've near zero knowledge on hypnosis so hopefully someone with a better understanding on the forum might answer but I recall having read it's (most of the time) possible to annihilate the effect. You could then be more "neutral about yourself" (with less undermine influence) and therefore more aware of your gender feelings.
But since using hypnosis really is entangling things, seing a specialist might be a good way to sort thing out.
You could perfectly
- have a fantasy about it and using hypnoses for it to feel real while being perfectly OK with you gender in your everyday
- or in opposite, be trans and feeling therefore confortable under hypnosis and using it as a way of feeling more "at home".
That's quite hard to separate these two situations. Except if you a
eady had this feeling of being trans before using hypnoses which might be a clue.@Hazel , you could use a defusing hypno file (or whatever it's called. I remember seeing those in the forum but since hypnoses never really worked for me, I dismissed the information from my brain. 😉 ). I've near zero knowledge on hypnosis so hopefully someone with a better understanding on the forum might answer but I recall having read it's (most of the time) possible to annihilate the effect. You could then be more "neutral about yourself" (with less undermine influence) and therefore more aware of your gender feelings.
But since using hypnosis really is entangling things, seing a specialist might be a good way to sort thing out.