(01 Dec 2020, 05:56 )Hazel Wrote: [ -> ]the sense of an incongruency of my female gender identity and what I see in the mirror.
I fully understand this, and I know this feeling exactly. Hence I asked about your feelings when you CLOSE YOUR EYES.
No mirror, no photo, no hands/legs in your field of view.
Just blackness.
Just a black hole.
No visualization.
No past.
No future.
Only now.
Only the sound of the bloodstream in your ears.
Only the pressure of the surface you sit or lie on.
Only rhythmic breathing.
Just blackness.
No memory of anything, while your eyes are closed, no emotions, even the breathing is becoming very subtle and you stop noticing it.
Pure blackness.
Try to feel the spot a couple of inches above your crown, feel it like there is a physical connection to your head.
Move to that point and look down to the ultimate blackness beneath.
Just emptiness.
You look down on your own crown, but it's so dark, that you can't see it, but you know that it's there, but you are above now.
You are hidden, invisible and safe.
And from there, if you watch attentively, you might notice what is looking for you, what is trying to destabilize you, what is trying to steal energy from you, what is constantly ignites the same emotions.
What does it look like?
Does it have a name? Ask it! "What is your name?" "What are you doing to me?"
Thank it for all the lessons, and ask it to give your energy back, take its energy and leave you forever, because you do not need its service and it should proceed with its own progress.
Feel it leaves you, feel how it takes the swirl of words and emotions with it.
Look down.
See how the blackness below relaxes?
Feel the relief.
Feel how much more energy and clarity you have now!
Now go down to you body and open your eyes.
What do you feel?
Do you think there is something else?
Just repeat the procedure again, there might be, indeed, another entity willing to eat you. Who wouldn't?