21 Apr 2021, 11:15
(02 Mar 2020, 19:45 )Selfexploration Wrote: [ -> ]The awareness path has been quite the trip itself indeed. I’ve only recently started finding that same inner calm watching presence when turned on sexually & having these experiences. Before the intensity of it all seemed to be too much and I’d get taken over, or perhaps I was still too weak in my power/ young in my journey.
I listened to Bambi again this weekend. During it I found myself more aware of listening then before and found myself antsy to get to orgasm/ a bit “bored” as I knew what to expect. I even skipped parts of tracks. Orgasm wasn’t quite as intense as the first one I had when listening. My first thought after was “damn 3 hours of edging for an orgasm ain’t nobody got time for that”. I went to sleep thinking the programming isn’t working.
I had a wonderful day of dressing on & off and hanging out my a creek microdosing on some mushrooms. In the evening I smoked a sativa j while 60% dressed (no corset/ butt plug) and Bambi came out full force. I think I somehow triggered myself. I’d collapse (safely & slowly) down. Waves of pleasure swept through my body. At first this scared me but *I* reassured myself that it’s okay to explore this for the night. There was a voice in my head telling me what to do- kinda like the hypno but it had its own script. I kept repeating “bimbo doll needs bigger breasts & butt plugged” I giggled at all the “b’s”. I also danced and swayed & moved my body in a sexual way- something I’ve always struggled with as a guy and have been trying to figure out why more and more in the last few months. I’d snap my fingers to the music and shake my butt without thinking twice about it. Walking became excruciatingly pleasureable as my penis was tightly tucked in my panties & with my legs tight at the knees & my feet swaying over thighs tight every step became mindless bliss. I did have to suck a dildo to change into a different corset as my hands would go limp when I’d reach back for the laces. After 2 tries I felt pleasure so powerful my knees went weak. While sucking the dildo I had absolutely no control. It felt like my head would get pushed down fully onto it, I gagged a bit but kept getting better at it every time.
When I first started listening 3 weeks back I remember judging a neighbor for having a housekeeper come once a week. I also remember thinking how nice it would be to be a cute girl in tight leggings cleaning someone’s house. Last night my wish cane true as I became Alex’s (my male self) slutty housekeeper. I woke up & there were no clothes on the floor, faucets were sparkling clean, cabinets polished, stove clean & everything where it belongs. (A rare sight especially in the mornings) I remember the voice telling me to clean last night before I could receive any pleasure, that this will make Alex so very happy- I obeyed blissfully. I also wrote my male self a home improvements to-do list (fix window molding, paint wall, finish lighting project, etc) things I’ve been meaning to do for months but haven’t got around to. Bambi said there will be lots of pleasure in store for me next weekend if I get these things done. Im thinking of getting a French maid outfit & turning this into a literotica story lol.
I think I remember most of what had happened & would periodically “self check in” with myself. Ended the night by listening to track 1, having a vibrator orgasm, taking everything off & falling asleep easily. Woke up in the morning & wrote this down. Had a lot of mental clarity & acceptance of my male self
I couldn’t have imagined anything close to this experience when I first started listening. (Listened 4 times to 1-10 so far) It feels like over the last few years I’ve been mentally transforming my body into the female ideal (my tucked cock will orgasm just by rubbing it like a girl would her clit/ periodically I’ll use suction cups on my breasts that have some mass to them) so the hardware is there- but the software was lacking until now. Installing Bambi was like installing a secondary operating system. Not sure where this journey will take me but I sure am grateful for all the pleasure I’ve received thus far.
Lastly, the barbi girl song has been stuck in my head all day. When I finally listened to it I felt so blissfully happy & content. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Wow.. I read this before (probably years ago), but just read this again now. I'm finding reading about Bambi Sleep I'm somehow understanding it on another level now, and it's so interesting to hear how some people manage to use it in an empowering way, some use it in a symbiotic way, and some seem to use it like they're possessed and fighting it.
Anyway, thank you for posting your experiences, and if you have any updates (if you're still checking these forums), then I'd love to hear them.