Yes Ra. It is. I went from 0-110 mph in two days. Put together a playlist that runs nearly 5 hours and listened to it last evening. Tweaking that list today for more planned listening tonight.
But a couple of caveats...
on the Con side:
- I find that, for myself, these desires come in waves.
- Yet, it is hard to stop. You bet - right up there with giving up cigarettes or chronic heavy alcohol ingestion. In this sense I do not consider such a thing like disengaging from the Bambi files unusual as most addictive behaviors (like the aforementioned) are dopamine based behaviors and they are hard habits to break regardless of source of origin.
- Behavioral changes? Yes. Along the lines a
eady mentioned in the thread. OCD, periods of amnesia, fear, confusion.
On the pro side:
- Lifelong dysphoria takes a toll on the psyche and leads to secretive behavior, damages one's relationships and self-esteem and for those who came into this mid-last century denial and suppression were the only alternatives.
- I'm a large (linebacker big) male. Vanity always was an inhibiting factor in dressing or considering transition - because I wouldn't look good. Bambi may have dragged me over that line, but the alternative was continued self-loathing for 'weaknesses' and not being honest with my wife and family. So I finally went to a therapist to hash these things out.
- "You don't know what you don't know until you get a new perspective." HRT - whether Bambi precipitated or not, has informed me of SO MANY new perspectives on life and my broken understanding of women and the challenges they face in their lives. I've learned A LOT, particularly how many blind spots male societal conditioning installs.
- Gender is a social construct. There is no hetero-normative 'standard'. If you consider yourself cis, fine. If your image is somewhere in between or leans towards the opposite of your outcome in the 'birth lottery' that is fine also. Then, faced with such a circumstance and, from my experience, it is better to explore and seek to understand those inclinations rather than deny, hide or trying to suppress them.
I came to resolving my gender transition questions late in life after having fulfilled the traditional roles as husband and the father to two fine, well-adjusted young men - we now have 7 grandchildren. I have been blessed with an understanding spouse and children and, while this is a more complicated subject, I don't have any strong desire to identify as either a male of a female - although now I have characteristics of both. Simply - I am a human being first and foremost - how I state my sexual preferences comes later on in the list of adopted labels. The summary for this paragraph is I do not consider any part of my life "wasted time" in terms of fulfilling a traditional male gender role nor do I feel I've lost anything by deciding to transition late in life.
What I'm saying in a broad and round about way is: Don't feel any pressure to make 'snap decisions' due to the psychological effects of Bambi or dysphoria in general. I say this as it seems most people who write on this topic become frightened and "don't want to lose who they are" or come to a crossroads where they consider transitioning and are worried about the social consequences. HRT is reversible after you start it - if you find you do not like the effects. In my case undertaking transition counseling and HRT was more to balance my internal state and ameliorate my dysphoria-based conflicts - which it did (does). Unfortunately, as it relates to the 'con' side of the equation it does greatly amplify the effectiveness of erotic hypnosis as it energizes those portions of the human brain capable of processing what we label 'feminine impressions'.
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