http://www.likera.com/sb/real/strict/ses57.php

The perils and challenges of a closet Self-bondager!

A light-hearted look at the side of our hobby we seldom discuss:

Isn’t it odd, that in an age where ‘coming out of the closet’ to announce that you are gay is perfectly acceptable, whereas if you where to be found out as a pantyhose, lycra or latex wearing self-bondager you would be almost certainly be the subject of ridicule and hounded by the popular press (people in the UK will know the newspapers I’m talking about😡).

And yet, what you and I are doing doesn’t involve anyone else (well it is ‘self-bondage’ – DUH!😕) and for the vast majority of time takes place in the confines of our own homes! I know that I don’t hurt anyone, I don’t impose my will upon others and I like to think that I help boost the economy with my purchases of all that lycra, expensive latex clothes, all those pantyhose (they don’t last so long when you keep tying yourself up!:blush😊 and all that rope – not forgetting the gags, plugs, leather cuffs, etc!

So here I am, a perfectly respectable gent, in the prime of my life (I like to think so😁) – hiding behind a pseudonym, covertly purchasing my ‘toys’ and generally doing my level best to remain hidden away from everyone.

Now, I don’t know how this works for all you other happy souls out there in the big wide world, but here is a light-hearted (but only too real) look at the silly lengths that I go to in order to keep my dreadful secret!

Purchasing items:

The internet has been, for me at least, the most wonderful thing to ever happen. I can browse for hours to find those items I use in my sessions. No longer do I spends days picking up the courage to visit a sex shop to buy a gag or plug – 10 minutes on Google or eBay and the item is mine.

But it’s not that simple… how do I arrange the delivery to avoid the prying nose of my loving (but maybe not completely understanding) partner? She’s bright and intelligent (top tip #1 – always, always clear the cache and temp files on your PC, delete the ‘recently viewed’ section of eBay and remember to log-out of those wonderful website forums).

My tactics are to align major purchases with birthdays and Christmas (or any other festival you chose celebrate) – obviously you must also purchase items for those who witness the deliveries, so plan very carefully.

I still buy some items from shops – rope is a simple enough item, as is cling-film (saran wrap) and tape. Pantyhose/Tights/Stockings require, for me at least, some nerve and I ‘hide’ them in amongst a more general ‘mega-shop’. I’m sure I must look a little odd, as I carefully examine my long ‘shopping list’ and select the packets from the hosiery section of the supermarket. One plus of this is that you can earn much Oddly, buying some items of Lycra is much easier – the swimsuit and lingerie sections of most major stores have assistants only too willing to help the ‘baffled husband’ chose something for his wife. (Top tip #2 – hide or destroy the receipts, you’d be amazed how intently some partners will analyse a bill to see what you’ve been spending the household allowance on!)

Where to store your toys:

So, you’ve brought dozens of pairs of pantyhose, 100ft of rope, zentai suit, latex catsuit and an enema kit – now where are you going to put it all? This must be one of the perennial problems faced by those of us who share our lives with others (girlfriends, boyfriends, flatmates, parents, etc). In my case the best hiding places are in the gap beneath the bottom of a draw or wardrobe, in locked briefcases at the back of wardrobes and, if all else fails, buried under a pile of my ‘normal clothing’.

I live in dread of my partner announcing that she is [i]‘…going to tidy up that mess in the wardrobe…’!

Finding play-time:

OK – you’ve now brought all you gear, stashed it in a safe hiding place under the floorboards and have got a fridge full of ice cubes, but…. Is it only me, but the more I want to have some self-bondage fun – the less opportunities I get to play!

Let’s be honest, none of us want a rushed 30 minute session – always listening for the sound of a returning car or key in the door-lock. We want time to enjoy the helplessness and revel in the pleasures our pastime gives us… and we want at least an hour to clear everything away...and another hour of ‘just in case’ time (the ice took longer to melt, the knots where tighter or the knife harder to reach). Personally I want at least 3-4 hours of quality playtime, but I much prefer a whole day. I’ve been very lucky enough to have a whole 5 days once – Ahh bliss – happy, happy times!😁

How can we make time? Ra and I both look for business trips as an opportunity to have some fun, but not everyone has that chance – so what else is there?

A day off work, if your partner works, is always a good start – you have the house to yourself for a good few hours. Why not treat your loved one to a special day on their own at a spa, to the city, theatre, etc – OK it costs money, but it’s a win – win scenario. They’ll love you all the more for the treat and you’ll get to have some fun too!

(Top tip #3 – be very sure they have got all they need before leaving and don’t suddenly return for forgotten tickets, lipstick or similar).

If all else fails you could simply feign illness when a scheduled trip to their relations is due and then have a miraculous recovery as soon as they leave

(Top tip #4 – don’t overdo this one, for obvious reasons!).

When you have managed to be ‘home alone’ take a few more precautions. Have a phone to hand, not just for emergencies, but to answer calls whilst you can – this can give the impression that (even if you’re dressed for self-bondage and everything but your hands are tightly bound) all is fine and normal. I have once held a 20min phone conversation with my partner, whilst completely encased in pantyhose, legs bound together and enema ready to go – I’m sure she never guessed! 😇

I also double-lock the doors, preventing any ‘sudden’ entry by people with keys to the house. I know there is a risk, if something has gone wrong with your release – but access isn’t impossible, just delayed and possibly long enough to be free!

(Top tip #5 – always have you excuses planned. Here are some examples –
Q) why couldn’t you answer the phone? A) I was on the toilet/shopping/feeding the birds.
Q) Why was the door locked? A) I’d heard there where burglars in the area and wanted your stuff to be safe!
Q) why are there ropes on the floor, pantyhose on the bed and a latex mask in the kitchen A) Errr! )


Afterwards:

The ice has melted; you are free at last – what happens next? Well, there is the obvious, but what after that? Personally, I like to get everything packed away as soon as possible, just in case of an unexpected early return! This does lead to a few problems; you will need to wash your clothes now and again (sweat smells!), even your ropes will benefit from turn in the washing machine. You will need to plan these chores with the same care as any session.

Some of my sessions involve disposable items such as tape, cling-film, etc. These and any ruined pantyhose (it happens!) have to be bagged and buried in the bin, underneath the normal detritus of a household. (Top tip #6 – Don’t use clear plastic bags for this!).

I always double check the house for accidental traces of my activities – you know the signs: water from an ice release, scuff marks where the rope has rubbed on furniture, bits of rope/tape, etc. My nearest miss was leaving the butt-plug on the bedside table – fortunately I spotted it first and managed to distract my partner and hid it under a pillow before she saw it.

There is one more tell-tale sign of successful session – rope/cuff/gag marks on your skin. Maybe it’s only me, but I like my bondage TIGHT and that does leave marks. Worst session (or best!) left me with two deep red lines over both shoulders (cling-film had pulled very tight – but was soooo sexy) and took 3 days to fade away; that needed some very elaborate manoeuvring to hide. I have also bruised myself on more than one occasion – after using some fairly simple, excuses she now thinks I’m the clumsiest DIY man in the UK (if only she knew what I was doing to myself!)


So there you have it – the reasons why I believe that, by it’s self, my self-bondage needs only a tiny part of the effort required to achieve a successful session and maintain the semblance of ‘normality’ to the outside world

I'm of to hide back in the closet

Play safe

MJ

Added a Shoutbox feature to the forum. Not sure if it's useful. This is a chat-like program. The link is in the upper-right corner.

o- MadJack's posts have been fixed (the pictures are back)
o- blog -> forum links have been corrected
o- I'm fixing forum->static pages links

http://www.likera.com/blog/wp/archives/1246

Hi, just found your site today and have enjoyed reading it. Its funny how on the internet there is always someone who shares your interests. I have often fantasised about being controlled and dominated by a strong man or woman, and it is interesting to see that it is possible to explore some fantasies of mine on my own.

Hi All

Is the colour of your pantyhose or stockings important to you?

This question keeps coming into my mind whenever I look at photos on this and other sites.

Why? Well, for me it is that some colours really don't 'do it' for me - in fact they can actually turn me off (or not turn me on, if you see what I mean) 😟

So I wondered if it was just me or if others had a thing for colours as well as the wonderful feel of nylon and lycra?

For the record (and I bet you could all guess this from my postings and pictures!), my favourite colours are:

Tan - 😁 this includes Toast and Nude
Black - which is simple enough 😊

And, risking upsetting a great number of people, my turn off's are:

White, Green and Pink

...and anything with stripes or a pattern :evil:

So there you go... I know it shouldn't really matter (especially if I'm blindfolded or wearing a hood) but I just can't get on with those other colours.

What do you think - am I in the minority (again!)?

MJ

Equipment:
Long-sleeved Opaque body stocking (tan)
4 pairs pantyhose (tan)
3 ‘knee-highs’
Black Lycra body
High-heeled boots
Head-harness gag
Ice-cubes and SRD
Emergency release
Butt plug
Lots of rope!

The session:
I’d had the house to myself for nearly a week and had done some pretty amazing sessions aeady (see my earlier posts), however I wanted this session to be bigger and better. Even after days of self-bondage fun I still couldn’t wait to get myself helplessly bound, so as soon as I was plugged, dressed (my particular thing is multiple layers of pantyhose – I’d also encased my cock in nylon using the knee-high as described in other posts) and booted, I started to apply my bondage. I must admit to a failure for 100% coverage (sorry Ra! 😯ops: ) – I’d left my hands free to do the knotting and also a small area of my chest was missing that lovely layer of fabric.

I began my bondage at my booted ankles which where firmly lashed together, and then further ropes above and below my knees. I added a final rope around my upper thighs, cinching it tight and then drawing the free end (going from front to back) up to the small of my back and then wrapped the remaining rope tightly around my waist. This meant that a rope was now tight across the butt plug, holding it in place (not that it was required with all those layers of nylon and the lycra body) and my waist corseted in rope – nice! 😁

I had chosen the bed for the session location, but had added a twist! I’d rolled the duvet into a long sausage and set it on the very edge of one side of the bed (all my gear was set up or laid close to hand). Sitting on the edge of the bed my bum was balancing on the top of the rolled duvet, it would be very easy to over-balance backwards and fall crosswise onto the bed – which was all part of my plan. I used more rope to secure my tied ankles to the edge of the bed, holding my balance a little more – but not much. Next I applied a pair of pantyhose, one leg inside the other, pulled down over my head which I followed with the harness gag.

My next step was to ‘activate’ my emergency escape method. In deference to Ra’s forum and website rules, all I will say is that I would have the option to move backwards and free myself, but at a cost! Once set-up, the emergency escape made it essential to maintain my balance on the rolled duvet - If I tipped backwards… well, lets just say ‘not good’! :evil:

I should really describe the SRD and ice-cube timer: this was a fairly simple set-up - a couple of ice-cubes inside the laundry bag prevented it pulling through a single ring I had attached to the SRD. The tie cord of the laundry bag was secured to a fixing away from the bed. This assembly held the SRD tightly until the ice melted and then released the whole SRD – allowing my freedom.

Before setting off on the final stage, I switched the video camera on to record my session.

For my delayed release I had set the SRD behind my back, with a rope noose and the tightening pull-cord close to hand. Pulling the two remaining knee-highs over each hand and over the long sleeves of the body-stocking completed my near total encasement (next time I will go for 100% 😁 ). I placed my wrists behind me, slid the rope noose up my left arm and forced both wrists through a rope that was pre-formed into a series of loops – just large enough for me to squeeze my wrists through and still be comfortable. Now I worked the noose back down over the left wrist so that it would cinch the wrist loops together when pulled tight. After pausing to check everything I could think about was OK (you all know this part! Did I lock the front door? Am I sure no-one is planning to visit? Are my safety devices in place? Is it warm enough to melt the ice before my partner comes home? And all the other last minute worries! )

Finally ready, I hauled on the tightening rope of the SRD. After a few tugs I felt the noose begin to tighten, a few more and I was aeady getting that delicious feeling of being truly helpless. Even though the noose was now tight, cinching my wrists helplessly together, I still pulled the rope tighter and my wrists where now pulled backwards away from my body, not quite a Strappado – but close. 8)

Now I was truly stuck, with no escape until the ice melted or I paid the price of an early release. I had deliberately made my predicament worse by the need to remain balanced on the edge of the bed. The pull on my arms and wrists tried to tumble me backwards off the rolled duvet, but that would cause the emergency release to happen – not something I wanted to undergo! :twisted: I could use my bound legs as a lever to keep me upright (tying my ankles to the bed was a great help), but this was very exhausting. The best approach I found was to remain perfectly still and the balance held.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to stay still when you’re bound and turned on? :?:

I desperately wanted to writhe and stimulate myself. The rope holding my plug in was a real distraction, any movement caused it to push the butt-plug a little – and my breathing caused movement! I tried leaning forwards, which helped for a little time, but the rope pulling my wrists backwards became uncomfortable after a minute or two (my shoulders would start to ache) and I had to move backwards again, risking the overbalance and…. !

Always before my SB antics had a fairly easy escape route – maybe a long crawl, an awkward shuffle or fiddling with lots of rope and knots – I knew I could be free if I wanted to be. This session was different, freedom was possible – but at a cost I didn’t really want to pay (unless the house caught fire or something similarly awful happened). I wasn’t going to be free until that ice melted, I couldn’t fall asleep and let the time pass without falling over (not good!) so I had to stay alert and focused.

After around 20 minutes I tried tugging on the SRD hoping it would come free – nothing gave. I tried twisting and pulling my wrists free of the cinched loops – stuck solid. I even tried to alter my position to ease the balancing – no slack to move.

It was my ultimate SB experience so far! And, despite all the aches and effort, I was loving every moment of it! After around 45 minutes (I could just make out the LED of the bedside clock) I was even beginning to plan my next session – I could be fully encased, use more ice, rig a delayed enema…

Finally after just over an hour I felt the SRD noose rope become slack and my arms, through still bound, could relax against my back once more - howvere, I still wasn’t free! Even though the SRD had been released I had to struggle to free the noose cinch and avoid the dreaded over-balancing. I guess it took me a further 5 minutes of often frantic struggles to free my wrists and another 5 minutes to de-activate the emergency release and un-tie my legs (important safety note to self – what if there had been an really urgent need to be free?).

As you might imagine the final release was well deserved… 😁


The release:
Waiting for those ice cubes to melt sufficiently, to allow the laundry bag to pull through the small ring, which retained the SRD – highly recommended.

What went well?
Nearly all of it! I still get turned on watching the recording of myself!

What could be improved?
I really want to figure out a great way of using rope to bind my wrists, but for it not be too much of a struggle to free myself (the fine line between sexy and scary!) or maybe find something else (not keen on handcuffs) that can give me the same feelings.

I want to be fully encased in nylon/lycra (I was so close, yet so far!) – But I have to figure out how to see and feel my way into SB through the layers covering me.

Could I incorporate an enema as part of the release method? My idea is that I would be forced to start it as part of the initial release and then have ‘x’ minutes to fully free myself, as it emptied into my body (it took nearly 10 minutes in my session). Has anyone tried this – do you have any tips or ideas?

There! I hope you folks enjoyed another one of my sessions - I do have some screen shots from the video, but Ra would have to OK them before I would post (his site - his rules).

Have fun and stay safe!

MJ

hey!!.. i have followed SB for some time now and find it so much fun. I am a twenty year old male and feel like i have hit a SB wall so to speak lol. I am looking for a kind of virtual top who can give me orders to follow and scenarios to act out. i own a set of handcuffs,nipple clamps,clothes pegs,rope,chain,padlocks,high heels,various womens clothes and i guess what ever else you guys and gals can think of round the home....or ive heard in the garden 😋 (nettles) 😋 i dont really have any quims with anything and will try anything once no matter how twisted or evil lol. i really think it would be a massive turn on doin something that someone else wants me to do....and there may be some photographic evidence in it for you 😊 i hope to hear from someone and i will be waiting hogtied next to my laptop !!! lol

thankyou very much and ii cant wait for some instructions......use me and abuse me.... :twisted:

http://www.likera.com/blog/wp/archives/10314