Category: Art

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 28. Expecting unexpected and randomness in selfbondage and bondage sessions

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Another point. Expectations. Expectations is like prejudice (Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 19. Fetish, bondage, dogmas and prejudice). Very unfair, very painful: “You have not met my expectations”, “I expected more from you”. Did we both agree on the list of your expectations and signed it? No? F@#$%^&* off!

Bad expectations, on one hand, may help to prepare in advance or avoid unwanted events. But on the other, it may scare us off and we may miss unique opportunities.

I bet you all have dozens of real life examples, but let’s have look from a bit other side – from the bondage and self-bondage point of view.

Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 28. Expecting unexpected and randomness in selfbondage and bondage sessions”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 27. What does you partner want?

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Another point. Do you know what your partner actually wants? Not what you think what she/he might find exciting (read: what excites you ;-).

Unfortunately we are led by our own fetishes, in most cases mistakenly thinking that our partners have the same addictions. If it is indeed so, you are lucky. I do know a case when a girl used to self-bind herself (pantyhose, latex, lycra cocoons) in front of her boy, because he liked that, and he was with her during these moments, and he was looking at her with excitement in his eyes. I hope she enjoyed it a bit too.

But I also know cases when:

Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 27. What does you partner want?”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 26. Incentives and neighbours

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Indeed, neighbourhood is convenient and as I learned later this is what our neighbours thought as well. They were afraid that I would foist my “friendship” on their daughter, e.g, over the balcony 😉 Same age, same school, parallel classes. Later our classes were merged together and we appeared in the same class.

It never “clicked” between us. But once on the way home I was walking behind her and looking at her slender legs in sheer white with very thin black (dark grey?) horizontal stripes pantyhose and was thinking:”And why did we miss such a brilliant opportunity…?”

Yeah, I was always a fetishist 😉

Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 26. Incentives and neighbours”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 25. Incentives, pretexts and excuses

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Two more points. Given you are a fetishist and you love (self)bondage (since you are on this site ;-), consider you need to learn or do something (e.g. to learn a new language). What would be the best incentives for you?

  • A fetish class where students are punished for making errors (e.g. get bound? plugged? spanked? undressed? inflatable plugs are inflated further? added nipple clamps with weights?)
  • A fetish class where students are rewarded for correct answers and good performance (e.g. got stimulated with vibrators, get bound, plugged, dressed up, butt-plugs got deflated, bound behind the back arms lowered)
  • A fetish class where pupils receive scores and at the end of the day the one with less (more?) points Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 25. Incentives, pretexts and excuses”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 24. Fetish clothes and embarrassing moments

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Another point. Last years I have to concentrate on what I’m wearing and where. For example, going to martial arts trainings I have to “explicitly” check if I’m not wearing pantyhose and no other underwear. I got used to wear pantyhose always and everywhere, so they become almost a part of my skin.

Have you ever experienced anything like that? Or probably even embarrassing moments?

Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 24. Fetish clothes and embarrassing moments”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 23. More naked than bare

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Another point. Indeed some clothes make you look and feel more naked than if there were no clothes at all. Strange feeling…

… 15 years ago a daughter of my boss came to the office. I can’t say we knew each other very good or were close friends, no, but over some time we developed a funny habit to jokingly insult each other at any convenient moment. Not something what you would do with a boss’ kid, but that was me after all 😉

She was wearing a skirt (~6-8cm above her knees) and thin very sheer and slightly shimmering skin colored pantyhose. Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 23. More naked than bare”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 22. Mud-walking and bodily fluids

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Many-many years ago I’ve read somewhere that men should at least once a year crawl in mud to let go frustration and self-importance.

The Dutch have a hobby – mud-walking (wadlopen) – four hour walking from the mainland of the Netherlands to one of the Frisian Islands, when the tide is low. Another one is crawling in the mud and jumping over canals (with poles and without). In all the cases the result is tiredness, ruined clothes and destroyed model of “normality” in “usual” society (usually you avoid dirt, don’t you?) (See Paraphilias, sexual fetishes, normality, deviations and men vs women)

Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 22. Mud-walking and bodily fluids”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 21. What real bondage and self-bondage are.

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Another point. So, you are all dressed up, bound and gagged. Nice, eh? Agree, a good beginning. But imagine the situation when you can be quickly released at your wish at any moment. For example, not strict and not “timed” selfbondage or also not strict, not tight and “very safeworded” bondage.

Yes, it’s still a huge fun, you can wriggle around, moan in your gag, try to tighten or loosen ropes or push the plugs in or out… But at the first sight of tiredness, boredom or immediately after:”Children! Stop playing! Lunch time!” your bondage and latex (or lycra if you wish) outfit are miraculously undone. Don’t you feel that the orgasm was obviously faked, the weapons and armour were plastic stage props, the black caviar was dyed millet, and generally something was not right?

The actual or real bondage begins when Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 21. What real bondage and self-bondage are.”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 20. Bondage, self-bondage, trust and responsibility

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Another point. A very sensitive one. Can you trust your partner? Do you trust your partner? In such extreme sports as mountain climbing, diving, martial arts and bondage your life depends on your partner.

As you may already know, I do not like words like “top” and “bottom”, “master” and “slave” and especially “sado” and “ma[s|z]o”, because they assume inequality. I prefer “tori” and “uke” (see Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 17. B, (D), S&M and sport). In martial arts uke trusts tori that tori will treat uke with respect and control. Otherwise no training is possible. Both tori‘s and uke‘s fault might be lethal. A not well controlled blow may break a neck, a not correctly performed throw or fall may break a spine. Scary, isn’t it?

Unfortunately, lethal cases occur in the bondage scene too. From simple mistakes to ignoring the elementary safety rules. Two cases come to my mind. Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 20. Bondage, self-bondage, trust and responsibility”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 19. Fetish, bondage, dogmas and prejudice

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Another point. How often do you hear:

“How can you wear that? Normal men do not do that!”
“How can you do that? Normal people do not do that!”
“Bondage? It hurts! Normal people do not like that!”
“I know what BDSM is! It’s about hurting people, making them suffer and treat them as slaves!”

But if you ask “Have you ever tried that?”, most likely the answer will be “Of course not! Normal people do not do that!”. Prejudice hurts… Yes, there are cases with “the point of no return”, when you obviously should “not try this at home”:

Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 19. Fetish, bondage, dogmas and prejudice”