See all chapters and related articles here.

Another point. A very sensitive one. Can you trust your partner? Do you trust your partner? In such extreme sports as mountain climbing, diving, martial arts and bondage your life depends on your partner.

As you may already know, I do not like words like “top” and “bottom”, “master” and “slave” and especially “sado” and “ma[s|z]o”, because they assume inequality. I prefer “tori” and “uke” (see Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 17. B, (D), S&M and sport). In martial arts uke trusts tori that tori will treat uke with respect and control. Otherwise no training is possible. Both tori‘s and uke‘s fault might be lethal. A not well controlled blow may break a neck, a not correctly performed throw or fall may break a spine. Scary, isn’t it?

Unfortunately, lethal cases occur in the bondage scene too. From simple mistakes to ignoring the elementary safety rules. Two cases come to my mind.

A self-bondage vacuum bed session (with head out) led to squeezing the carotid artery with the collar of the top latex sheet. 10 seconds of pinching the artery down is enough to pass out. The poor guy did not stand a chance to survive. (Will post about this case later).

And another one. A man was tied up, plugged, gagged, placed in a wardrobe and forgotten about until next day. Two other guys (who offered the “bondage service”) were drunk and very surprised that he suffocated and died.

In bondage tori carries the heavy burden of responsibility for the uke. And uke trusts tori and leaves his or her fate in tori‘s hands. In self-bondage tori and uke is one person who is responsible for his or her family and friends.