Tag: Life

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 20. Bondage, self-bondage, trust and responsibility

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Another point. A very sensitive one. Can you trust your partner? Do you trust your partner? In such extreme sports as mountain climbing, diving, martial arts and bondage your life depends on your partner.

As you may already know, I do not like words like “top” and “bottom”, “master” and “slave” and especially “sado” and “ma[s|z]o”, because they assume inequality. I prefer “tori” and “uke” (see Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 17. B, (D), S&M and sport). In martial arts uke trusts tori that tori will treat uke with respect and control. Otherwise no training is possible. Both tori‘s and uke‘s fault might be lethal. A not well controlled blow may break a neck, a not correctly performed throw or fall may break a spine. Scary, isn’t it?

Unfortunately, lethal cases occur in the bondage scene too. From simple mistakes to ignoring the elementary safety rules. Two cases come to my mind. Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 20. Bondage, self-bondage, trust and responsibility”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 19. Fetish, bondage, dogmas and prejudice

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Another point. How often do you hear:

“How can you wear that? Normal men do not do that!”
“How can you do that? Normal people do not do that!”
“Bondage? It hurts! Normal people do not like that!”
“I know what BDSM is! It’s about hurting people, making them suffer and treat them as slaves!”

But if you ask “Have you ever tried that?”, most likely the answer will be “Of course not! Normal people do not do that!”. Prejudice hurts… Yes, there are cases with “the point of no return”, when you obviously should “not try this at home”:

Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 19. Fetish, bondage, dogmas and prejudice”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 17. B, (D), S&M and sport

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Another point. For some reason physical culture, physical education, physical training, or, simply put, gym classes are completely left out in BDSM literature. If I’m wrong, please give me a couple of examples. It would be interesting to know what they recommend. However, the importance of stamina, flexibility, strength or being fit cannot be overestimated.

Kaoru in manga “Nana and Kaoru” says: “In S&M relationships, S must be stronger, than M”. Actually, in the D&S relationships the physical strength plays a lesser role, than the strength of the spirit. I’m not sure if the translation is fully correct here. I thought that BDSM or S&M terms were borrowed from the West. Most likely, in the traditional Japanese bondage culture they use “tori” Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 17. B, (D), S&M and sport”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 16. Sissyboss

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There’s one good method to overcome the fear of public performances, speaking at a meeting or one-to-ones with your boss: just imagine them wearing only underwear. Here your imagination may vary (YIMV – a new acronym ;-): stockings, bra, pink suspenders, fishnets, shiny pantyhose with strings on top, etc. That greatly relieves the stress and brings a smile on your face (smile, it irritates everybody ;-).

The opposite is also true. Remember various real stories about upper managers visiting professional dominatrices? Where they’re forced to wear baby or feminine clothes, bound and gagged and/or flogged?

Yes, our bosses also need “the breathers”. Back to Why do we like bondage?

Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 16. Sissyboss”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 15. Kids and body awareness

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Another point. I’m not sure if it is correct, but I will use the term “body awareness”. There are several levels or layers of body awareness. From a toddler level:”Hey, I have a foot and I can take it in my mouth!” to a high level of advanced yoga practitioners, who can sit in a pool and suck the water inside their bowels.

This manga touches the sensual, erotic layer. Kids begin to investigate their body while still being in the womb, and naturally progress further, but as soon as they get to their genitalia come the parents with:”Do not touch THIS! IT is dirty”. Or something similar. Oh-oh… “Houston, we have a problem”.

Kids must learn how to deal with their own private parts and how to use them for pleasure (but without active help from adults!). One of the consequences of lacking this experience is shown in the manga. “The body betrays me!!!” How is this possible? Well, you ignored your own body for years, now it ignores you 😀

Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 15. Kids and body awareness”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 14. Having fun and men vs women again

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In short: who does and enjoys what? The manga shows us the ideal situation: the girl gets tied up and enjoys “the breathers”, attention and (to some extent) sexual pleasure. The boy enjoys the process of tying the girl up, the possibility to touch the girl and play with her a bit, the “general view”, the face expression and capturing the moments with a photo camera.

However, the real life (see Paraphilias, sexual fetishes, normality, deviations and men vs women) skews this ideal picture. Women like attention, not many women like bondage as it is without attracting someone else to their bound bodies. Men like fetish stuff and bondage and, like one popular bondage magazine used to say: “Men like to be tied up too”.

But did you see women who really enjoy tying men up?

Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 14. Having fun and men vs women again”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 13. How to keep your partner interested

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Another point. You managed to find a partner who seems to be interested in some of your fetishes. How to keep her interested? Now I’m deliberately saying “her” because women-fetishists are virtually non-existent. Yes, women do wear fetish clothes, and they may even get excited, but the roots of their excitement are different from men’s. See Paraphilias, sexual fetishes, normality, deviations and men vs women.

Most women want to be wanted, they want their men (you see? not every man!) to look at them, to be fascinated by them. This effect can be achieved by wearing fetish clothes, by playing role and bondage games. And men, if they want to keep their partners interested, should follow these rules. Tell your wives, girlfriends, lovers how beautiful they are, how gorgeous they look in latex, fur, stockings, whatever you like, how vulnerable, wanted, erotic they look while bound and gagged.

And you may be rewarded. By the way, saying nice and kind things are always nice and kind 😉

Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 13. How to keep your partner interested”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 12. Fetish, bondage and natural progress

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Another point. Do you remember the first time you put on thin nylon pantyhose?In my case it was instant erection. Or a one piece swimsuit? Instant erection again. A swimsuit with pantyhose? You guessed right. Then came more. Pantyhose on arms, head, bondage, vibrators, latex, plugs, bigger plugs, enema, etc.

As kids we begin to explore our body. It hurts here, it hurts there, but if your do this, this and that, it creates very pleasurable sensation. Some stop there, but some become more curious. Our appetite grows, we need more physical and mental stimulation.

Is it upward or downward spiral? Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 12. Fetish, bondage and natural progress”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 11. We, our fetishes and our partners

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Being free from the inner bondage and being open have several important side effects.

If everybody (or at least your partner, relatives, friends) knows about your “features” (it should not be “all” your fetishes, should it?), you have nothing to hide, you do not have to make up stories about found rubber slips or shiny pantyhose, you do not have to remember what you told and to whom about it, how to order new stuff “in plain brown paper” and how to get it delivered, you do not have to quickly change your clothes should someone unexpectedly return home.

It is really a great feeling. I can openly wear pantyhose and swimsuits with my kids around (see Family, friends, colleagues and fetish moments or Home together), my kids Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 11. We, our fetishes and our partners”

Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 10. Inner bondage and finding a partner

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Another point – having the “right” partner is crucial. It’s never an easy task, but what makes it more difficult is a couple of added ingredients: fetish and bondage.

“How do I tell her/him that I like … ?” When I was a kid I thought that I was a hopeless pervert. Hey, who can call a person normal if he likes to be tied and gagged in pantyhose and swimsuit? I could not imagine that I would ever tell that to anybody! But now quite a few people know about my “little secrets” and I suppose they do not think of me as of a danger to the society 😉

What really helps is Continue reading “Nana to Kaoru. Chapter 10. Inner bondage and finding a partner”