We, our fetishes and our partners

3xl and Latex KittyYes, another cry for help. See this post. What can you do if your partner is indifferent for your fetishes you can’t live without? In some cases simple rules (see this thread) can help. Sometimes…

Here’s some real cases.

Patrick Andraste from RubberBound.

Take the Kink Spectrum test and compare the result with Patrick’s. (Funny that he’s just published his list of fetishes he does not “understand”) Then ask your partner to take the test. It sounds funny or stupid, but as I mentioned earlier the test makes, for example, me and Patrick quite incompatible. He’s way too “advanced”, and I in comparison look like an innocent 12yo girl.

But still, these things happen even within the same group of interests: Patrick broke up with Sarah.

Another story. 3xl from LustLoveLatex. Let’s see:

Sep 2002:

I have started this weblog for several reasons. But the biggest reason is my wish to share my fetish for rubber with my wife, whom I love very deeply and has been with for a quite a long time. But at this time I just don’t have the guts to let her in on my big secret. So my goal is to learn more about myself and my fetish for latex rubber so I can gain some self esteem and speak freely about the subject to my wife.

In Sep 2005 3xl wrote an excellent tutorial on how to tell your partner about your fetishes. But despite all of his efforts:

Jan 2007:

I took the red pill this week… When I asked my wife for a divorce.

I have been thinking so hard about this for so long! I want to be loved for what and who I am, feel desired and appreciated and be able live out my latex fetish on a daily basis!

My wife would never be able to fulfil my needs. She wouldn’t be the one who want to help me slide into a latex sleep sac when I’m 65. She would never put her heart into it. I finally understand that now.

There is no good way to end a relationship there lasted half a lifetime. I feel like the biggest scumbag on the planet! But at the same time I know this is right for me. I have to follow my heart.

July 2009:

latex weddingAt the time of posting, 3XL and Latex Kitty are now officially married!
. . .

3XL started his latex blog in 2002 out of a growing sense of frustration that his wife would never accept or understand his fetish. The blog quickly took off when it struck a chord with many latex fetishists who experienced the same situation in their own lives.

While 3XL evolved as a fetishist, his wife at the time was not able to accept his fetish or his inner cravings, in spite of the sacrifices that he made in the marriage. In the end, after a lot of soul searching, he made the painful decision to end the marriage.

Luckily for him, a latex soulmate was not far away from entering his life, when he met Latex Kitty. Kitty gave up her studies in Berlin to move in with 3XL and start a new life here in Denmark, and in October 2008, she accepted 3XL’s proposal of marriage!

You can get a helluva advices on the Internet on “How to…”. However it’s always up to you, your wishes, your desires, your list of priorities, your ability to speak to each other and understand each other. One recipe may work for one but kill another. You never know if you will want to be gagged, plugged, bound and put in a latex sack when you are 65. Will you prefer a psychological comfort and full understanding? Or active sexual life for the time being? (these two things are rarely compatible and mostly mutually exclusive).

You never know what you are going to lose or find. Unless you do know what you want, have proper intentions and follow the Warrior Path. But in this case most likely you would not care about such things as latex and pantyhose…

6 thoughts on “We, our fetishes and our partners”

  1. You should check out my new Fiance’, http://Miss-Sabine.com

    She likes latex even more than I do!

    although she is strictly a sub and does not care for bondage so much.

    Her response was to have me find other girls to top me. The funny thing is it has been difficult to find other girls who are not “Professionals”. It seems I am too advanced for them and I scare them. So what has happened is I have ended up doing pro-sub work for a few local dominatrixes.

    Essentially, I get paid by dominatrixes to let them chain me down and hurt me. Or rather, the client pays us to watch them chain me down and hurt me.

    So Sabine and I share the latex and photography kinks, and I hold her down and give her a good beating now and then. When I need my bondage fix I get ahold of one of my friends and they scratch that itch for me.

  2. Patrick Andraste wrote:

    You should check out my new Fiance’,

    Already have 😉

    Patrick Andraste wrote:

    She likes latex even more than I do!

    I bet the reasons are different. As I mentioned here women wear fetish stuff “mostly” because they attract more attention. Remove the public and the naughty stuff would disappear.

    Patrick Andraste wrote:

    It seems I am too advanced for them and I scare them.

    My point exactly 😉 But since you “do not understand crossdressing” there is some space to grow ;-D

    Patrick Andraste wrote:

    Essentially, I get paid by dominatrixes to let them chain me down and hurt me.

    And this is what NylonSlave is going to do, since there’s no other options left.

    I discussed that with my wife. The problem is always within the person him- or herself. That person must be frank to himself (OK, for simplicity let’s assume he’s a man), must allow himself be himself, and accept his features, his strong and weak links.

    There will be no surprises for partners, because they will know way before they start to live together. If “fetishes” are integral and natural part of ones life, and the person is open about them, and also open to the “features” of others there will be no problems. What’s more important, there will be more chance that you’ll find an understanding and willingly participating partner.

    Funny, all my girlfriends and lots of friends know about my “not so secret” life. Because I never make it a secret. I do not shout about it, though. It just happens 😉 In jokes, comments, silent and loud appreciations, etc.

  3. the reasons are different, and I read your post you refer to and completely agree. Women wear latex because it makes them more attractive, but they still want to be the object of your desire, not the latex.

    I think the big difference between other people and me is that other people pay the dominatrix, whereas i get paid by the dominatrix.

    my girlfriend has been indulging more of my kinks as of late though, and starting to get into them more and more.

    I have another friend that tells me I have the uncanny ability to turn vanilla people kinky.

  4. I was introduced to the fetish lifestyle before we were married almost 19 years ago by my wife. haven’t wanterd to stop since and we enjoy pretty much everything.I think I’m very lucky that I don’t have to convince anyone of the ways to enjoy anything.

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