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Poll: Based on your own experience - do we acquire or discover existing fetishes? Please comment!
You do not have permission to vote in this poll.
We discover the "preprogrammed" fetishes
31 44.93%
We acquire new fetishes
37 53.62%
1 1.45%
Total 69 vote(s) 100%
* You voted for this item. [Show Results]

Why do we have fetishes? Kinks? Traits?
(26 Dec 2019, 03:37 )Like Ra Wrote: A fetish in "my definition" is a stable repeatable stimulus to get dopamine.

Well stated, Ra.  I was actually thinking the same thing about fetishes but hadn't taken the time to type my thoughts out as you did.

I've also been trying to think of why I ended up with the fetishes I have.  I suppose the two main ones are bondage and latex, although the latex fetish is really a fetish for any shiny material, latex just happens to be the best for me.  When I was a kid, younger than 10, I lived with my dad.  Every now and then when I was sitting in the floor watching cartoons or whatever, he would randomly tackle me and start tickling me.  Of course was laughing my ass off uncontrollably.  This sort of play evolved into him holding my hands together above my head while he tickled or "threatened" to tickle my stomach, which was somehow almost worse than the actual tickling.  I assume that with all the fun and laughing, a ton of dopamine was released, cementing into my brain a fetish for being restrained.  I know there are people with tickling fetishes so I guess I should feel lucky I didn't end up with that as a fetish.  Self-bondage is so much easier to practice than self-tickling.

My latex fetish has been harder to figure out but I think I might have a clue where that came from.  Again, when I was a kid in the 80's, we had these halloween costumes made out of plastic.  The only thing I can figure is that I had a lot of fun at halloween while wearing the plastic costume.  Maybe it was from eating the candy and wearing the costume?  Doesn't sugar also cause dopamine to release?
As an interesting aside, My shiny clothing fetish is for lycra, Latex/rubber just doesn't do it for me.
Although polished latex looks amazing, the smell is associated with repairing punctures in my bike tyres in heavy, cold rain and this just overrides every attempt I have made to embrace the world of Rubber.
(PVC just isn't stretchy enough either)
Like Ra Wrote:
princesitanatty Wrote:I think the poll should allow to select both options.
It does allow to select both options 😊 For example, I chose both.

princesitanatty Wrote:You can find theories of innate desires in books and journals of evolutionary psychology and ethology, and of acquired desires in books and journals of learning research.
You listed pretty much all possible sources 😁 Any more specific links?
I didn't know it allowed both options, and now it doesn't allow to change the vote.
I think pavlovian conditioning theory can account for most cases of fetishes. More general traits are explained by evolution theory.
(26 Dec 2019, 17:49 )princesitanatty Wrote: More general traits are explained by evolution theory.
Bondage? Latex? Pantyhose? Swimsuits? High-heels? OK, high-heels can be Pavlovian in my case. But the first four have been with me since I remember myself.
Like Ra Wrote:
princesitanatty Wrote:More general traits are explained by evolution theory.
Bondage? Latex? Pantyhose? Swimsuits? High-heels? OK, high-heels can be Pavlovian in my case. But the first four have been with me since I remember myself.
All of them are involved in pavlovian conditioning: you've seen women (an erotic stimulus) using high-heels, swimsuits, pantyhoses, latex, or bondaged. Also, those implements increase some innate erotic stimuli: high heels increase the lumbar curvature, swimsuits and latex and pantyhoses are smooth and shaped with feminine forms, bondage increases the D-S relation.
(27 Dec 2019, 19:46 )princesitanatty Wrote: You've seen women (an erotic stimulus) using high-heels, swimsuits, pantyhoses, latex, or bondaged.
When I was 3-5 yo? Definitely not! 😁
(27 Dec 2019, 20:48 )Like Ra Wrote:
(27 Dec 2019, 19:46 )princesitanatty Wrote: You've seen women (an erotic stimulus) using high-heels, swimsuits, pantyhoses, latex, or bondaged.
When I was 3-5 yo? Definitely not! 😁
Why not? Pavlovian conditioning happens since before birth.
I used to hold to the preprogrammed opinion, but now ban towards acquired.

As a young kid, I used to play with gloves. Later, I was automatically drawn to latex gloves for masturbation. I discovered I liked the latex and masturbating into a latex condom was more exciting than masturbation alone. I turned to fantasizing about latex catsuits etc... long before I knew such things existed.

As mentioned in my intro: my first wet dream was full on maledom bondage at a time I knew nothing about sex or bondage. I assumed this and the latex was an awakening of something genetically or developmentally in me. What changed my mind was this: as a kid read marvel comic books, but apartheid sanctions ended that... Then years later I walk into a comic book store in the US and browsed the comics, and it jumped out at me how all the female (and some male) characters were wearing skin tight latex like suits and gloves. It suddenly occurred to me: these comics had affected my sexuality long before I knew anything about sexuality.

Anyone else has similar experience?

I find this topic really interesting as I struggle to integrate my prudish values with my sexuality.
Always curious SLL
Interrests: orchids, tropical fish, sociobiology, theology,  anatomy, latex and maybe BDSM.
Linking What to do with fetishes?
My main fetish: Lycra one piece swimsuits.
I think I can track down the root cause of this.

Well, during many other kids,
I loved playing with action figures, many of them decked out in armor.

At a certain young age I got to music/basic dance classes. They were mixed.
The girls in the group always wore leotards.

The funny thing is; I thought to myself "Ha, those are shitty outfits because that thin material doesn't provide ANY armor protection.

A few years later and school swimming classes began.
Before my little group was even allowed to enter the water we had to practice the swimming moves on the "dry"; basically on a
stretching bench aside the pool.

So this was during the early 80's and everyone wore 'speedos'. Somehow my mom got me speedos without inner lining.
Of course, during the dry practice this meant
I could definitely notice a pleasant feeling from the slick Lycra friction.

On top of that, we also had one extra curricular swimming class at a private instructor's pool. Basically, she gave swimming lessons one kid at a time and so with the rest of some kids I had to wait my turn practicing floatation at the edge of the pool.
This pool happened to have water circulation blowers at the edge of that pool. So while I would hang over the edge of the pool, I noticed the water blower exactly at crotch height. And oh boy the strength of that water blower was strong, right onto my silky speedos.

I reckon those experiences were the seeds of my fetish. Of course, during the 80's I would come across those postorder mail catalogs; thick books full of clothes to order.
Yeah, the lingerie and swimwear pages drew my attention.
I wondered how girls experience those swimsuits since I was fully aware they were made out of the same Lycra material. However, it was decades later until I actually got the courage to buy women's swimsuits - yeah the wonder and yearning to experience those lasted for years.

Anyway, throughout the following childhood
years I developed an intense penchant for speedos and I would always remove the liner to ensure contact to that heavenly silky fabric.
In doing so I also discovered that Lycra comes in a whole lot of different grades of quality - resulting in me becoming quite picky.

I became aware and able to identify the aspects of it which gave me pleasure;
Which is basically a holy trinity of sorts;
- sheen, as the visual stimulus (that particular 80's Lycra sheen)
- slippery smooth feeling, as the tactile aspect of it.
- and last but not least, the stretchy soft and pliable structure of it; because unlike actual satin or cotton, the Lycra was tight but not restrictive. The stretch made sure the sensitive parts were never squeezed painfully.

On a more "fabric-technical" level, I learned that my preference generally leans towards Lycra garments which have the "nap" of the fabric from side to side, rather than length wise from top to bottom.
The nap is basically miniscule thread ridges and if you rub across, this will feel less smooth than stroking alongside the nap direction - unless it's really high density threaded Lycra such as Leohex or Speedo S2000.

Of course, I also tried out Lycra variants such as gloss coated or Cire, but neither of those do it for me because although they are very shiny, they lack the crucial silky soft and smooth feeling.

So far, my favorite suit brands are;
- custom made Agonswim suits with the nap in horizontal direction. Also, these suits feature inner lining made of the same Lycra, so this is how I came to appreciate Lycra inner lining.
- Arena Nux, an old favorite...unfortunately discontinued.
- And since this week I got my first Leohex suits; obviously, you guys know they're great.

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