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Poll: Based on your own experience - do we acquire or discover existing fetishes? Please comment!
You do not have permission to vote in this poll.
We discover the "preprogrammed" fetishes
44.93%
31 44.93%
We acquire new fetishes
53.62%
37 53.62%
Other
1.45%
1 1.45%
Total 69 vote(s) 100%
* You voted for this item. [Show Results]

Why do we have fetishes? Kinks? Traits?
#51
Sometimes I wonder if us fetishists are just dopamine addicts....
Reply
#52
(28 Dec 2022, 09:20 )MIWSTIUS Wrote: Sometimes I wonder if us fetishists are just dopamine addicts....
My point exactly. The question is - why some things increase the dopamine level, and some do not.
Reply
#53
(28 Dec 2022, 12:54 )Like Ra Wrote:
(28 Dec 2022, 09:20 )MIWSTIUS Wrote: Sometimes I wonder if us fetishists are just dopamine addicts....
My point exactly. The question is - why some things increase the dopamine level, and some do not.

Well, I mean sexually generated dopamine addiction. 
I'm pretty sure my wife's dopamine levels increase to comparable heights from food indulgence - Hence, she doesn't have a fetish connection to her dopamine levels.

I remember watching some of those anti-masturbation videos....and I usually dismiss them pretty easily - but at the same time, sometimes it feels like the fetish aspect is purely just a form of dopamine addiction; which in turn makes it (the fetish) sound a bit shallow and sad. Or am I overthinking matters?
Reply
#54
(28 Dec 2022, 13:24 )MIWSTIUS Wrote: I'm pretty sure my wife's dopamine levels increase to comparable heights from food indulgence - Hence, she doesn't have a fetish connection to her dopamine levels.
Following my definition of "fetish", it's called food fetishism.

(28 Dec 2022, 13:24 )MIWSTIUS Wrote: the fetish aspect is purely just a form of dopamine addiction
Again - yes. And again, the question is: why some kinky things increase the dopamine level, and some do not.
Reply
#55
Been a while since anyone posted on this thread lol

Anyway, my personal experiences lead me think that the answer is probably "discovering preprogrammed fetishes", although I wouldn't be surprised if it's possible to acquire complete new fetishes.

Why?

Simple.

I had a hormone imbalance while growing up, a very very early pre-puberty. The doctors apparently told my mom I had started pre-puberty at around 3. What that means is that I got acne and horny a lot earlier than most people, I am convinced my earliest memories of horny occurred when I was around 7 but I might be mistaken. No way to know for sure. Note here that I also received fuck all sex ed. Literally nothing. My personal experience with being horny while also being really young is why I will always advocate for proper sex ed.

I remember humping a little bunny plushy I had. I didn't know what I was doing or what it meant, I just knew it helped me fall asleep and that it felt good. And I also fantasized things to help me along. Again, I didn't know what I was doing or why, I just knew it worked so I did it. I didn't question it.

Just to be clear, I was doing that at around 7-8. I had not been exposed to anything sexual before. I had not seen any porn. I had not seen my parents haven't sex. NOTHING. My family has also always been atheistic. So I also didn't have any negative connotations about masturbation. I was a complete blank slate. I knew nothing about sex and masturbation. I just did what felt good.

And what did my blank slate of a mind come up with as fantasies? BDSM: Bondage. Humiliation, my bullies stripping me naked and making fun of me. Being forced to do things against my will. Being "tortured". I remember I saw in a gameshow people that were punished for losing by being tied to a wheel and rolled around until they were dizzy, or where the wheel was static and there was a pool of water underneath and the wheel was spun until their head was submerged and kept there. I immediately started incorporating things like that in my fantasies.

So yeah. I know for a fact these fetishes existed within me from the very beginning.

Also I saw another post here, this one https://www.likera.com/forum/mybb/Thread...4#pid68734 where that person described "seeing naked adults having sex. having sex can be disturbing at this age"

Can I just say, that was NOT my experience. I was far from disturbed when I finally discovered porn at around 10-12.
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