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Why do we have fetishes? Kinks? Traits? - Printable Version

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Why do we have fetishes? Kinks? Traits? - Like Ra - 16 Dec 2019

I promised many times to create a series of blog posts about fetishes, and why we might have them. This is the first step 😊

Related blog posts and forum threads:

What is β€œfetish”?
What to do with fetishes?


RE: Why do we have fetishes? - Will90MeeG - 16 Dec 2019

Boy o boy - how many times have I asked myself this question (mostly after climax, still in the guilt and nausea stage!).

If it is because of a life experience, I do not remember what it could have been. But I have been this way for as long as I have memories. Since mid childhood - easily 6 or 7 years old - Tying up games and images - Cheap detective novel covers, comic books, The Perils of Penelope Pitstop, Emma Peel, Barbarella etc.

Often at school we used to play escapology games in the playground (I do remember one of my teachers - a lovely young lady FWIW - coming up to us and threatening to tie me up to see if I liked it - I didn't take her up on the offer - maybe that was a strengthening trigger?).

It seems, looking back on it, that I was immersed in a world where spicy images of peril, bondage and scantily clad ladies were all about me in my formative years (much more than is readily seen in today's world-with the exception of many pop videos) - also the fashions of the adults in the late sixties and early seventies were short skirts and boots of varying lengths and sheens. So do I represent the logical influence of the popular culture I grew up in? My friends all lived through the same times and potential influences, but are not as 'hooked' as I am.

I have come to the conclusion that we are as we are, it's just an additional form of sexual arousal, a bit like a Blu-ray extra, same film but even more. The desires of my fetish have not really changed at all since those early days (tight clothes, bondage, boots, pantyhose, in no particular order) and I suppose these urges will stay with me no matter what age I achieve.

Is it a negative thing? - not for me. I don't impose my will on anybody. I am not likely to hurt anyone or anything. In fact most of the people I have met who share this in whole or part, are lovely people who are well adjusted and outwardly 'normal'.

I hope we can all carry on like this and not be 'demonized' by the tabloids or the Nanny State.


RE: Why do we have fetishes? - Like Ra - 16 Dec 2019

So far I can say, that some fetishes are "built-in" and some are acquired. You are born with the former, but who knows about the latter, they may have also been "built-in", but are more "dormant", and need "just a bit more attention".


RE: Why do we have fetishes? - Atsta - 16 Dec 2019

I hate topics like this

They make me sit back, and then I go into thinking "mode"
I plan a 2 page essay
and in the end I say nothing


RE: Why do we have fetishes? - Like Ra - 17 Dec 2019

Here's the logical chain.

In order for mankind to survive, humans should "do something" (work, improve, evolve, eat)
All we do is compensation (we eat, because we are hungry, we work because we need money, an artist creates, because he would explode otherwise)
The compensation is needed to get ourself back to balance.
If we are in balance, we do not do anything.
To unbalance humans, the desires "were created".
A fetish is an acute form of desires.

See also https://www.likera.com/forum/mybb/Thread-Does-free-will-exist-Do-we-have-a-choice


RE: Why do we have fetishes? Kinks? - princesitanatty - 17 Dec 2019

I think feminization might be a fetish or kink, but it might be something broader and different: personality traits, gender identity, sexual and non-sexual preferences.


RE: Why do we have fetishes? Kinks? Traits? - Like Ra - 17 Dec 2019

Following @princesitanatty's corrections and requests, I've renamed the thread for the 3d time 😁 (Not that I disagree much πŸ˜‰ )

(17 Dec 2019, 00:50 )princesitanatty Wrote: traits
- is the widest term here.

(17 Dec 2019, 00:50 )princesitanatty Wrote: personality traits, gender identity, sexual and non-sexual preferences.
Different ways of creating disbalances.


RE: Why do we have fetishes? Kinks? - princesitanatty - 17 Dec 2019

I think some desires are innate and are caused by evolution, and they are expanded and changed by culture and individual learning. For example, female waist-hip ratios are innately desirable for many people, corsets are cultural artifacts linked to that trait, so they easily become sexual fetishes for some people.
I think we still lack knowledge of many innate and acquired mechanisms of desire. But there are some theories and studies aeady.


RE: Why do we have fetishes? Kinks? Traits? - Like Ra - 24 Dec 2019

(17 Dec 2019, 00:59 )princesitanatty Wrote: I think we still lack knowledge of many innate and acquired mechanisms of desire. But there are some theories and studies aeady.
Have you seen any? Any links?


RE: Why do we have fetishes? Kinks? Traits? - Like Ra - 24 Dec 2019

I've just added a poll. From my own experience, I recall both "built-in" and, what I think, "acquired". I remember the events after which I might acquire new fetishes (e.g. "blue" or "pink"), but ... who knows ... Latex, bondage, one-piece swimsuit, and nylon pantyhose fetishes are "built-in" and the strongest. I hate cotton/wool pantyhose since I remember myself. Not sure about high heels.