What to do with fetishes?

[Like Ra]

In this thread we defined what a fetish is: https://www.likera.com/forum/mybb/showth...p?tid=2299
In this thread we discussed why we have/get fetishes: https://www.likera.com/forum/mybb/showth...p?tid=2729

Next question: what to do with them?

Let's divide all fetishes in 3 groups:

Legal, harmless. Examples: fetish clothing, collecting stamps, delicate food
Legal, harmful. Examples: degrading hypnosis, heavy BDSM, alcohol, soft drugs (in some countries)
Illegal. Examples: necrophilia, paedophilia, bestiality, hard drugs, snuff

I could come up with 7 variants:

Indulge - just go on with it
Suppress - try to forget, that you have this fetish
Treat - seek professional advice (in the western science sense)
Go virtual - do nothing in the real world, and switch to drawings, animations, virtual reality, games.
Accept, dissolve - work with your traits using inner engineering, meditations, yoga
Don't know
Other

Did I miss anything? Let me know and I'll add new options and restart the poll. The poll is anonymous, but feel free to explain your choice below.

The whole list for easy copy&pasting/quoting:

Legal, harmless: indulge
Legal, harmless: suppress
Legal, harmless: treat
Legal, harmless: go virtual
Legal, harmless: accept, dissolve
Legal, harmless: don't know
Legal, harmless: other
Legal, harmful: indulge
Legal, harmful: suppress
Legal, harmful: treat
Legal, harmful: go virtual
Legal, harmful: accept, dissolve
Legal, harmful: don't know
Legal, harmful: other
Illegal: indulge
Illegal: suppress
Illegal: treat
Illegal: go virtual
Illegal: accept, dissolve
Illegal: don't know
Illegal: other

[Like Ra]

This is what I chose:

Legal, harmless: don't know - I really don't know... From "the eastern point of view", there should be nothing "owing us", we should avoid compulsiveness, and it should be "accept and dissolve". But what if this is exactly what we good for? And this is out ikigai (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikigai)? So, I don't know...

Legal, harmful: go virtual
Legal, harmful: accept, dissolve
Illegal: go virtual

If something "hurts" (physically or mentally) - it's a signal, "a road sign", it's a marker. Something wants our attention, something is wrong, something needs to be dealt with. Computer games reduced street violence dramatically. I think this is the way to go. Ultimately we should understand, why we want to hurt ourselves or others. What makes accept and dissolve a logical follow up.

Suppression by itself never works. It must be accompanied with something else, otherwise it will detonate in a serious explosion.

Treatments? NLP, hypnosis, regressions might help. Chemistry? I don't think so. But are you comfortable of telling others about your (secret?) desires?

[no smile]

I would add accept,dissolve for all the harmful and illegal ones.  Going virtual is part of accept I think.

There are a LOT of people knowing they have something illegal as fetish.  They perfectly know it can't be treated.  Sometimes, they prefer accept it and deal with it rather than going virtual.  (I remember a conversation with a very good sexologue in Belgium which dealt with paedophilia, saying that there is much more people trying to deal with it than people getting it in their world.)

For the legal harmful, I'm a bit lost on where the cursor is.  There is some people in harmful heavy BDSM going very well because they now how do do it.  But this is dangerous. But I don't see what's alcohol and drugs doing here?

For the legal harmless, I would say the problem is people wanting to tell you what's good for them to feel good.  It's about being open to other's fantasy without judging because it's a matter of taste.  Some for me it's definitely an Indugle.

The problem is when could one begin to judge about something really worrying like abuse.

[Like Ra]

For the legal harmful, I'm a bit lost on where the cursor is.  There is some people in harmful heavy BDSM going very well because they now how do do it.  

Anything innocent can become harmful. For example, being exposed naked or in provocative clothes can be harmful for reputation. Or when addictions interfere with and derail the usual life.

But I don't see what's alcohol and drugs doing here?

They fall under my definition of fetish:

I define fetish as a stimulus, which stably and repeatably gives you pleasure. So, food, collecting something, drugs, even excessive sleeping are all fetishes in this sense.

remember a conversation with a very good sexologue in Belgium which dealt with paedophilia, saying that there is much more people trying to deal with it than people getting it in their world.

Paedophilia is a very complex and interesting subject on its own. Deserves a separate thread. Some time ago my wife read (and shared with me) some related discussions of clinical psychologists, then I stumbled upon some articles. There are many layers in this problem.

[no smile]

Anything innocent can become harmful. For example, being exposed naked or in provocative clothes can be harmful for reputation. Or when addictions interfere with and derail the usual life.

Ok, if you take it that way, there is a lot going with it.  Because even very simple rope bondage or handcuff can be harmful...  Or if you get stuck and have to call someone external. And I believe that with such definition, any fetish can be harmful to reputation (think about the lonely stamp collector who can't get social because he just think about stamps)...

They fall under my definition of fetish:

I define fetish as a stimulus, which stably and repeatably gives you pleasure. So, food, collecting something, drugs, even excessive sleeping are all fetishes in this sense.

OK, I did not read first it but makes sense. 

Paedophilia is a very complex and interesting subject on its own. Deserves a separate thread. Some time ago my wife read (and shared with me) some related discussions of clinical psychologists, then I stumbled upon some articles. There are many layers in this problem.

Yeah, I know a bit about it.

[Like Ra]

Ok, if you take it that way, there is a lot going with it.  Because even very simple rope bondage or handcuff can be harmful...  Or if you get stuck and have to call someone external. And I believe that with such definition, any fetish can be harmful to reputation (think about the lonely stamp collector who can't get social because he just think about stamps)...

Yes, but science is about classifications and generalizations, so if we want to classify the risks, we have to put the threshold somewhere. (see https://www.likera.com/forum/mybb/Thread...1#pid42471) Let's say "relatively low risk" and "relatively high risk" 😊

[princesitanatty]

Sometimes it is possible to convert them from harmful to harmless, and from ilegal to legal.

[princesitanatty]

Does the eastern point of view adopt such a prescriptive and negative stance toward harmless fetishes? I thought it was a position that promoted acceptance, and fetishes might be valuable in several senses.

[Like Ra]

Does the eastern point of view adopt such a prescriptive and negative stance toward harmless fetishes?

At least in Japan - quite the contrary.

[Like Ra]

Sometimes it is possible to convert them from harmful to harmless, and from illegal to legal.

Absolutely! Society changes. Compare the moral of now with, say, ancient Greece... 😋

DSM says, that if the fetish does not bother the person too much, there is no problem. So, we can consider it "harmless" (Legality is implied). And virtually anything can be harmful if "the idea" becomes too obsessive.