Partners involvement in your fetish and how to tell others

[B1u3]

I told both my girlfriends about my secrets, but to different times.

With the first one I was together for 9 months, but long ago, and there was no talking about that. We stayed over the years in loose contact, I made some hint some years ago, but not fully talking about everything. that came lateron, last year. But this was in a normal friendship, and the idea appealed to her. But she is married since a few years, not really happy, but I think its "safe" for her, you know, how it goes. So now we lost contact completely and thats it.

The second one is like Stoned's wife, clearly not a giver as well, besides of no empathy. I told her pretty soon after the start of our relationsship, we tried a bit together, but she didn't get it. After five and a half years I finally ended the relationship, partly due to this fact, she couldn't really cope with it. But sure, there have been lots of other reasons as well. Her personality in general was not very positive, in my thinking, focused on her own and to her own goals. Just searching something, who fucks her sometimes and pays her future dreams like kids and so on. But finally this is not me.

[Stoned]

If only I could find that old drawing of exactly that - an ashamed guy wearind a plaid skirt, lifting it with his boner, and some obviously dominant woman sitting on the bed watching him. I know I had it. Does anybody have it?

Sounds familiar... Have you checked in this thread: http://www.likera.com/forum/mybb/Thread-...fetish-art ?

Ty Ra, yes, I checked that thread (twice). I think it is one of the best on your site, but I did not find the particular image or a similar one. Maybe I accidentlx skipped it...

[Like Ra]

Madjacks' (he-he, not our Madjack, no) pantyhose story:

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories...se/2753843

[Marcus]

Once or twice I've suggested something new and she's reacted badly (not throwning me out of the house badly, but surprisingly 'anti' the suggestion) - so I'm very reluctant to push things further.

Hmmm... timing is everything... Be sensitive to your partners mood and life pressures. If you try "Hi honey I'm home and could you put me in scary kinky bondage after dinner !" it will probably get a no.
The trick with new things is they need to involve the partners interest as well... so talk lots... understand each other.

I think that if you're lucky enough to have a partner who loves you as you love them then sometimes it might just be better to enjoy the relationship as it is, rather then go for a utopia that may not exist.

I think the utopia is where you share the part of you that includes the fetish. So it should flow naturally as the relationship grows but it does require effort and luck... If someone loves you then that does include your kinks (for better or for worse rings a bell).
I've asked my wife if she would prefer me without the Lycra and bondage. She said "No cos it's part of you"

[Tinker D]

Hey Ra,
Do remember that guy that told his best friend about his fetish and his friend freaked out? Where was that thread again? I can't seem to locate it.

[Like Ra]

Can this be a solution?

Lets Experiment! is an interactive sex questionnaire for couples that helps safely uncover unspoken fantasies or surface new desires. Both you and your partner answer the questionnaire separately, indicating the activities you want to try and, optionally, selecting how interested you are in that activity. You can also enter your own questions to be answered and the question will be presented to your partner no differently than the others. Once you and your partner answer all the questions about various sexual desires and fantasies, you're shown only the sexual activities in which you are both interested.

https://letsexperiment.xyz/index.php

[Highinheels66]

I m very fortunate.  She’s all the way in. I just told the truth from day one.  She was all for it

Just tell the truth. Come out with it. You’ll be surprised how many women are into it. I know because I hid it for 13 years from my ex wife and when I told her after we were divorced, she couldn’t believe I held it back. She would have been fine.  And as your significant other, love of your life, they are supposed to accept you and understand.  I learned the hard way. Now I just throw it out there. And I not one woman I dated was turned off.  Tell the truth , be yourself.

[MIWSTIUS]

Yeah, come clean during early stages of a relationship. 

The way I did it was sending my then future wife a pic of 
myself where a tiny bit (bit of the shoulder strap) of the onepiece swimsuit I wore, was visible - but very eye catching due it being the only shiny thing in frame.

I remember the threads & stories at the Dutch "mannen in badpak" forums.
So many of those guys there who kept their swimsuit wearing, a secret from their spouse for decades! 
And then to read the follow up stories of entire relationship meltdowns, guilt trips and/or (forced) purges.

Haha, so sad/pathetic in a way because we advised them plenty of times to just come clean early on.
But yeah, they just kept at it with the whole secrecy routines like hiding entire stashes of swimsuits in their car or some
box in the attic...and then they find themselves having to go to lengths to make sure they don't get caught etc. LOL.

[Michael]

Dating for about 8y, married for 5y and still didn tell wife about my hypnosis / girls onepieces swimsuits / wristwatch fetishes.
Still waiting for good time to tell her, but also have fear from it.  Im afraid that i will look like weirdo or sicko to her. One time, i wanted to show her some hypnosis / erotic hypnosis video and she told me that ppl there looks like drugged and weird. Definitive not her taste. I played it that i just discovered it and its new to me as to her.

But she might suspect about my girls swimsuit fetish, because we had sex numerous times where she wore her swimsuit and I bought her few others just for that thing. Bud the doesnt know about me that Im wearing girls one and love to be hypnotized while wearing it to obey and do even erotic things.

Maybe I could tell her one time...

[Highinheels66]

Dating for about 8y, married for 5y and still didn tell wife about my hypnosis / girls onepieces swimsuits / wristwatch fetishes.
Still waiting for good time to tell her, but also have fear from it.  Im afraid that i will look like weirdo or sicko to her. One time, i wanted to show her some hypnosis / erotic hypnosis video and she told me that ppl there looks like drugged and weird. Definitive not her taste. I played it that i just discovered it and its new to me as to her.

But she might suspect about my girls swimsuit fetish, because we had sex numerous times where she wore her swimsuit and I bought her few others just for that thing. Bud the doesnt know about me that Im wearing girls one and love to be hypnotized while wearing it to obey and do even erotic things.

Maybe I could tell her one time...

I hope you can tell her..  but at the same time.. it’s exciting to have a dirty little secret.