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Partners involvement in your fetish and how to tell others
I told both my girlfriends about my secrets, but to different times.

With the first one I was together for 9 months, but long ago, and there was no talking about that. We stayed over the years in loose contact, I made some hint some years ago, but not fully talking about everything. that came lateron, last year. But this was in a normal friendship, and the idea appealed to her. But she is married since a few years, not really happy, but I think its "safe" for her, you know, how it goes. So now we lost contact completely and thats it.

The second one is like Stoned's wife, clearly not a giver as well, besides of no empathy. I told her pretty soon after the start of our relationsship, we tried a bit together, but she didn't get it. After five and a half years I finally ended the relationship, partly due to this fact, she couldn't really cope with it. But sure, there have been lots of other reasons as well. Her personality in general was not very positive, in my thinking, focused on her own and to her own goals. Just searching something, who fucks her sometimes and pays her future dreams like kids and so on. But finally this is not me.
(26 Dec 2013, 04:04 )Like Ra Wrote:
(26 Dec 2013, 02:47 )Stoned Wrote: If only I could find that old drawing of exactly that - an ashamed guy wearind a plaid skirt, lifting it with his boner, and some obviously dominant woman sitting on the bed watching him. I know I had it. Does anybody have it?
Sounds familiar... Have you checked in this thread: ?

Ty Ra, yes, I checked that thread (twice). I think it is one of the best on your site, but I did not find the particular image or a similar one. Maybe I accidentlx skipped it...
Madjacks' (he-he, not our Madjack, no) pantyhose story:
(30 Mar 2009, 17:29 )madjack Wrote: Once or twice I've suggested something new and she's reacted badly (not throwning me out of the house badly, but surprisingly 'anti' the suggestion) - so I'm very reluctant to push things further.
Hmmm... timing is everything... Be sensitive to your partners mood and life pressures. If you try "Hi honey I'm home and could you put me in scary kinky bondage after dinner !" it will probably get a no.
The trick with new things is they need to involve the partners interest as well... so talk lots... understand each other.

(30 Mar 2009, 17:29 )madjack Wrote: I think that if you're lucky enough to have a partner who loves you as you love them then sometimes it might just be better to enjoy the relationship as it is, rather then go for a utopia that may not exist.
I think the utopia is where you share the part of you that includes the fetish. So it should flow naturally as the relationship grows but it does require effort and luck... If someone loves you then that does include your kinks (for better or for worse rings a bell).
I've asked my wife if she would prefer me without the Lycra and bondage. She said "No cos it's part of you"
Hey Ra,
Do remember that guy that told his best friend about his fetish and his friend freaked out? Where was that thread again? I can't seem to locate it.
Can this be a solution?

Quote:Lets Experiment! is an interactive sex questionnaire for couples that helps safely uncover unspoken fantasies or surface new desires. Both you and your partner answer the questionnaire separately, indicating the activities you want to try and, optionally, selecting how interested you are in that activity. You can also enter your own questions to be answered and the question will be presented to your partner no differently than the others. Once you and your partner answer all the questions about various sexual desires and fantasies, you're shown only the sexual activities in which you are both interested.

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