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Thu, Mar 22, 2018
Source: HoseT










Thu, Mar 22, 2018
Source: HoseT
When I first started this blog ten years ago I hadn't really much of a clue about what it was around this whole area of gender identity and what at the time went under headings of 'transvestite', 'cross-dresser' or 'sissy' was and indeed typing those words bring back the good and not so good connections those words had emotionally.
Newer terms like Transgender and 'trans' crept in as did a lot more acceptance of Transexuality that means becoming and carrying the gender specifically of a woman for all intents and purposes as someone born and raised a girl would.
I also didn't plan on talking about my childhood and its place in this which in the intervening years has become more obvious as the starting point of just where in this maze I truly am and it's time I did.
Something that causes much controversy not least between parents, child gender experts and politicians is the extent to which any child is seen as being aware of its gender by which I mean its place in the world of it's parents, playmates and others and not just being aware of its physical characteristics.
I knew from around the age of four and five there was a big difference between how and with whom other children were playing and how different children were treated with the label 'girl' and 'boy' and although I had the label 'boy' I didn't share much with boys when it came to interests and how I would see myself in my own mind. The thing was I wasn't entirely in tune with those who had the label 'girls' either although they were nearer.
This in some respects was more like I saw myself in a more formal context somewhere down the middle, like but not quite a girl cos I was more 'sugary sweet' in my tastes for longer then they were.
This was an explanation published in Germany in 2016 published in response to the question "What is a sissy boy?" posed by an Eleven year old:
"What is a sissy boy?
There are guys who behave like girls and women do according to the cliché: they swing around with their hips as they walk, often driving their hair through (maybe long) hair, strumming their eyelashes. They love beautiful clothes and beautiful styling, play with dolls and cultivate hobbies that are considered feminine. A boy who does that in a pronounced way is called a "sissy boy".

Conversely, there is the term "Tomboy": This is called a girl or a young woman with a decidedly male behavior: she pretends to be a tomboy, wears short hair, cheeky, male clothes, like for example cars and football.

Some Sissy Boys or Tomboys behave only temporarily so unusual - just because they feel like it. It may also be that they are homosexual: that means that they love the same sex, that a sissy boy wants a man as a partner. Some also live in the wrong body: the gender does not match the feelings.

What is really female or male for you? What is normal"? Try to look behind the covers of clothes and bodies, behind the usual pictures. You may then discover that there is simply a good soul there."

'Sissy' is notoriously bad to really categorize but I think that is a pretty good start point in that it shows the permanency of the feelings and the difference individuals may exhibit when it comes to whither they present as themselves on a small maybe part time basis or longer but without becoming girl or for most a woman like any other.
In other words, you remain outside of the male, female only gender binary divisions.
It also get to the heart of something that may be embarrassing but is a part of sissy identity generally which is the extent to which you are more outwardly feminine than your girl peers and indeed one exaltation we may of heard in our childhoods would be:

That whole mean look as a girl sees how you're coming over neither being another girl or a boy. While I'd say she'd be wrong to tell us not to be ourselves, she has actually got us right because we are acting and therefore being Sissies
Faced with being just like her and her friends our heads are wired different.
Faced with being gendered and dressed like the boy on the right, we don't go to what most girls of our age peers would, we go the sugary frilly princess more uber feminine ideal on the left almost by instinct. We are more dainty and missy than many a girl.

Personally I think that's close because we aren't doing things the way a girl would but are doing things that go way beyond what any boy would feel comfortable with in the culture of the time AND we have no intend on changing our physical form only presenting as our ultra feminine selves.
I was very much that person loving my specialness as a sissy as a child and to me the complications around who I am set in more in adulthood when people started looking around other explanations.
Around the time I was exploring the internet just before starting this blog there was a popular site for people who in some ways share a non sexual regressed more little girl type of look called Pettipond Reflections for gurls who like frilly petticoated uber feminine form of little girl presenting.
There was another word used to identify gurls like us from those who wished to present and pass as adult women but wasn't linked to sexual fetishes they used that was based upon our Mary Jane little girl shoes.
That word was "Jane Girl" for a 'boy' who approximates to an uber feminine girl but is in terms of sex, a boy. The reverse of "Tom Boy".
It's me' deep down' even if the latter was also a term of abuse and my childhood gender set me up for my gender identity and roles in adult hood.
In 2018 then I feel it is only right to acknowledge anew publicly that from my very beginning being a Jane Girl or Sissy was and is who I am and it is that which where needed, my gender should be referred to simply because that's the best term so far that allows the difference between me and say transexual to be defined while allowing for the permanency of my gender and how I carry it proper expression.

Wed, Mar 21, 2018
Source: Sissy candy panty
It wouldn't be me if there had of been some confusion around when the last post was actually posted as compared to with when I had started and saved it ready for that to point I did wonder if indeed I'd posted anything at all last week but obviously I had.
While I disagree with the direction of this vintage advertisement not least because I don't think it's the role of women to meet the needs of indulgent sexist men who are quite capable of getting off of their butt to fix things, the idea of knowing how to make a person feel comfortable and to be appreciated is actually no bad thing.
It may be me but I feel that has been a casualty of the gender wars as in arguing the equality of both, we lost sight how we can help each other in the workplace and at home without making anyone feel any less of a person for either offering or accepting it.
If someone has been busy and is tired why from our earliest ages shouldn't we learn to offer to do things for them like fix a drink or bring them anything they need to relax while we do things for them?
How many times do we hear "I always have to ask" or do we actually show our appreciation by thanking them there and then?
One reason I bring this up here is in part because in being what we are as sissies, we're at an advantage to show this as part of our appreciation of the ladies in our lives as part of our respect and even reverence of the female state and sometimes we fall short on it.
A well trained sissy is a real help to women an ally who also gains from that relationship a place in the scheme of things we find so...fitting.
Why shouldn't we try to better serving womankind?
Wed, Mar 14, 2018
Source: Sissy candy panty
Latex outside in the cold, cold Finnish winter Winter, especially when it's below freezing, is always a challenging time to capture latex. Besides the obvious reasons of models almost literally freezing their asses off, there's barely any light during day, posing gets difficult with limbs that barely move due to coldness and traveling to any […]
Tue, Mar 13, 2018
Source: Project L
Today is a bit different actually than most Wednesdays where for the last two years or so this blog has been published on and that is because we have anniversary this week to which I intend to mark.
It may surprise you but near enough ten years ago this week in what was and has become a very different world I did something extra ordinary back then having spent three years near enough on a all purpose Transgender 'support' site trying to make sense of it.
I actually made a 'sissy' blog after talking with others there and experimenting with doing more cutsey rather girlish posts on a more regularish blog because there needed to be space to work through rather more of what this 'thing' that tugged at me was and some of this was connected clearly to sexuality as well as things around gender.
I had spent some time around one site which was supposed to be about sissies and what that meant but there was a very much an all pervading emphasis on graphic sexual content running through that site and it's idea of what being a sissy was.
It wasn't that what I later learned was called 'sissy humiliation' and forms of directed/forced feminization didn't connect with me cos I'd be lying if I didn't even if admitting to this hasn't been exactly smooth sailing



Nor have forms of submissiveness to females been out of the frame either.
In the ten years my battles with all of this including being misdirected toward more transexual directions have caused problems for me personally and indeed had a lot to do with issues with this blog going through a cycle of restart, purge deleting chunks, restart, delete and repeat which I've only been free from in the last few years.
For me then going forward, what this blog needs to be be about is exploring more in full things around my own sissiness such as how that fits in with my gender, my sexual needs and preferences including how they can be fulfilled where I am in an adult sissy headspace coupled with how connects to my life.
It seems to me part of this blog should look at ideas around gender in general which have come one rather a lot since this blog was originally started which tended to be geared more around the idea of transition to a full time adult female and with everything around crossdressing and fetishes as somehow perverted distractions from the one true aim where as it appears we occupy a different and equally valid space.
Presentation is something too I wish to explore more as topic because again in the wider Transgender umbrella you have the Jeans wearing do as girls do now thing going on and yet on the face of it even BobMcMan can and does wear jeans 24/7 and that certainly wasn't what entered my head as that boy trying on girls clothes at all when all this started.
I wanted it 'feminine' even if it was in denim.
So that's an idea of where I think this blog will be headed on it's tenth anniversary.
Wed, Mar 07, 2018
Source: Sissy candy panty
Another week in the blog for which it's a miracle it still happens to be around after all these years and numerous incidents.

One reason this blog is around is honesty and the idea I should own everything to do with my sissy past even if what I do and how I may feel about it is different rather than putting out a sanitized version which itself gets further sanitized.
My sissy beginnings do include much of what is in to in this cartoon as for me exploration in sissiness began in childhood.
Whenever there was a spare moment such as school holidays or periods off school for sickness I'd start rummaging through washing and anything taken in for jumble sales trying on bras, knickers, waist slips dresses and skirts plus tights.
Sometimes I'd even put on my Mommys bra and knickers that would both find intensely enjoyable at the time and afterwards feeling pretty disgusted with myself for just cos it felt good.
I'd secretly hope I'd be discovered and forced to wear frilly knickers to be her sissy boy and even say at school where they'd possibly discover 'my little secret'.
It may well explain why I get off on petticoat punishment and 'sissy humilation' because when it comes down to it everything is about how you feel and the only thing you need is the self confidence to come out and admit to it including how you got started.
Wed, Feb 28, 2018
Source: Sissy candy panty

It was hardly planned thus but while I've not been around for a period to which I have written more elsewhere about some of the things around what I talked about on this blog last week just happened to crop in in conversations with others but due to certain sensitivities naturally I shall not mention names but at a gathering of littles one person started to describe something familiar.
They're in a relationship where their partner accepts they do things outside of it one of which is being an 'adult baby' complete with dress but isn't with the 'diaper lover' fetish aspect in the ab/dl form.
The other is they also said they have a sissy side,liking satins and maid type outfits and are bisexual which fortunately for them is accepted by their partner.
Now the interesting thing as I sat on the edge of this conversation sensing this was a good one to just listen to was that they expanded this by saying for them the sissy side had totally different setting, different clothes to their adult baby side so there wasn't any crossover or fluidity even when presenting in one to the other.
In other words for them sissiness was a completely separate state at which point I was almost gagging myself to say that isn't so limited really.
To me and it may be different to others it suggested they were more talking about going out and 'role playing' becoming that character for a duration whereas for me it's more giving physical expression to how I feel I am 24/7, the difference being with me it's 'being' me not becoming me because I already am carrying that with me.
I can chose to act on adult sissy urges if I wish but they are in separate space because there is a submissive sissy little gurl around pretty much most of the time with me because she is in me and being a 'little' isn't incompatible with that.
That's because that state of sissiness for me in being Transgendered.

Wed, Feb 21, 2018
Source: Sissy candy panty
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Thu, Feb 15, 2018
Source: Project L
One thing in this blog I do wish to talk more around is the nature and origins of Gender Identity to me because the stuff around that has been not just personally very painful but also a major contributor to past issues around this blog even.
The first thing to say is sex and gender are not the same things even though sadly here in 2018 there people who often deliberately maintain that in a dogmatic black and white way.
Sex put quite simply is more about your body frame and it's physical construction which as with most mammals is geared around sexual reproduction and in my instance I can stand as many times as I wish I front of a mirror the one thing I cannot deny is I have male genitalia and so on my birth certificate it records "boy" where it refers to sex.
Gender though is more about how you see your role and is very much a social construct subject to change over time and within cultures even where things are looked through the prism of that which allies to what people of one sex do, wear and assume the roles of .
One way of looking at this is the extent to which you deviate from contemporary ideas about such things as the way you dress, the way you speak, the way you interact with your peers and generally 'be' you from that attributed to others who have the same sex.
For me that difference was there from a very early age in that I exhibited more the characteristics of girls to the point I played with girls and saw my role as tied with them because I was feminine.
I wanted to be in their groups sharing and taking part in whatever they did and saw the world of my own sex as being really alien being unable to take a place within it which not untypically was the subject of much tension.
Where things get more complex is for me it was and is about gender and less about sex by which I mean having by way of surgery the body of a person of the female sex and that shows in my mainly age regressed little side where I present and operate from the gender role of the little girls I played with and shared the same role identity with.
To me that is literally transgender-being the gender opposite to that associated with your sex and so having no desire for the body nor full on adult role as a adult member of the female sex takes me out of the transexual orbit.
To me then having this trans-gender adult but child age regressed life whatever label you stick on it comes under transgender as I see me as feminine and use female pronouns as I sit playing with my dollies or colouring.
It isn't uncommon for some cis female regressors to bind their busts to get a flatter more bio-child appearance and even if for some reason I was to consider surgery it would in may respects be pointless as I too would be binding my new bust most of the time.
I know I approximate to but am not identical in sex to any age regressed cis 'girls' so often what comes up is what do you call me.
In some circles such as school based role play the term "Special Girls" is used which I suspect helps in terms of asserting their gender while emphasizing a difference from 'Girls' while in other circles terms with some past issues such as "sissy" or "sissy gurl" may be used to differentiate as might "Femme" from Feminine (male sex).
For me that difference is real so there's little point fudging it and personally with the love and support of a cis girl playmate I'm embracing Sissy and Sissy gurl as the term for my gender
Wed, Feb 14, 2018
Source: Sissy candy panty
The difference between being a sissy and being sissified can be reduced to the former being an identity and the latter an adjective, the state of being a sissy but I rather suspect they more be more going on underneath .
Sticking your hand up and admitting you ARE a sissy is a hard thing to do for a good number of people not least in some circles you're really not that welcomed and while in 2018 in general people are more accepting of being transgendered, a good number of people tend only to more sympathetic to those who are Transexual seeing them as more in a virtuous battle while anything that may come over as just wanting to be feminine some of the time or feeling in many ways you're neither gender gets the cold shoulder.
Not riding in erroneously the coattails of transexuals is fine but you do need to take ownership of your otherness just to have a life as yourself and what within the sissy umbrella you feel is you (and what's not) because we are all different such as your liking for submissiveness and to what extent you get off on playful sissy humiliation.

Wed, Feb 07, 2018
Source: Sissy candy panty
Sometimes I have mention it here and I have mentioned it at the odd sissy site that in the context of age regressed little sissy me spanking does play a part in that life and I suppose belongs on this blog.
That life usually sees me in some kind uniform or other for whole of that day so as all spanking for me is disciplinary, then you could say I'm spanked in uniform which for some other folks is a whole fetish they love and personally I've no issue with anyone doing that if it makes you feel better for it afterwards.

Not a few people like the idea of 'dressing up' for it which I suspect you've gathered is 180 degrees removed from where I'm coming from and one form certainly involves things like being a cheerleader. I have been spanked in my Netball kit before now usually if I've been paying no attention to what's going on in the game and is great motivator with me at least.
Wed, Jan 31, 2018
Source: Sissy candy panty