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What gets you into a self-bondage mood?
#1
What gets you into a Self-bondage mood?

As I read through postings in the Forum and Ra’s most excellent Blog, I realised that some, though not all (more about that later), of what I was reading was heightening my desire for another SB session. Indeed, I was getting turned on by the thought or image some stories and articles created in my mind.

This got me thinking about what I use to get ‘into the mood’ for some serious SB fun, and then to wonder what stimulants other people might use for the same activity.

My personal favourites are not particularly surprising:

Images:
Photos or videos of bondage/self-bondage are a great turn-on for me. Ideally I want the subject to be female, clothed in nylon/latex/lycra and intricately bound in some way.

Self bondage videos are occasionally good, but most lack the ‘helplessness’ of the bondage I need (we’ve all seen ones where the girl cuffs her hands in front or ties a hopelessly loose piece of rope around her ankles – any ‘real’ SB fan knows this is just useless for a proper session!) so I tend to stick with erotic bondage (not ‘hard’ SM, I like to see my damsels enjoying themselves, not crying in pain or terror… turn-off indeed!Sad).

Vanilla(?) images of attractive women wearing latex, rubber, nylon, etc can sometimes create a spark but usually because I’m thinking of them in bondage pose Wink

A final, personal, thought about images; I do find well shot photos of men in self-bondage stimulating, which initially caused me great angst! However, using the most prodigious male exponent of SB, Ra himself, as an example, I now understand that it’s the scenario that gets me going – not Ra’s helpless body (sorry Ra, I hope you’re not too disappointed!).

Literature (stories):
A well written story of someone (again, for preference female, but if the scene is good I don’t mind a male perspective) can be a great idea creator – letting me imagine myself in that predicament or improving further. Once again Ra scores highly in this area; I confess to both getting very turned on and also being inspired to greater things in my own sessions when reading his articles and (Warning! ego trip coming up!!) I hope, in some small way, my own writings work for others in a similar way (OK, ego trip over!Blush).

Though I enjoy fictional SB tales, I much prefer to read about genuine experiences, which I feel are better sources of inspiration (and usually much easier to achieve yourself!) – add quality images to a quality story and you have a winner (Ra, take another bow!)

Clothing, self-bondage material and ‘toys’:
This is another very personal area; so what I write might not apply to you (though I suspect it does!)

Clothing is, I hope, pretty much self explanatory. I might see a special offer on pantyhose (always a favourite with me!), a lycra body/swimsuit or something in latex. Either the purchase or thought of a purchase can be enough to get me into the mood.

Self-bondage material is another obvious area; rope, tape, padlocks, timers and the like are either brought or seen and trigger a session (more fun if you’re actually using something new – well, usually!)

Toys can be anything you use to enhance your experience further. For me it can be purchasing new plug or gag which leads me to an urgent need to try them out ‘for real’! My patience record is 2 whole days without using my new toy in a session (the shortest was 6 minutes – post arrived whilst I was getting dressed for a session and as soon I could the new plug was in place… nice!)

Do you need to be ‘turned-on’ to have a self-bondage session?
Hmmm… seems obvious that the answer must be “yes”, but is it?
Almost straight away I realised there was a simple problem that faces any serious SB practitioner – how to get in the mood, but not get too turned on!

Let me explain this; it appears logical to me that for most of us men, there is a clear need to prevent an early (premature?) orgasm – I can’t speak for female Self-bondagers (should that be self-bondagette’s?) and suspect they laugh at us poor males with our ‘one shot and it’s all over’ approach to sex (female readers may wish to add their own thoughts here). Ra’s article about his CB6000 (always think this sounds like a 2-way radio from the 70’s & 80’s!) and my own approach to de-sensitising my cock under multiple layers of nylon are good examples of what I mean.

So here is the challenge – I need (want) to be turned on before I start my session, but not so turned on that it’s over before I get going. In all honesty I often fail, succumbing (ahem!Blush) to my primal desires before a rope it tied, occasionally before I even get fully dressed. It always seems such a good idea at the time (well, I am only a man after all!), but 5 minutes later I wish I’d held out.

My best sessions are always those where I’m only just turned on enough to play, don’t ask me to describe this feeling – I can’t, it’s just a moment in time when dressing and binding can all take place before the lust kicks in.

And, for me, there is no finer feeling in the world of sexuality than being helplessly bound and unable to cum when you desperately wish you could!

There you have it, a view into my world of turn-ons and how/why i use them for my self-bondage fun.

Play safe

MJ
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#2
Just a quick preliminary response: it's all in our brain. Imagination, imagination and once more imagination.

Just discussed that with my wife. There are two completely separate processes: doing something alone or with a partner. Self-something is absolutely not interesting for my wife, she needs relations, emotions, energy exchanging, etc.

I can completely switch to my own "virtual reality", I can imagine other people, but if they existed in real life they would most likely distract and disturb me.

I strongly think that it's deeply related to the personality types. I've read quite a lot about the subject, I know my type and I can explain some things using that theory:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socionics
http://www.socioniko.net/en/1.1.types/index.html
http://www.mcfiala.com/personality/mbti.html
http://www.socionics.com/main/types.htm

The personality type can not be changed, BTW. And "imagination" is a major feature of the intuitive types.

(And I haven't mentioned Dr. Freud yet! But again, I love my fetishes and I do not want to be "cured" ;-P )
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#3
(25 Nov 2009, 01:02 )Like Ra Wrote: [quote='madjack' pid='1051' dateline='1258705904']
What gets you into a Self-bondage mood?
Very important question I'm trying to answer all these years.

(20 Nov 2009, 10:31 )madjack Wrote: As I read through postings in the Forum and Ra’s most excellent Blog, I realised that some, though not all (more about that later), of what I was reading was heightening my desire for another SB session.
This is what I call "similar fetishes". When people get turned on by similar elements while looking at the same picture(s).

(20 Nov 2009, 10:31 )madjack Wrote: This got me thinking about what I use to get ‘into the mood’ for some serious SB fun, and then to wonder what stimulants other people might use for the same activity.
Good test: let's upload some drawings/photos with "maximal impact" into this thread. No more than 10. I know, difficult to choose.

(20 Nov 2009, 10:31 )madjack Wrote: Images:
I prefer drawings.

(20 Nov 2009, 10:31 )madjack Wrote: Self bondage videos are occasionally good,
For some reasons I do not like videos. Got bored too soon. Photos work better for me.

(20 Nov 2009, 10:31 )madjack Wrote: (not ‘hard’ SM, I like to see my damsels enjoying themselves, not crying in pain or terror… turn-off indeed!Sad).
Absolutely!

(20 Nov 2009, 10:31 )madjack Wrote: Vanilla(?) images of attractive women wearing latex, rubber, nylon, etc can sometimes create a spark but usually because I’m thinking of them in bondage pose Wink
I imagine myself in these clothes. Then bound.

(20 Nov 2009, 10:31 )madjack Wrote: A final, personal, thought about images; I do find well shot photos of men in self-bondage stimulating,
I still prefer drawings ;-)

(20 Nov 2009, 10:31 )madjack Wrote: which initially caused me great angst! However, using the most prodigious male exponent of SB, Ra himself, as an example, I now understand that it’s the scenario that gets me going – not Ra’s helpless body (sorry Ra, I hope you’re not too disappointed!).
No problem, more on this subject later ;-)

(20 Nov 2009, 10:31 )madjack Wrote: I hope, in some small way, my own writings work for others in a similar way
More, please ;-P

(20 Nov 2009, 10:31 )madjack Wrote: Ra, take another bow!
Bowing back ;-)

(20 Nov 2009, 10:31 )madjack Wrote: Clothing, self-bondage material and ‘toys’:
This is another very personal area; so what I write might not apply to you (though I suspect it does!)
No special clothing - no bondage.

(20 Nov 2009, 10:31 )madjack Wrote: (the shortest was 6 minutes – post arrived whilst I was getting dressed for a session and as soon I could the new plug was in place… nice!)

Like this? mng-41.jpg thumbnail   

(20 Nov 2009, 10:31 )madjack Wrote: And, for me, there is no finer feeling in the world of sexuality than being helplessly bound and unable to cum when you desperately wish you could!
Good frustration ;-)
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#4
For a start: http://www.likera.com/blog/wp/archives/4881
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#5
Reading the articles on this blog are a great inspiration for getting in the mood. completed sessions, techniques, diagrams, tools are all fantastic.

Browsing on eBay. Just seeing the component parts of any session is enough.

I also find any artwork greatly stimulating. Themes with a high sense of helplessness or even better where the victim seems to be struggling to avoid their fate while being aware that there freedom is being taken away. although i usually find drawings better than Photographs because imagination is the only limit. This what originally drew me to this website. I was looking for clothes you cant take off and found the pictures of the self bondage leotard. (Does any one else get ideas about building a contraption to aid self bondage in that way?)

By far though i find Fiction the most stimulating. Having a very active imagination means that i can easily put my self in the 'Shoes' so to speak, of the victim. Do we have a self bondage fiction thread? It would be nice for people to share their favorite stories.
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#6
(25 Nov 2009, 22:08 )Uncle Wrote: Browsing on eBay. Just seeing the component parts of any session is enough.
This is one of the reasons why I put eBay ads on the site. Sometimes you see very interesting things. And sometimes you buy them ;-)

(25 Nov 2009, 22:08 )Uncle Wrote: I also find any artwork greatly stimulating... although i usually find drawings better than Photographs because imagination is the only limit.
My point exactly!

(25 Nov 2009, 22:08 )Uncle Wrote: I was looking for clothes you cant take off
I'm about to start a series of articles on this subject. ...
(I have sooooooo many ideas ... but no time to even publish them, let alone implement ...)

(25 Nov 2009, 22:08 )Uncle Wrote: Do we have a self bondage fiction thread? It would be nice for people to share their favorite stories.

Yes, here: http://www.likera.com/forum/mybb/forumdi...php?fid=15
The subforum is called "Session ideas, requests and fiction". Feel free to post there.
Also, I have a self-bondage related collection here: http://www.likera.com/sb/tales/ Not big, though.
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#7
What else gets me in to a self bondage mood?

The girl friend going away and Christmas as an excuse to receive a shed load of parcels. Unfortunately i had to dump a whole load of gear when i moved in with her as to not reveal my little secret...

To ebay! Now... what to buy??
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#8
(01 Dec 2009, 20:15 )Uncle Wrote: To ebay! Now... what to buy??

o- You do see eBay ads on the site, do you? ;-)
o- You can check my wish list

OK, something to begin with: bad boy prostate massager. I've just bought it. A full review follows. Very interesting thing with a potential.

But you will definitely need latex pants/shorts to wear with this vibrator.
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#9
I thought about this question for a while and I think it is very complicated. There are certain stimulants but those don't necessarily lead into a self-bondage mood. I seem to live in multiple universes and one of them is self-bondage. I can switch at will and do so eventually. But sometimes it is like a command that I follow. Visuals and thoughts can make me hot and sometimes they are the trigger, but I think the reason is rather a state of mind that comes and goes in waves. I have spent months without any self-bondage or other fetish related actions and then again months with daily practice. And there are days when I just do it for the heck of it or out of boredom and others, where I sort of explode. I am not a psychologist, but I think, I am looking for something in self-bondage that I can't find in my normal life, and when it is missing too much, it calls for action.

As for getting in the mood, it usually is enough to look through my toys and start playing a little. Some of my most enjoyable sessions started like that. Now, during the winter, my enthusiasm has cooled down a bit of course, but for an experiment, I will see what happens when I open my box after finishing this post Smile

.. the day after: Ok, I didn't sleep enough but I had a nice time with myself. Please note that my first thoght after finishing this post yesterday was "doh, I promised, so I have to" but I was in the mood in no time as soon as I started keeping my promise.

I wonder if Like-Ra wanted me to write about Second Life here. In fact, playing with bondage toys there kept me in a semi-hot mood easily, but it hardly ever triggered the urge to do self-bondage. It is as if I was in search of something and once on a promising track, I don't look around anymore. Second Life is one of these tracks. But indeed, Second Life is a source of inspiration for new ideas.
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#10
(25 Nov 2009, 22:08 )Uncle Wrote: Reading the articles on this blog are a great inspiration for getting in the mood. completed sessions, techniques, diagrams, tools are all fantastic.

Thanks Uncle - I'm glad you liked it Smile

(25 Nov 2009, 22:08 )Uncle Wrote: Browsing on eBay. Just seeing the component parts of any session is enough.

Oh yeah! I love that too, though always remember to clear the cache and such - red faces when the next user can see what you've been looking at!

(25 Nov 2009, 22:08 )Uncle Wrote: I also find any artwork greatly stimulating. Themes with a high sense of helplessness or even better where the victim seems to be struggling to avoid their fate while being aware that there freedom is being taken away.

Yes I agree - artwork (when done well) is far more inventive than real life and so much more fun!



(25 Jan 2010, 23:34 )Strappado Wrote: I thought about this question for a while and I think it is very complicated.

I think you've just hit the nail on the head - it is complicated and more so becuase we are all individuals (I'm not!... sorry, just couldn't resist the Monty Python joke!Blush)


(25 Jan 2010, 23:34 )Strappado Wrote: I will see what happens when I open my box after finishing this post Smile

.. the day after: Ok, I didn't sleep enough but I had a nice time with myself. Please note that my first thoght after finishing this post yesterday was "doh, I promised, so I have to" but I was in the mood in no time as soon as I started keeping my promise.

Tee-hee! Look I made you go and do... the POWER!!!Tongue

On the subject of fiction... I have written, and continue to write, my own stories, though I've not published any (at least not yet!). Which suddenly struck me as a very odd thing to do... I've shared some of my most intimate experiences (with photos) of real sessions, but never a made up one... I wonder why?

Maybe I'll dust one of them down this year and give you an exclusive?

MJ
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