"Getting rid of" a crossdressing fetish?

[EllieAndAlice]

20M here. I've had a sissy/crossdressing/feminization fetish for years now, but it only became a problem in the past couple years. I tried to transition for a while, MtF, and apart from being in a very Red (Conservative/Fascist) part of the US, a big reason I kinda got cold feet was due to the fact that I was sexualizing myself in the clothes instead of just accepting it as me. It was a sexual fetish.

That was a couple years ago, and today I am thinking about exploring that side of me again. Probably just as a crossdresser. Before I do that though I am trying to see if there's any way to reduce the sexual aspect of it, and turn it from a sexual fetish to a non-sexual fetish (based on the definition laid out in the Important Threads). I feel no shame in this aspect of my life, and I'm not trying to hide it away. In fact, it's quite the opposite. But I don't want to take this part of me out in the public if I'm only dressed that way because of a sexual attraction to it.

I believe it's possible because months back my girlfriend took away my male underwear and bought me a bunch of panties and thongs and now it's all that I'm allowed to wear. It started off sexual, but I got used to the feeling and now it's second nature -- if I don't think about it in a sexual way then I never get aroused. I'm wondering if I'm going along the right lines when it comes to accepting it non-sexually or if the right way is something else, or if there even is a right way.

[Like Ra]

We have quite a few of related discussions. If I get it right, you are trying to understand if you indeed have "gender dysphoria" or if it's a fetish.

Quick question. Do you still want to present yourself "en femme" after you had an orgasm?

[EllieAndAlice]

We have quite a few of related discussions. If I get it right, you are trying to understand if you indeed have "gender dysphoria" or if it's a fetish.

Quick question. Do you still want to present yourself "en femme" after you had an orgasm?

Immediately after orgasm? 9/10 times, no. Point for the fetish column.

When I am not en femme, I sometimes long for a time when I can be. I can tell the difference between a genuine longing and when I want to relieve myself. I aeady know I have a fetish.

[Like Ra]

Immediately after orgasm? 9/10 times, no. Point for the fetish column.

Yep, that's it 😊

Have you also looked at autogynephilia?

But I don't want to take this part of me out in the public if I'm only dressed that way because of a sexual attraction to it.

Can you describe a difference from the point of view of a passer-by if a man dresses as a woman because of sexual fetish or because he truly thinks/feels that he's a woman?

[EllieAndAlice]

Immediately after orgasm? 9/10 times, no. Point for the fetish column.

Yep, that's it 😊

Have you also looked at autogynephilia?

But I don't want to take this part of me out in the public if I'm only dressed that way because of a sexual attraction to it.

Can you describe a difference from the point of view of a passer-by if a man dresses as a woman because of sexual fetish or because he truly thinks/feels that he's a woman?

Haven't heard of autogynephilia before. That's one possible answer I suppose.

If you mean in public, and the man is dressed modestly, and isn't behaving out of the norm, then I guess it would be indistinguishable

[essanym]

I heard this asked years ago as a joke of sorts; How do you tell a trans woman from a crowd of genetic women?  The trans woman will be the one in the dress.  I can't say how this applies to today's standards of dress since fashion changes by the year, but the point is still the same.  Genetic females don't always dress to maximum femininity.  They often wear tshirts, jeans, sweatpants, leggings and sneakers.  If you want to know if you see yourself as a woman in all capacities or as just a cross-dresser, would you go out as a woman wearing a tshirt, jeans, sneakers, baseball cap and hair pulled back in a pony tail? Or do you only have the drive to dress up in heels, pantyhose, skirt / blouses or dresses?

I also come from a red state in the southeast US and I went through some of the exact same things you described.  I questioned whether I was actually TG or just a cross-dresser.  I would have been able to answer the question @Like Ra asked about if I wanted to be a female after orgasm with a yes.  I also frequently went out with friends (straight friends in Alabama) as a girl dressed in jeans and tshirts, etc.  I wanted (want) to be female in all aspects, including the not so glamorous so I figured that I must be TG whereas some people I knew only wanted to be glamorous at times that were convenient... they are cross-dresssers / fetishists.

I have said for years that no one in their right mind would choose to be transgendered.  Actually feeling like you were born with the wrong body is emotionally painful; and that's what I've been dealing with basically my whole life (I'm 40).  I'm not trying to come across as a downer, I just want to drive the point home that being TG is much more than putting makeup on and a dress.

[Culmor]

The 'Religious Right' in the USA believe they can 'cure' homosexuality. They can't. 

There''s about the same chance of anyone 'curing' fetishism.

[Like Ra]

The 'Religious Right' in the USA believe they can 'cure' homosexuality. They can't. 

Depends. Just one well-known example, when a boy had bad experience with girls, and to "make life easier" decided to switch to boys. Or when a child is looking for a "good parent" which is missing in his or her family. Such cases can (and MUST) be cured by thoroughly working with psychologists. Though, you can't call it "true homosexuality".

There''s about the same chance of anyone 'curing' fetishism.

Yep, "true fetishism" is uncurable, but suppressable, what is even worse in some cases.

[Tinker D]

It took me years to find my place in the gender market place. It just really means, for me, that I just like wearing clothing. Weather it’s a dress or just a skirt and nylons, I just like them. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.

But here is an idea. If you slip on a skirt, and get a hardon, go ahead and pull a good one. When you done, do not take off that skirt. In fact, wear it till your ready for a good nights sleep. Maybe sleep in it.
After a week or so, putting on the skirt will do nothing for you except maybe keeping your balls cooler and that will cool the rest of your body as well.
And of course you can always buy yourself a kilt.

And it’s not crossdressing if you wear your favorite skirt or top. It’s called Free Form Dressing.

[Tinker D]

I’m also in the northern section of calif.
Burned out an living in a warehouse.