"Getting rid of" a crossdressing fetish?

[Like Ra]

If you mean in public, and the man is dressed modestly, and isn't behaving out of the norm, then I guess it would be indistinguishable

Absolutely. But the one with fetishism, most likely, will not be dressed modestly 😉 That's exactly what @essanym said.

as just a cross-dresser, would you go out as a woman wearing a tshirt, jeans, sneakers, baseball cap and hair pulled back in a pony tail? Or do you only have the drive to dress up in heels, pantyhose, skirt / blouses or dresses?

I would choose a t-shirt (or a water-polo swimsuit, but then with a loose shirt), tight jeans mini shorts, pantyhose (various!), sneakers and "hair pulled back in a pony tail" That's soooo many of my fetishes in one! 😋

Pencil skirts with high heels would be fantastic, but this style requires MUCH more, but I'm lazy, so I would stick to the above.

See also If I were a girl...

I wanted (want) to be female in all aspects, including the not so glamorous

Arghhh... I want to look like a super-model... That's the reason I stopped with cross-dressing...

[Like Ra]

It’s called Free Form Dressing.

Or freestyle 😊

[Like Ra]

Haven't heard of autogynephilia before. That's one possible answer I suppose.

I haven't heard about it till a couple of years back either, and it describes me perfectly.

[Like Ra]

20M here. I've had a sissy/crossdressing/feminization fetish

I would say enjoy female clothing while you are young. Later it will be much more difficult for aesthetics reasons. But do not try to classify yourself, because as soon as you label it, you might begin to "adhere to the standards", and usually they are not what you are. All classifications are either generalizations or simplifications, hence they are all wrong 😊

[essanym]

I would say enjoy female clothing while you are young. Later it will be much more difficult for aesthetics reasons.

Yes, yes, yes.  I can't agree more.  That's one of my main reasons for not pursuing my TG hopes and dreams any longer.  If I still looked like I did 15 years ago, I'd be all over it.  These days I settle for the fact that my wife doesn't care how I look inside the house.  😁

[Like Ra]

my girlfriend took away my male underwear and bought me a bunch of panties and thongs and now it's all that I'm allowed to wear.

My wife told me, that I must mention that you are lucky to have such a girlfriend!

I'm only dressed that way because of a sexual attraction to it.

It started off sexual, but I got used to the feeling and now it's second nature -- if I don't think about it in a sexual way then I never get aroused.

And again, enjoy the time when you are still getting aroused by it! Or lucky time when I was rock hard while pulling on pantyhose.

I wish I had free access to such things when I was 20, let alone 18... I did not know about the Internet at that time! There was FIDO, but I did not have a computer at home anyway, smartphones did not exist, Google did not exist...

[Culmor]

Depends.

The Religious Right claim to believe that church members  can 'pray away the gay': I don't have any doubt at all that's ineffective. As an example Ted Haggard founded the 'New Life' megachurch and was one of the leading opponents of same-sex marriage* until it was discovered he'd been using crystal meth with a male prostitute for three years (among other gay relationships) . After some praying by 'qualified church elders' he  founded 'St James' Church' and claimed '...that his feelings of sexual attraction to other men had miraculously disappeared'. If you believe that I have a bridge to sell you.


*On the grounds it's not Biblical. IIRC there are six forms of marriage in the Bible, the most common being polygamy but you don't see many churches promoting that. I can only think of a handful of Mormons sects that still practice it and even then you usually have to be dead first.

[Like Ra]

IIRC there are six forms of marriage in the Bible

Any polyandric forms?

The Religious Right claim to believe that church members  can 'pray away the gay'

😁
   

[EllieAndAlice]

Back when I was openly identifying as trans I tried wearing female everything. My closet had been transitioning long before I was. I was open my junior/senior year of high school and then stopped transitioning after that. My closet had started transitioning back in junior high with female jeans. I would always buy female/androgynous clothing. Sometimes I'd be in 100% female clothing, other times I would just be in a male t-shirt with nothing else. I even wore a bra sometimes. I wore my hair at a fair length but never the average length for women -- I simply couldn't grow my hair out that long before it was either completely dead or I couldn't stand the look of it anymore. I wore it about shoulder length, which there's plenty of room to do stuff with -- I just couldn't style my hair to save my life. Or makeup, for that matter. For a TG female, I was still pretty butch. I didn't have much money for clothes because I didn't get a job until I graduated, mostly because nobody wanted me unless I was a cashier.

I stopped transitioning for a few reasons. The clothes I was buying fed into whatever fetish I had, dressing up really slutty and then not wanting to be dressed slutty after the fact made things really confusing. I love self bondage, so I would start from there. Then dress up into the clothes I liked because I didn't like my body and would rather hide it. I know I have altocalciphilia so heels were a must. Heels + slutty clothing really heightened the experience but then obviously I wasn't gonna go around dressed half-naked and slutty, and back then I could barely walk in heels lmao.
I also ended up getting chased around the block in my hometown by a van after I went outside for a walk in heels one night. T-shirt, jeans, comfy heels. I wanted to implement bondage in it so I locked them on bc I was feeling frisky, and was recreating a video I saw where the heels were locked on and the key was hidden outside and I would have to walk to get them. I got them just fine but I passed people on the way who decided to grab a van and come chase me down or whatever, so I was cut off from my way back, ended up hiding in a bush, and walking the long way home barefoot after running some distance to get away. What was part of my fetish for heels ended up scaring me to death about being open anymore, at least in this part of the world. I have no idea what their intentions were, but I got another look at the van one day and it's windowless with a place on the rear door for a padlock, so my imagination ran wild.
This is around the same time I graduated, and got a job. I sucked it up and became a cashier for a gas station, in the same town I got chased around in. There was nothing anywhere in the code that said I would be protected at all, they just followed the Civil Rights Act which never defined anything about transitioning or non-binary individuals. On top of the fact that my employees wouldn't be very tolerant and neither would the customers. I was just so put off from being myself back then because of fear of the community I grew up in.

Fast forward two years later to now. I grew slightly more comfortable with myself as a male, and forgot what it meant to be dysphoric - if I ever truly did know. Top it off with the fetishes, which famously never go away, and I still have that same confusion that I did years ago. My girlfriend and I have plans to move out of the country eventually. We plan to move to Canada, and live there permanently if possible. I hear it's a much better place for personal freedoms and protections, and overall way more tolerant.



I'm not trying to argue anything to anyone. If I'm not dysphoric or trans then I'm just not. But I just remembered the three major reasons I ever stopped transitioning and figured I'd mention them. "essanym", by your explanation of going out in public casually instead of en femme all the time, I did fit the qualifications. That's how I dressed in public, 99 times out of 100. And I think back then I really felt dysphoria. I would stay up at night thinking about it, and cry myself to sleep because I told myself there was a dice roll at my birth, a 50% chance of being the other sex and being happy with who I was but I drew the short stick. Have I done that since? No, I haven't. So maybe it was a fluke, but I can't tell. Maybe I convinced myself I had dysphoria. Or maybe I do and I've repressed it under fear of coming out again, because I don't feel safe and haven't for years. I came here for advice, and I appreciate you all responding to this thread.

[Culmor]

Thanks LeahLikes
That's very touching, thanks for sharing.
C.