the ramblings of a madman.

[bdug]

I figure "Introduce yourself" is an okay place for this?

Guess ill start this off like an AA meeting. Hi, im (Human Name followed by Surname). This is all kind of new to me.. Well. sorta. Whats new is my attempt at communicating and verbalizing these kinds of interests, and sharing who i really am, with hopefully like-minded people. 

Sharing who i really am: Its funny (no it isnt), im 33 years old (almost 34, in 10 more days. Hooray.) and never once attempted to reach out and discover myself. I have forced myself to just continue trying to live my life in the image of what society thinks a "normal" man should be. But that i am not, and as you can imagine, its starting to take a toll. i feel alone, and i dont know who i am.  I dont know what im even trying to say here, my thoughts are kind of all over the place. Someone lend a hand because i dont know what the fuck im doing anymore lol.

Do i keep rambling on about how lost i am? I think we're all mostly here cuz fetish stuff, and i dont wanna be a buzz kill. but that stuff isnt like, surface level shit, you know? Do i just ramble on about kinky shit instead? Or just like, other interests? Would someone want to ask questions? ask me anything. I will answer and ask my own. That might help to organize and clarify what it is my soul is trying to do achieve with this... whatever this post is.

"This fucking guy needs to see a therapist"

probably. What i need more is a friend with whom i can be my whole self, and some guidance, and i dont know where im supposed to look for that.

[Like Ra]

First of all - welcome!

How did you land here? Were you "googling" for something? Or followed a link somewhere?

I have forced myself to just continue trying to live my life in the image of what society thinks a "normal" man should be. But that i am not

What, in your opinion, does differ "you" from the "social expectations" (like you understand them)?

"This fucking guy needs to see a therapist"

Very true, like most (all?) of us 😉 As they say, there are no healthy people, there are underexamined ones.

[Tinker D]

You sound like me 30 years ago.
Yea, it’s hard. For me, it’s always been hard to make any friends.
Unless you have money dripping out of your pants or skirt pocket.
But once gone, so goes the friends.
It was 23 years ago that I met my true soulmate. At a costume shop.
But he’s married so all we can be are friends.

As for being messed up, I had my share of problems that I felt that I could never work out.

Then I found this site. Good people, kinky crap and just great conversation.

So I bid you a warm welcome and any questions you like.
And feel free to contribute photos, ideas and what knots to this site.

Tinker V