General Self Bondage Problem

[xyzdragon]

Hello,
I am new here, but very interested in selfbondage. I think my first positive experience was in kindergarten, when someone held the door to a plastic play house closed, while I was inside. After that the occasional bench binding as harmless play (which didn't stop me from getting an erection, at least noone seemed to notice)

So now I tried out the selfbondage thing with ice, but it wasn't as exciting as those memories mentioned. Knowing the fact, that the release method is failsafe destroys the whole experience. Of course I don't want to for example die of thrist because not being able to unbind myself. But waiting for some minutes or even random hours is not really a problem. Back then it was fun, because someone other tied me up and I was at full mercy.

I guess there is no solution to this problem, except finding a partner?

[Like Ra]

I guess there is no solution to this problem, except finding a partner?

The partner should also eventually free you up, right? If you enjoy the possibility to be bound forever (aka fear of death), you can bind yourself in a forest (or in a gay meeting place/forest) without any time-locks and wait until someone (possibly the police) finds you and possibly release.

[Strappado]

xyzdragon, you hit the point, that is the main trouble of self-bondage. I sometimes wonder, if even the simplest type of partner bondage could be much more exciting than the most refined self-bondage scenario. You cannot give up control in self bondage. Well, you could, but there is nobody to pick it up... You can make yourself a little bit helpless by yourself (there is a website by that name btw.), that's all, except for various dangers and troubles. A partner can tease you, role-play, make love and much much more! Anyway, I think, bondage - or rather sex, self or not, happens mostly in your brain, it isn't really a fetish by itself. There are times, where I do my best with wicked ideas, but it leaves me unsatisfied. At the end of such a day, in bed, I sometimes start dreaming about things that I couldn't do alone and THAT works. Only brains, you see? And some sort of penetration.

[xyzdragon]

The partner should also eventually free you up, right? If you enjoy the possibility to be bound forever (aka fear of death), you can bind yourself in a forest (or in a gay meeting place/forest) without any time-locks and wait until someone (possibly the police) finds you and possibly release.

I don't think that I'll like/do that in the next 10 years give or take.

At the end of such a day, in bed, I sometimes start dreaming about things that I couldn't do alone and THAT works. Only brains, you see? And some sort of penetration.

Hm. I don't know if I am fantasizing hard enough, but this leaves me unsatisfied after all the years imagining. But you are right, actually fantasizing should be enough. After an orgasm at least I am not that "motivated" anymore anyway.

This is actually a good point to change or widen the topic:
I see myself as the destroyed generation 'Porno'. I started watching Hentai clips approx. with 13. I watched my first full hentai: Princess 69 maybe one year later and I find this Hentai still arousing today (20 years), which means I started with one of the hardest.

Now the problem besides blunted affects is that it always looks so enjoyable in Hentais and Doujins. This leads to two problems:

1.)I am unsure whether I did it always or not, or just didn't notice myself doing it, but since some time I always imagine myself in the position of the bound, raped or simply fucked girl. Even for blowjobs, which seems gay even to me - no offense here, but I think of myself as a heterosexual, at least I find girls so beautiful that I want to be one to some extent 😟.

-I may have started doing so because of my innate? love of bondage and because it was always the girls being bound. (If this love was innate and my full personality comes from my mother like my appearance stems from my father, then - I wonder - does my mother also love bondage? I know that many people do many weird things. I think it was "120 days of Sodom" (novel) and many other books and finally over past days you 'Like Ra' which made me realize that all these obscurities are fairly human.
-Or maybe the porn made me crooked and because it looked so enjoyable. This would be rather bad and another reason to make porn x-rated, although my general point of view is: let everyone get all information and then let them decide how to handle with them.

2.)This problem is the reason I find myself writing here. I know that my love for bondage was more or less always there, but all the other things I only tried out, because it looked so enjoyable in Hentais. For example anal-play: The thought of doing it is so much more arousing than the real deal, but even so I can only think: if the notion is this arousing, then the real thing should be even better. http://g.e-hentai.org/s/5ec1286567/241251-10 http://g.e-hentai.org/s/3aa96fd3f4/170110-12 These Doujins are one of my all-time favorites and yesterday after many years of yearning I tried to recreate this situations. But even after two enemas I still wasn't clean and I only got around 5 ping pong balls inside (so only the rectum) before I had to stop because it didn't seem to enter the sigmoid colon without some pain and because my bowel movements seemed to start (and I have had an inflatable anal butt plug for 2 years now). So, all in all I failed. But I know myself and will definitely want to try this again so badly in one year that I'll do it again.

That's all. Sorry, I didn't have many opportunities to speak about these things with anyone, so it all got unleashed here and therefore is a bit unsorted.

[Strappado]

I think, some things only look enjoyable, because the actors seem to enjoy them. That is, when imagination wins.

I think, fetishism is often what it literally means, making a cheap copy of what you cannot reach and enjoy it instead. For this reason, I don't think, that BDSM is a fetish only. Submission and dominance are closely related to human instincts and have no space in sexuality otherwise. Self-bondage on the other hand, can clearly be a fetish for partner BDSM, but even there I see a lot of direct feelings, fear, shame, humiliation (self-implied, for example walking in public with hidden bondage) etc.

You said, you sometimes want to be a girl, because you find them so beautiful. Similar thoughts led me to cross dressing in private. I also dreamt of switching bodies with a girl, having real tits, vagina and all. These (my) ideas were/are clearly fetishes, due to the lack of sexual relations. Funny enough, it resulted in a new habit, I am wearing skirts in public and at home sometimes now - just for fun and because skirts are very comfortable, erotic feelings are unimportant side-effects now.

As for imagination: It is also a matter of practice. Not all fantasies are successful though, but during sexual frustration and with the right mind, they can be very powerful.

I have been through many ups and downs in my sexual life. Sometimes, I found "back to the roots" very helpful. Instead of making scenarios harder and harder, try something simple, that you haven't done for ages. When I wrote my tutorials for self bondage with rope for beginners, I remembered things like that, and since I had to try them out for the tutorial, I was very astonished to see, how arousing they were again.