Self bondage - are you a Sub or Top?

[madjack]

Hi to all,

This question has been running through my head for some time now - though is based only on my own experiences to date.

The question is......

If you practise self bondage - is it because you like tying someone up or because you like to be tied?

I must admit that I like to both tie and be tied, and often fantasise that I'm tying someone else when I'm having a SB session.

I dress myself in all the clothes I want my fantasy 'victim' to wear (pantyhose, lycra, latex, etc) and try to tie myself how I'd tie her. In my mind I have the control over my willing slave (now me!) and become almost detached from any feeling of helplessness I've created for myself.

But, and this is a big BUT, when I get really into the passion of a session in the build up to orgasm (could this be the 'sub-space' I read about?) then I switch to being a total submissive, wanting more ropes/gags/enemas/butt-plugs/whatever and forget all about the 'woman' I bound and dominated earlier.

So, am I a Dom or a Sub when I have my SB fun?

..or am I just a little odd? 😁

Happily tying the days away

J

Ps. Whatever the psychology of it all - I LOVE SELF-BONDAGE

[Like Ra]

Speaking for myself the answer is simple. I like to be bound and to be being bound. No pain, power exchange or role playing excite me. Just give me pure bondage, fetish outfit, possibly sensory deprivation and some entertainment during the session 😁

Probably I'm too "selfish" 😊 For example, even if I see a beautiful girl in sexy pantyhose, I imagine myself wearing the same kind of pantyhose (no, not worn, brand new 😊

[Paulette the Tart]

I like tying up my victim but I prefer being the victim and luckily I have a partner who understands me - she will also paddle or cane me when I'm helpless and do it hard enough so I want to be free, thus proving to me that I really am totally helpless.

If I'm in one of my maids uniforms I couldn't be happier. 😁

[Like Ra]

Returning to the original question... I'm rather a sub 😉

BTW, when in self-bondage (the proper one, strict, inescapable) you do not have any control over your situation. It's the time lock what has it 😉

[Clam]

id have to say im a sub

i would like to do both

i tie myself up to be helpless

[madjack]

Hi Clam

I think you are close to my thinking on this subject.

I love to tie up and I love to be tied - so when I'm enjoying a self-bondage session I often wonder if I'm getting my thrill from being tied (the fantasy of my lover doing these things to me) or if it's the binding (doing those things to me lover) that turns me on!

Whichever it is - I LOVE IT!

MJ

[bluedragontao]

Just putting my two cents in, but I'd argue that nobody is every 100% one way or the other. I can name several instances where I've met people who were either strong subs or doms, and could take the opposite role providing a certain set of circumstances were met.

[madjack]

Just putting my two cents in, but I'd argue that nobody is every 100% one way or the other. I can name several instances where I've met people who were either strong subs or doms, and could take the opposite role providing a certain set of circumstances were met.

Hi Bluedragontao

I think what you say nicely describes my own feelings - generally Dom, but can be a happy Sub as well.

My question was more theoretical; about 'why' we do what we do to ourselves, without a partner - whereby the binding is 100% for our own pleasure. I asked myself the question 'do I tie myself up becuase I like being bound, or because I like doing the tying'?

MJ

[bluedragontao]

I don't want to sound rude, but it seems like you're using the fallacy of the excluded middle. As I don't think there's any one way of dom/sub, i don't think there's only one way to go about it. You could like both equally, or waver across a spectrum.

[Joyl27]

For me it is definitely the subjective experience of being bound and encased, oneself, that I enjoy. I could do it for others, but only to share the experience; to show what they have been missing.
And having a partner of course makes certain types of bondage considerably easier to achieve. Self-bondage is always tricky.