"Getting rid of" a crossdressing fetish?

[Culmor]

LikeRa wrote of Biblical marriages

Any polyandric forms?

Of course not. A man and a free woman,  a man and several free women, a man and a porcupine concubine, a man and several concubines (possibly plus multiple free women) or a slave and a slave. All with different rules applying.

Solomon, 'the wisest man that ever lived' had 700 wives and 300 concubines. David had at least 8 wives and an unspecified number of concubines, Many of the patriarchs had multiple wives but try to find a church that's keen on preaching that...crickets.

[Like Ra]

altocalciphilia

Oh, thank you!

I'm not trying to argue anything to anyone.

There are two types of discussions:

(1) both sides are trying to solve the problem or understand the actual situation (to test the theory one side may heavily criticise the position of the other one even if they agree with each other)
(2) both sides blindly defend their position and ignore facts and arguments (even if they are talking about the same solution)

The idea is to get to the truth 😊

I came here for advice, and I appreciate you all responding to this thread.

Guess why this site was created? Because the founder had questions he could not answer, was doing something he could not explain why, and still does not know "Now what?"
Guess who should ultimately answer such questions? The one who asks them!
Guess how others can help? By asking questions and sharing experience!

😉

You are very welcome aboard! Thanks for sharing!

[Like Ra]

Many of the patriarchs had multiple wives

... young novitiate boys, you mean .... They are monks after all 😁

[Like Ra]

But I just remembered the three major reasons I ever stopped transitioning

For me it's one and the only - aesthetics!

The best cure is to look at typical TV/CD photos on typical TV/CD forums/discords. Very ... encouraging ...

[essanym]

For me it's one and the only - aesthetics!

For me it's mostly aesthetics and partially financial.  The aesthetics part fits somewhat into the category of financial because in order to get a job while transitioning, one would need to be at least somewhat passable.  When I was transitioning, I was lacking for real work.  Mostly I was able to do odd jobs here and there but when your expertise lies in electro-mechanical, you need to be able to fit into a masculine dominated world, which I was not able to do.  My dysphoria is still a part of me but not enough of a part of me that I'm willing to make a fool of myself in general just to be able to say I'm female.  I don't want to be the next meme video like the "maam" in gamestop.  If I am to transition, then I will do it as perfectly as I can which means I need to wait to do anything until I win the lottery and no longer have need to work.  I'm not even playing the lottery so I suspect I will never transition.  I've learned to live with the bit of dysphoria I have and seek outlets for it where necessary.  It's not perfect but it gets me by well enough.

Guess who should ultimately answer such questions? The one who asks them!

I can't agree more.  The only one who can determine whether they have dysphoria or fetish or a combination of the two it one's own self.

[cbshackle]

As someone who did transition, I thought I would give my perspective. I didn't crossdress in dresses, but I did like to wear one-piece swimsuits prior to transitioning. A lot of that I figured out was from my physical dysphoria and wearing somethings that flattened my front was exciting and desired even after orgasming. It is also why I enjoyed chastity belts so much. The whole anti-trans theory of autogynephilia means you are not transgender is false as many cis women fetishize there own bodies. Like some cis women get turned on by wearing certain feminine clothing.

There is also social dysphoria. I want to be seen as a woman by society. I do wear dresses on occasion in the summer, but I usually wear leggings and jeans just like any other woman. I never wear pantyhose or any heal above 3 inches. Partly because I'm 6'5" and I prefer comfort.

I'm 50 now and transitioned 7 years ago and had bottom surgery 3 years ago. My normal everyday look is more like a soccer mom more than anything else. I blend extremely well and no one knows I am transgender unless they knew me before I transitioned or I told them despite being tall. My voice and mannerism are feminine and having been born intersex also helps. I have naturally feminine hips before transitioning and I never had an Adam's apple. Even at the doctor's office, nurses who haven't read my chart will ask when my last period was.

There is no doubt in my mind that transitioning was right for me. I was raised in the conservative south (TN and NC) and living in the NJ/NYC area helped with accepting my true self. A lot of what has been said about determining if you are dressing female for a fetish or if you are trans has some truths either way. One final thing that did it for me was how do I want to see myself as I get older. Do I want to age as a man or as a woman? Answering that question to me was the final question and answer.

It is only you that can determine which is right or wrong. A therapist who can diagnose gender dysphoria can maybe help guide you, but in the end, it is up to you.

[Like Ra]

The whole anti-trans theory of autogynephilia means you are not transgender is false as many cis women fetishize there own bodies. Like some cis women get turned on by wearing certain feminine clothing.

It does not make the theory false or non-scientific. It's not universal like many (all?) other theories. If it can be applied to certain men and women, it means that it's perfectly "legit", you just need to define the proper criteria for applying this theory. Again, like for any other theories.

[cbshackle]

The whole anti-trans theory of autogynephilia means you are not transgender is false as many cis women fetishize there own bodies. Like some cis women get turned on by wearing certain feminine clothing.

It does not make the theory false or non-scientific. It's not universal like many (all?) other theories. If it can be applied to certain men and women, it means that it's perfectly "legit", you just need to define the proper criteria for applying this theory. Again, like for any other theories.

There are many TERFS (Trans Exclusive Radical Feminists, who really are not feminists) who like to claim that there is no such thing as transgender and that men who transition only do so because of autogynephilia or that they are predators trying to get into women's spaces. That is the theory I am referring to for clarification.

[Like Ra]

In the world of manipulations this is called "generalization" (if "one", then "all") and "ignoring other possibilities" (what is related in this case), right? 😁

[EllieAndAlice]

It is also why I enjoyed chastity belts so much.

I am obsessed with cages. It's expensive to get into though, which is why I don't have a belt nor have I tried one. I have a HolyTrainer V3 English knockoff that I got for 60 dollars and it fits really well, but I still have various problems while wearing the device😕

I love when I go to put on a bikini or other feminine swim suit and I wear a makeshift gaff (usually a tight thong). When I look down all I see is a relatively feminine body with little to no bulge. I need a real gaff though, or some tucking panties or something, because it's usually so uncomfortable