I've been listening in the evenings over the last days, after months of other things in life. Sissygasm for anal, oral whore for throat play, and trancing super-slut for generic jerking off. Sometimes combined with this soundtrack for an added whoomph :
Source:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7j19_w7k3Ak&t=363s
Pretty euphoric stuff, no sign of any programming, except at the very moment of use, when the experience is intense and oceanic. However, perhaps the programming has a
eady taken place previously, in the sense of making one open to a way wider variety of real or imagined behavior.
Personal note: after going beyond the usual with a spiky inflatable buttplug (but not too much beyond because the Chinese comrades are insane and apparently have no limits when they design stuff)...
https://s.click.aliexpress.com/e/_Deg7cPL
Apparently broke through into some different layer of experience, which wasn't fear-play, wasn't humiliation-play, wasn't some meta-childish fairytale, but was this time rather some super energizing boost. I was literally roaring in delight and saying "this is fucking amazing" out loud, after the toy slid out - in itself a highly exciting and subjectively endless process.
Dangerously delicious. Now I understand how being an anal pig in very specific ways can provide the super-energy boost we see in young Rob Halford or Freddy Mercury. Or Hotkinkyjo today. Don't think it should be done too often, feels like it burns out all the dopamine and one needs some downtime for days or weeks to do it again without screwing up some internal circuitry.
Before that, different day, did throat stuff under the shower, to play a little with the feeling of drowning as drops of water go down the throat and nose. Another "most amazing feeling ever" but super dangerous. Was coughing up water for half an hour afterwards, promised myself to never do it again. Sometimes a guy just tries something, enjoys its awesomeness, but has to admit that this awesome thing shouldn't be done too often, and sometimes alas never again. Like with all forms of breathplay, water very much included.
