Identity Crisis?

[Like Ra]

our thoughts and feelings are the only things we truly control

Sorry to disagree 😉 Yes, it is possible to control our thoughts, but try to stop your internal dialogue. It's very easy to start thinking about something, but try NOT to thunk about something, or do not think at all.

Yes, it's possible to control what you feel, but imagine the following situations:

o- If you touch something very hot, can you control the pain shock?
o- If someone hurts your family member, can you control your feelings?

Actually, I was talking about emotions, not feelings. Think of aggression, anger, despair, fury, rage around. Do you think people can easily control them? One of the original meaning of "yoga" is "yoke" or rein for emotions. In other words, yoga teaches you how to control your emotions. Not to become "senseless", no, but more to "monitor" them, and be aware of how and why they change and stabilize them, do not allow emotions to overpower you.

Interesting how the illusion works

"If it's in your head, it does not mean that it's unreal" 😉 Before speaking about illusions, we need to define reality. Does it actually exist? 😉

[Like Ra]

This whole conversation tempts me to start a series of posts related to my latest meditation experience. Very fetish & bondage experience I must say. Not for the sake of fetish & bondage, but more for "Do you really want this? Do you really want to spend the whole days in fetish gear and nights in bondage?" Now I do not really know if it's better to dream about something, than actually have it. One of my favourite sayings: "Beware of your own desires, because they come true".

[Like Ra]

Another example of "what do we actually control". Anorexia Neurosa is usually caused by the absence of control. People with anorexia can not control their life, the only thing they can control is the amount of food they eat.

Another example of "what do we actually control". Anorexia Neurosa is usually caused by the absence of control. People with anorexia can not control their life, the only thing they can control is the amount of food they eat.

Ra, that's a mental disorder... On the other hand, so is fetishism according to dsm5
Even than, people are taught to regain control. That's how they get cured.
You'd be surprised the amount of control we really have. Our mind is a wondrous thing. Even emotions are controllable, really.

Edit: seems I missed a few posts.
You talk about close relatives why die and emotions. I've been to a couple of funerals lately and I can say there were lots of emotions. For some. Some people (including really close relatives) were sobbing, others crying, but also some people had a face carved out of stone. Maybe they were emotional, but at least not visibly.
Even pain you can control with your thoughts, there are techniques taught to people with chronic pain diseases so they suffer less. But no, the real reflexes (spinal responses) when you touch something realy hot are not controllable. And that's a good thing.

Better have a conversation like this is a good restaurant with good food and some tasty wine 😊

[Like Ra]

Yes, everything can be trained, our bodies are very capable, the reality is very elastic and has enormous plasticity, reflexes can be changed for good and for bad. At the end it's all about our intentions. The intentions define our thoughts, the thoughts move the Qi, the Qi moves the blood, etc 😉