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Hey guys!
#1
Thought I would introduce myself, I've actually been a lurker here for a while. This is a very, very long post, so bear with me.

I've been interested in BDSM since a very early age. I realized it actually before I really hit puberty, I used to roll myself up in my bedding and love the feeling.

Since then I've developed a strong list of kinks and fetishes...I'll give a list later! My true desires lay with being in a D/s relationship, and I consider myself a switch in that regard. But, being so young, that obviously wasn't realistic. As I grew more interested, I began to practice self play and bondage. I honestly can't remember how many sessions I completed, but it all started off very "innocent". A little hand binding here, and just exploding from that into elaboration.

I have to admit, at the time I wasn't entirely comfortable with my desires...society tends to tell us that men aren't supposed to ever be submissive or helpless. I felt like I was doing something wrong or that I was abnormal. But why did it feel so good to be restrained and in peril? The answer eluded me for some time. Nonetheless, I continued my adventures.

I'm young enough to have grown up with the internet (though, at the beginning, completely rudimentary compared to today) and I found pornography one way or another. I was actually adverse to searching for what I actually wanted (fetish material), but curiosity bound the cat. I started off with bondage porn focused on women submitting/being restrained, but I kept looking at the images and just "wishing that was me". Which brings us to the next bit.

Please forgive me in advance, I'm not completely aware about what the proper and respectful terms are for everything, so feel free to let me know!

When I was wishing I was subject to these ladies' predicaments, I often imagined myself "feminized". When I was still young I tried on some of my mother's stockings and high heels. I loved the way it looked and felt, but I was once again at odds with my socialized ideas. I've never really dressed up completely, but I'd like to at least try in the future. I guess it made me question my sexuality, because in my naivety I though that "if I want to be tied up in a corset, garter belt/stockings/other various hosiery, and high heels, I must be...gay?" It made me so confused, because I was only attracted to women. Obviously as I got older and learned more, I came to find that it's all a spectrum, you can like certain things and not necessarily be labeled as X, Y, or Z. I'm still not sure if cross-dressing will become a thing for me. I feel like it's really hard for men to feel 'sexy', and these things make me feel sexy. I'd love to hear some more seasoned stories about how you came into all of this (or point me in the direction where I can read up on it!)

Anyhow, self bondage became a thing to do when I was home alone (lucky enough to be an only child haha). I tied myself up on the floor, to chairs, to poles, suspended myself by my feet, all sorts of things. Because of the limitations of being a kid, I resorted mainly to restriction via things like nylons, cling wrap, and tape. I sort of developed a larger fetish for the stuff, and I always like to incorporate it somehow. The thing is, most of my scenarios were "staged" in the sense that I could release myself somehow...seemingly easy compared to the riggings I've seen here. So I would prepare everything, struggle a bit, release one hand to get myself off, and then just start getting myself out. There was a glimpse of the true feeling of being virtually helpless, but I could never really feel that way out of fear of using release methods. I just couldn't risk being "found." I had a few far-too-close calls.

After I went to college, I pretty much stopped all self bondage activities. Living in a suite with other people just isn't conducive to the practice! But I'm finished with that now, and find the urge to get back into it. I honestly don't remember how I found this forum, but when I did I was excited (in more ways than one Big Grin). It's just everything I liked, and it made me feel not as alone. I'm pumped to continue my journey and learn from you guys.

I've been planning a session for the past couple weeks, and I think I'm going to execute it tomorrow. I'm a little rusty, so I hope it turns out like I want. I've been testing release methods and feel confident now. I'm hoping I can get some footage of it for you all, and start an online journal of my sessions!

Even MORE about myself:

Age: 24
Location: USA

Kinks include but not limited to:
Bondage (Rope, Tape, Wrap, Chains, Devices) - Encasement (Tape/Wrap, Casting) - Mummification - Sensory Deprivation - Materials (Latex, Rubber, Spandex, Leather, Nylons) - Chastity - Gags (Ball gags, Ring gags, Tape/Nylon) - Impact Play (Whips, Crops, Canes, Paddles) - CBT (Binding, Weights, Pegs, Wax) - Electroplay (TENS Unit, Prods, Wands) - Anal Play (Plugs, Dildos, Enemas)

So...pretty much everything under the sun.

Goals:

Ropework - Become more skilled at knots, ties, etc.
Anal Play - I've never owned any toys, but I want to start training myself to make it routine/easier. I had the most intense orgasm of my life from anal stimulation (gloved finger, hit the prostate and went to the moon), and I'd like to feel that again. I plan on purchasing a set of plugs and slowly moving up in size and duration, and a standard dildo to practice with.
Longterm Sensory Depriv. - I'd like to eventually explore this more thoroughly, but I think I may need assured fail-safe (luckily I have a like-minded friend who is also a nurse). I'd like to be completely immobilized with nylons and a couple layers of tape, with various teases and torments underneath. An electrostim unit giving random pulses of varying intensity to different areas of the body, similar vibrators on erogenous areas at random, and a fully plugged ass. Along with proper noise cancellation and blindness, I would need to be catheterized, temperature controlled, and probably have an IV drip to be safe. I'm not sure if it's realistic, but I'd like to possibly for go for 24 to 48 hours. I want to get lost in myself and see where my mind goes. This is obviously extremely advanced, dangerous, and would only do so if I had proper medical monitoring. One can dream, yeah?

Whew, that was all long-winded. I have more questions, but maybe I'll wait to find the proper areas to ask. I'd like to invite any comments or questions. Thank you for taking the time to read everything, I'm looking forward to becoming part of this community!
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#2
Great post! And sounds very familiar, with the exception of Internet - there was no Internet when I was a kid. And I thought that I was a hopeless pervert, because of my desire to be bound in pantyhose and swimsuits. But I could not resist the urge. And now I understand that it's actually good that I did not. I think it's a part of accepting yourself.
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#3
Sounds a little about me. As I kid, I enjoyed self bondage, and some of moms clothing. But, I didn't into it that deep till I got Internet in 1998. I think it was called Web TV.
Anyway, I got into chastity belts and then spent a month in 1999 in shelfeld with Tollyboy ( Richard ). I also remember Alterboy.com and helplessness on Geo Cities.

Now, even the Internet is regulated.
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#4
For me the revelation that I'm not alone came in 1994 (via the Internet). I was already married!
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#5
Welcome Minibonds Big Grin

Your post sounds very familiar - I'm sure a great number of us on the forum followed a very similar path of discovery, I know I did.

Like Ra, my own epiphany came in the mid 90's with access to the internet and discovering I wasn't alone in my fantasies and desires. Stumbling across this very forum has also helped me explore my feelings further and try some different ideas.

I'm intrigued by your long-term fantasy - it sounds very intense and, to me, a little scary without some serious planning and safety back-ups (I.e. how much trust would you have in your friend or the person doing the binding?). Maybe that is the joy of fantasies, you can enjoy them in the relative safety of your own mind and that's where they stay? Big Grin

It sounds like you need to purchase a few butt-plugs if you want to experience anal play - of all the things I've tried over the years this area was the biggest surprise (in a nice way) and one I'm so happy I discovered. Also enema play was another 'why have I never tried this before' experience Wink

Great first post Smile

MJ
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