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I breached the communication issue with him, so he would at least be aware of it. Too early to say if that fixed it entirely, but he's gotten better about feedback, and prior incidents where I had to bring up an issue had good results, so I think we're good.
It also turns out he isn't quite as vanilla as I thought he was. I suggested we take the BDSM test, and while I definitely had more extreme results than him (I got two 100%s and two 90+%s, he didn't go above 90) we lined up incredibly well in terms of what we do like.
We've been talking about it a lot and we're both excited about how this can progress. I haven't brought up the sex-repulsion yet and I'm taking baby steps to really open up, but the only real issue now is the distance between us and lack of ability to cross it.
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Good to read, I’m happy for you. Hope this will lead to some positive and healthy between you.
Don’t worry, baby steps are good 👍, too fast is never a good idea. Just be honest. I needed 6 years before breaching my kinks. It was strange for my then gf ( and I understand it’s a long time, probably too long) but she managed to understand the pressure that can be behind such issue.
Wish you the best, and don’t forget we can support you if needed 😉
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(26 Sep 2022, 19:31 )no smile Wrote: I needed 6 years before breaching my kinks.
We've been dating for almost five years (in late October) but we've been friends for about twelve. I think the "issue" wasn't so much the time, but the lack of any real prior sexual discussions because of the asexuality + distance.
Thank you for your words and advice!
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20 Dec 2022, 03:52
(This post was last modified: 20 Dec 2022, 03:52 by Lancer.)
I found out that the first person I ever jacked off to isn't/wasn't a woman. It was the self bondage anal hook hogtie from boundanna. And that post was my favorite thing for a long while. My poor heterosexuality never stood a chance now did it.
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Mine was the self bondage how-to in bondage life.
Didn’t get to finish the tie before blowing my wad.
That was way back in the late 90s.
Know what ? I still can’t finish that tie.
Something about that super hog-tie that puts me way over the edge.
Funny how things like that gets to you.
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Sums up today...
MJ
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(26 Jan 2023, 14:45 )madjack Wrote:
Exactly!
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I could not imagine, that the death of our cat would hit us that hard ... He was very old, last weeks/days/nights it did not go well with him, so we had to put him to sleep... 🐈🌈😭