you find machine tool catalogs incredibly erotic.
You have to work on pneumatics at work and it makes you embarrassed.
You mentally gage the size of holes by what body parts you think will fit, and how loosely
you pass a construction site where they've cut holes in the fence to watch the workers, and wonder why they put stocks here.
you buy big Rajastani bangles, even though nobody wears those any more
your mom visits, and you're not worried at all about her finding DIRT under something.
your SO brings home one of those balloon things you use to backflush sewers, and you think "My god, I'll never get that in!" before he establishes that the downstairs toilet is actually backing up.
You drive through an urban 'hood' and see shoes tied together and thrown over a phone line, and think "That is SO totally not safe suspension!"
You realize you're not sure what color lipstick to wear, you don't want it to clash with the gag he's using.
You watch a serious documentary on nuclear war, and keep getting distracted by the missiles.
You get honest feedback at writer's group. Someone tells you you're repeating the scene where the girl gets tied up in every story, and it's a cliche anyway.
You have sexualized the words 'morph', 'Poser', 'skeleton', 'texture', 'polygon' and so on. You fee alternately embarrassed and aroused using the CAD system at work. You have a private stash of files furtively drawn on the CAD system at work.
You take an adult ed woodworking class, and use the word 'lunette' in a question. You seem far more interested than the other students in the 'make a box' exercise.
Someone gives you one of those silicone iphone protectors with the strange trumpet thing on it and you assume they're hitting on you.
You have strong opinions about master-slave relationships in computer protocols.
You believe 1/4" phone jacks should not be sold to minors
You fall and hurt yourself, it hurts a LOT, and you finally safeword.
A newly met friend invites you sailing and is surprised you're a complete tyro. She exclaims "But you had all that rope and pulleys and stuff at your house!"
You're invited to be a bridesmaid, and you look fat in your dress. You a
eady have appropriate shapewear.
You're invited to a victorian fantasy wedding, and don't have to buy anything to wear.
Your friend recruits you to play the part of a professional dominatrix in his no-budget film. He suggest you just wear what you usually wear. He shoots the scene where the serial killer has lured his victim into the basement in your spare bedroom.
You have handcuffs attached to your rear view mirror.
You think people who have handcuffs attached to their rear view mirror are wannabees. You have a scolds fiddle attached to yours.
You like using the blood pressure machine at Walgreens.
You own lots of hypodermic syringes, but don't have a pet or a medical problem that requires injections.
You buy two boxes of latex gloves a month.
You have strong opinions about chlorination and powdering, and are not a chemist.
While waiting for a friend in the auto parts store, you keep yourself totally amused.
You meet the guy who invented plastidip and thank him for his service.
You get a faint buzz from being told you must remain in your seat with your seatbelt securely fastened and your seat in it's upright and locked position.
You enjoy putting the cap back on ball point pens just to hear the click.
Watching old videos of Apollo flights make you swell with patriotic pride when you realize the US put the first fully encased rubberman on the moon.
You visit an aircraft museum and they let you get strapped into the cockpit of an old fighter plane. You really like this and do it 4 times.
You own more leather than the local tack shop.
Your spending on clothing is threatening your financial security, but your friends think you dress like you're on welfare.
You think of yourself as having a very active sex life. Then the doctor asks when you last had intercourse and you can't remember.
You're asked your sexual orientation on a form and write 'see back side of paper' in the space.
You're asked about your sexual activities on a form with a lot of checkboxes. You draw in your own checkbox at the bottom, label it 'All of the above' and check it.
Your mother complements how clean you're keeping the kitchen. You realize you haven't actually cleaned the kitchen floor just because it was dirty in six months.
A good looking guy in a suit greets you on the street, and you realize the only name you know him by is Sharon.
Your sex life sometimes involves Googling.
You have the tor browser installed, have a VPN, use a bridge, change passwords every week, keep your systems updated, run Kali Linux, and keep an account on an ISP in Bulgaria. You're not good with computers, a friend set all this up for you.
