Selfbondage request

[The inspector]

I’m now living in the spare room of the house and that was just from showing photos and discussion.

Was just about to ask you... So, it's not solved yet 😟

No. Any time I try and discuss or at least make peace she just screams at me and calls me as many different variations of weirdo possible. 

Not as simple as just walking away, and the annoying thing is everything was great until this came along. So I really don’t know what to do.

[Like Ra]

Any time I try and discuss or at least make peace she just screams at me and calls me as many different variations of weirdo possible. 

Do you talk to each other at all?

[Tinker D]

I would send her a card. Saying...

Dear ********
I’m sorry. I did not mean to upset you so.
Please forgive me and I will not talk about this ever again.
I love you, very much so. So, with this letter, I’ll say again,
Dear ******* I love you and I do not want hurt you. Please forgive me.
And then sign your name.

Keep your fetish a secret. I know it’s hard and all, I to have to keep a low profile when I do my play.

[Like Ra]

There is nothing (in this particular case) to ask forgiveness for. One likes coffee, another one tea. Is the first one guilty? One thing - it should've come up earlier.

[Like Ra]

Another point. We do not know the actual situation. Moreover, even "they" do not know the "actual" situation, because. obviously, "they" "percept" and "expect" differently. First day of any entry level NLP training.

[Tinker D]

That is true.
I’m just going on my personal  experience decause I lost two girl friends, pretty much the same way. So, I hide my kink from almost everybody. After all isn’t that the point of self bondage is going at it yourself ?
Now, think about it. Self bondage is bondage by oneself. Not by others.
Bondage, on the other hand, is something done with a willing friend.

What I think he is trying to do, is to make a mistress out of a girlfriend.
And it’s not working. Is it ?

[The inspector]

Lots to answer here.

Ra, yes. We still speak, but it’s awkward. Even simple questions like “how was your day” can turn awkward. I don’t want to give up trying though.

Also I agree with you on the fact we both strongly differ on one subject. It’s not that either party is at fault. To reply to Tinker, yes. I could try and keep it a “secret” but as she is now aware and has also told quite a few of my friends the secret is somewhat out of the bag. I feel she actively looks for any evidence or remaining clothing or restraints etc. Whilst I would love a mistress or at the very least someone to help me on my ventures. Even if it was just to fasten the last padlock to immobilise me and then unlock me in a few hours. The issue here is she stumbled across a few things, I tried to explain my true desires in bite size bits as not to overload, but even the idea of handcuffs sent her into a frenzy over the whole thing. Hell if I told her the worst of it I hate to think how it would have gone. The intention was never to get her inside as I know she is far too “vanilla” ,(gods I hate that word), it was just to let her be at least aware that this was something that I did as she deserved an explanation. Should I have divulged earlier and preferably before we got married. Probably yes. But it’s a little late for should of’s. the very notion of sharing something like that terrified me.

[Max515]

When I told my GF about my BDSM inclinations, she was in shock. She wouldn't talk to me. How I got her back: I reminded her that it's still me, not some monster from a scary movie, and that BDSM is entirely optional.
We aeady had a good relationship at that point. This is an important factor.

The fact that your GF told everyone about your kinks is a very bad sign. I would leave her immediately.

[Like Ra]

Finally found this post: https://www.likera.com/blog/wp/archives/4525

Guys, I will move all related stuff under: https://www.likera.com/forum/mybb/Thread...ell-others

[Zooy]

Over the years you see how different people react.
And often in a totally unexpected way.
In my case I was lucky. When I told my wife, she was at first very confused, but the next day aeady she realised that I was still the same person and that I had trusted her with my deepest secret. Taking part is something entirely different though. That is not her cup of tea. But in all it actually strengthened our relation.

The other side of the spectrum can be very painful, as shown here. I have seen this also on a site where people like high heeled shoes. Just that. And similar totally crazy reactions. In my eyes she is the one who needs a therapy, but you can forget convincing her of that. The best you can hope for is to go together to a marriage counsellor. And be fortunate enough to find one that is not narrow minded either.