(26 Sep 2021, 22:54 )Like Ra Wrote: (26 Sep 2021, 22:31 )Cattani Wrote: I really have to take a day to ground myself,
I'm very curious ! Eagerly waiting for your report!
Just your generic transition day from “hypno bender” to “normal life”. Managed about 4-5 hours of sleep, woke up horny as hell, forced self out of bed, now doing various chores, getting into a new frame of mind, preparing for resumption of duties and responsibilities tomorrow.
The bender was great. Excellent decompression. By the evening of the third day real freeing up bliss happened. Like a deep massage—at first you feel almost nothing, then you start feeling yeah, maybe I am a bit tense, and then suddenly your muscles start to relax for real and you realize how chronically tense you were for so so long. Same here. First day of bender—yeah, nice. Second day of bender—hey, actually better than yesterday. Third day of bender—Christ almighty I haven’t felt so alive and open seemingly for eternity.
As if my living Self had built up and powered up a coral-like structure around itself, but then gradually this living Self started dimming and going down to 1% of “battery charge”, leaving behind the coral-like duplicate of itself unpowered, mostly dead, inflexible, monochrome, yet this underpowered and sad structure was forced to deal with everything.
And on the evening of the third day of the bender—baaam! Suddenly the living Self awakes and starts expanding and I can laugh out in delight at just being alive. This, of course, cannot be a permanent state, but doing it with some regularity should keep the living Self from going into a coma and relegating everything to the clunky coral-like duplicate. Maybe keeping the "battery life" at at least 10-15%, that would be great. With the occasional bender surge.
Insight: sometimes doing something isn't about doing that something for its own sake, but in order for this something, when it is done, to perform the role of a key to a new situation. Sometimes we forget that, and start focusing too much on the something for it's own sake, forgetting that its central function is being a key.
That being said, I do have my suspicions that in certain situations one can theoretically go too far both with Bambi, or the Sex Mania files, and the combination between the two. This night as I tried to go asleep and couldn’t for a long while, I had to fight a certain desire to go to sleep listening to a mix of Sex Mania night file, Pig Girl night file, Swallow Abyss, and the Bimbo Sex Animal file.
This would likely have kicked off a much longer bender, weeks or months long, and yes actual lifestyle changes, which I simply can’t afford to do right now.
Anyway. Here I am now, tired but in a way recharged—back to irl.