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From 'normal' to 'kinky' – a personal review of my fetish development
#31
(12 Nov 2012, 10:12 )LustrousLaminaLover Wrote: [Image: Untitled243.gif]
(If anyone knows anywhere to get one of these, let me know please [Image: angel.gif] )
@LustrousLaminaLoverncould you please upload the image of "what-you-meant" into the forum?

@All - see why I prefer that all images and quoted texts are uploaded here, and not just linked?
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#32
(13 Sep 2018, 11:52 )Like Ra Wrote:
(12 Nov 2012, 10:12 )LustrousLaminaLover Wrote: [Image: Untitled243.gif]
(If anyone knows anywhere to get one of these, let me know please [Image: angel.gif] )
@LustrousLaminaLoverncould you please upload the image of "what-you-meant" into the forum?
Maybe we can all have a guess as to what it could possibly be...the winner gets to try out whatever kink it is? My guess is attached - a kinky 'daughter' who torments her poor Daddy on a bondage frame?
@All - see why I prefer that all images and quoted texts are uploaded here, and not just linked?


Attached Files Thumbnail(s)
 bdsm 1.jpg   
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#33
Looks painful...

But I think the original image was about a f#$%-machine or something.
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#34
Having read through all the various stories I now feel such relief for the things I’ve done in the past along with the things I still do. I used to have such horrible thoughts about myself and considered myself to be sick in the head. I thought I was the only one who even liked this sort of thing. Of course in time movies and books made me realise that many people have kinks but they never seemed that real to me. I’ve only been here a few days but everything is such an eye opener and is real because a great many of the stories have that element of fear, doubt and guilt which I’ve always had. Plus you all speak from the heart and say how you feel. I can’t get enough of this place even the ads are exciting and perfectly tailored to me. So many similarities in this thread to things I’ve done, especially the ones mentioned by madjack and TightSlip.

I find more and more that being here is really waking up memories of things I had forgotten or blanked out because they made me feel bad. I have a lot of baggage and as I’ve got older I think it’s started to get in the way of my desires, of the things that will make me happy and bring me pleasure. So it’s about time I shared too.

I could fill a huge thread about my crossdressing which I don’t entirely see as a kink since it’s linked to my identity. As such I’ll only refer to that where it specifically blends with my other kinks.

Nylon Sensations

When I was a kid I had this comfort blanket. I think I called it my “cushy” or something. It always felt smooth to the touch, kind of cold in a way and from what I can recall I loved the feeling of it against my skin. I couldn’t go anywhere without it and I used to hold it tightly at night. It was far more of a comfort than any cuddly toy I had. I think sometimes I took my underpants off and liked to feel it against my genitals. I was too young to get an erection but something about it excited me and I never knew why. About a year ago I mentioned it to my Mum, not the kinky attraction of it mind you but instead wanted to know what is was made of. She said it was nylon and it came from the liner in my pram. Well that explained a lot!

In fact it wasn’t the only association with nylon that my young mind had come into contact with. I had this cuddly dog toy my Gran had made, it had green fur and a zip which allowed access to the stuffing. I was curious one day and unzipped it. What did I find inside but all these black, brown and nude coloured things… yeah big surprise it was old pantyhose and stockings. Some were in pieces like a toe cap and part of the foot. I really liked the material and was totally bewitched by its stretchy quality and glossiness, but I didn’t pay that much attention to doing anything with it. Now I had that toy for a few years and I started getting erections. 

Since I loved the way the material felt I experimented by wrapping it around or over my cock. It was intense and the feeling blew my mind. It made me so hard and I loved stroking myself through the nylon. I know at some point I finally started to cum but I had no clue what the sticky mess was only that I felt dirty. Of course small soiled pieces like that were easy to dispose of. Later I even wore some of the intact stockings over my head and I became enamoured by the feeling of being wrapped up in something so sensual. I found some old elastic cord and used to tighten it around my neck which heightened the feelings. At one point I found a longer cord and tied it to my ankle so I could kick my foot and as I did so the cord tightened drawing the nylon in closer to my skin which made the masturbation even more exciting.

Of course to a kid my age I couldn’t explain or understand any of this. Sure I felt weird about it but that never stopped me doing it.

More and more I noticed nylon around me. I was always fascinated by seeing my Mum in her black pantyhose and black skirt when she dressed up to go to a concert. I aeady had a thing for her shoes and boots and had aeady tried those on often. In a way I think I wanted to be more like her and I think to this day I picked up a lot of her styling choices. The thing is my Mum would always leave stockings or pantyhose on the radiator to dry, so when nobody was around I found myself touching them. I think this was also how I eventually found myself raiding her lingerie drawer. I’m not proud of it because I was invading her personal space, but fuck me I couldn’t stop it.

When I wore her pantyhose for the first time I adored the sensation of my cock pressing against the nylon. I would sit in a chair or lie on my bed and gently touch myself. Something about nylon causing friction and sending tiny little shocks of static through my body thrilled me! I would walk around the house when nobody was home loving the way the nylon stretched and rubbed. I would marvel at the captivating shine, making my legs look so much better. Thankfully back then I had next to no body hair. As you might expect a couple of times I had accidents, either I got a run in the pantyhose or I made a mess due to my excitement. To my devious mind I realised that my Mum would likely think she caused a run herself. But as to the other problem I washed and dried them thoroughly and quickly and it put me off venturing into her lingerie for a while.

At about 12 I went into the attic and found a treasure trove. My Mum was part of a concert group where she would sing. All very amateur stuff but she kept old costumes and accessories that my kinky mind couldn’t resist. This was when I started fully crossdressing for the first time because there were also wigs and makeup. I fantasised a lot about being female and wanted it so much.

I found a suspender belt and some amazing stockings the like of which I have never seen again. I mean I’ve worn plenty of sheer stockings in my life before but nothing I’ve found compares to these. They were so delicate so I suppose they were vintage or something. I don’t know what they were made of, were they even nylon? To my mind now they felt more like the feel of slightly crinkly but super soft chiffon. They had back seams too which I loved. When I wore them it was like someone was kissing my legs so gently.

I got into other stuff too like my love of gloves, be they satin, velvet or lace. Later on leather and PVC. The sensation of masturbating with them on was absolute heaven.

All Tied Up

I wrote in my profile that I’m bondage curious but I’ve realised that I’ve always been doing it to some extent my entire life. Like I said I’m confronting things here that I didn’t remember ever happened and all the open-minded talk of it has awoken memories. Once I started dressing up more fully in feminine attire I felt ashamed. I loved it so much but hated how it might ruin my life if my parents or any of my friends knew. I started living in fear, became paranoid even. In my head I started to think what people would say “what a sick little boy you are who dresses up like a girl” and also “a stupid sissy like you should be beaten.” I felt I was somehow utterly wrong as a human being and that I should be punished for my perversions. The fact that my school was forever reading bible stories stating that men wearing female garments would burn in hell certainly didn’t help.

The first time I tied myself up it was using some of my Dad’s heavy leather belts. Seeing my nylon covered legs with the leather binding me tightly around my ankles and also my thighs made me feel so good. I felt safe but was also scared. I liked the feeling of being powerless and I think I was also excited about being caught. I also fantasised about someone having their way with me. Later I devised methods of wrapping the belts around me over the shoulders and looped across my chest.

I brought in an element of punishment too. When I was wicked my Dad would tan my arse with his slipper. I borrowed that slipper sometimes so I could whack my thighs with it and yell out saying how I was a “nasty little girl”. This explains why in my twenties I bought my first whip and I went from saying “nasty girl” to “evil, twisted slut”.

As time went by I discovered I could combine being tied up with my pantyhose kink. I found some old pairs of pantyhose in a box in the attic. I wore one pair normally and the other pair I chopped off the feet and made a hole for my neck and wore it as a nylon top. With a stocking over my head like some kind of kinky bank robber, I suppose in a way it was very much like a DIY Zentai suit.

Breath Play

Eventually I started messing with plastic bags. I loved the way they left me breathless and started to constrict as I ran out of air. It made me so hard and was an entirely new kink. I always dared myself to cum before I could no longer breathe. When I started smoking at 17 I even used to blow smoke into the bag first before placing it over my head and tightening it with either a cord or a double wrapped elastic band. A couple of times I nearly passed out, it was seriously fucking dangerous doing this in isolation but part of me didn’t care. Maybe I was trying to kill myself or maybe I was just so caught up in the thrill of how it made me feel and the thrill was everything.

I know I even experimented with coating some of the inside of the bag with that liquid polystyrene cement. The brush on kind not the squeezable stuff. Something about the fumes heightened my ecstasy. Pretty stupid.

I packed it all in after a couple of years especially after I read a story in the newspaper about a British politician who died with a bag on his head while dressed up in his finest lingerie. Funnily enough I still remember that guy’s name.

I must say even now I am very tempted to those breath play hoods but I know it’s not the sort of thing I should be messing with without a partner keeping an eye on me. Instead I bought a latex back zip hood with no eye holes or mouth hole, just two small holes for the nostrils. Something about wearing that occasionally helps me switch off to reality and I love the sensation of being zipped in it, as if its changing me like Venom's sentient suit. It doesn’t actually reduce sound, more like heightens it. I can hear my breath, feel the latex creaking, my heart pounding.

Whichever way I look at it this entire experience left me with a love of hoods and masks.

PVC

The first thing I ever saw that was made out of PVC was one of my Mum’s belts. These days you’d call it a retro belt. I loved the way it shined, I was fascinated by the fact it was always smooth to the touch, so very glossy. It also had this subtle smell too which stirred something in me.

The next time I saw that material it was on television. Some thriller with hookers in it and I was captivated by black patent thigh length boots, shiny miniskirts and mini dresses. Best not mention hookers too much since I’ve long had a dark fantasy about being one. I loved seeing PVC gloves too. So sensual but also wicked and trashy.

I became obsessed with the idea of getting a pair of boots like that throughout my teenage years. So I made my own. A couple of shiny refuse bags wrapped around my legs and tied with a couple of black elastic headbands or something which I found. Pity they had no heels but over the nylon I was wearing they felt really good. Of course the day I finally got a real pair was something I’ve never forgotten and they just felt so right. The creaking sound is divine as is the way they constricted my legs and that shine, oh my so incredible!

I have a whole bunch of PVC stuff and I want more. But something about it has some weird power over me. I honestly feel I change and adopt some kind of dominatrix attitude. I say all kinds of things out loud that both shock and turn me on. I think it turns me bitchy. In those moments I feel capable of fulfilling ever single desire I have and not feeling any shame about it. It gives me confidence I guess. Leather does that too to an extent maybe it’s about me feeling that I'm slipping into a role. I don’t know.

I’ve got a few other kinks such as latex, extreme footwear, chastity and dollification. I also have abduction and brainwashing fantasies, but I’ve aeady written a lot so I might cover that some other time.

And that dear readers is the first time I’ve ever mentioned any of that stuff. I thought I’d take such closely guarded secrets to my grave. I guess I’m no longer as afraid as I used to be and sharing has taken a huge weight off my mind. Sorry it was so long, got carried away.
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#35
(23 Aug 2018, 16:29 )TightSlip Wrote: I wish I had the power to do the following at will...
It would be nice to have such a siddhi, especially if it would require spending only a little bit of energy 😉
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#36
Let's link these threads together, since they are related: Self-bondage, fetish and children <- this thread is about the first "exposure" to bondage or self-bondage.
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#37
(23 Aug 2018, 00:30 )TightSlip Wrote: I’ve updated my narrative with my first experience with a “wet & messy” kink (coincided with my first “wet dreams”). I also added some pics which I think represent my feelings of discovery.

It's nice to know that other people have that wet and messy kink. Just seeing pics like that make me aroused. You can kind of create the slime by using corn starch and water, the more corn starch you add, the thicker it is. Although you should probably do it over a place where you can clean up easily. Feels really nice too.
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#38
For me I never even understood normal. Ironically due to poor sex ed. The first thing that ever clued me in to bondage was a scene from Pokémon, due to lag I got to watch cofagrigus wrap up some character and watched her struggle for a moment. Now at that time I had no idea about gender but for some reason I liked that. One day I don't remember how but I was googling about rope. Oops.

Things started spiraling out much faster at that rate, only limited by privacy and finance I started with belts and rope and even fashioned my first ball gag from a bouncy ball. Back then I still had no concept about sex or masturbation so that was purely for bondages sake. My first leap truly into fetish was once I grabbed a few of the free condoms (antichild policy+aids problem meant free condoms above the mailbox in buildings) available and used a massage stick with the long thick curved handle. Omitting the rest.

Only another two years later would I discover masturbation and like the previous posts it happened to be in a very convenient method. Simply lying down on a hard surface with a hardon and concentrating my weight onto my penis made me ejaculate. Back then it was convenient but it became a big problem quite quickly. I liked hogties but simply being in that position caused me to orgasm and thus I needed a solution. Chastity cages.

Nowadays I understand it much better and hope to find someone who understands someday. Just like Tinker D though I still plan on building machines to do the job. Personally not sure why you guys believe it will be so difficult. Assuming you have cuffs locked onto you you can simply use wires to pull yourself into position. I still plan on building fancy stuff because of the aforementioned privacy concern meaning anything I build has to be self contained
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