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From 'normal' to 'kinky' – a personal review of my fetish development
#21
I’m really appreciating the other narratives in this thread. I hope you enjoy my own contribution! -tightslip00

The Beginning

My earliest memory was at about 8 or 9 when I was given a set of those empty pantyhose "eggs" to use as a toy. I was trying to build some kind of little "moon base" or something and I didn't have enough "domes" to finish my little project. I remember that my mom had a few more of these "eggs" in her room so, I went in there and helped myself. Fortunately for me (as in "me" of today), the "eggs" I found still contained un-used pantyhose. After popping open several eggs, I had built a little mountain of pantyhose which I then tried to scoot off the side of the table into the laundry basket. As I grabbed the pile, I was amazed at the softness and the strechiness of each pair. I knew that women wore pantyhose every day and I remember thinking that it must feel really good to have them on. Sliding my arm into one of the legs absolutely confirmed this fact. Afterwards, I remember taking a pair into my room and hiding them under my matress for later when everyone was in bed.

I didn't know why I wanted to put them onto my legs, but I guess I wanted to see what properly wearing them was like. It really wasn't a sexual need at that point, but I think it was just plain curiosity. That night (and this is burned into my mind) I quietly got out of bed and put them on. I remember standing there in the dark of my room with the feeling of pantyhose wrapping themselves around my legs and bottom. I'm not sure what other emotions were going through my head, but I think that I felt a little embarrassed. I remember quickly taking them off, hiding them back under my mattress and then later adding them to the pile of laundry.

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First Orgasm

At about 10 years of age, I remember that I was cleaning my bedroom. A few toys had fallen down between the wall and the side of my bed. I remember scooting the bed away from the wall so I could retrieve the toys and then crawling over the top of the bed. As I was reaching down I slid part way down the gap and got stuck so that the rigid edge of the mattress was smashing right up against my penis. I remember not wanting to move for a few moments as a pressure built up that felt pretty nice. I stayed in that position until my head started to throb from being upside-down.

Later in the day, I was still thinking about what I felt on my penis as the mattress pressed against it. By this time, I had also been regularly borrowing pantyhose and trying them on at night. I definitely knew that my penis was supposed to get hard when I had to pee, and I had discovered that it got hard whenever I had the pantyhose on. Coupled with what I felt on the bed, I wanted to see if wearing pantyhose while also pressing against my penis would make everything feel even better.

That night I had another pair of pantyhose tucked under my matress at the ready. I put them on and then tried to lay myself across the edge of the matress again. Unfortunately, I couldn't get the angle just right and so I moved to laying on the floor on my tummy. I put both of my hands over my penis and used that bit of extra pressure while laying on top of them.

I remember pressing harder and harder as the feelings grew stronger and stronger. I remember the moment when my muscles started automatically spasming. It felt like a really nice clamping sensation that was incredibly strong. I don't think I've felt ejaculation contractions that strong since that time, but maybe it was just the first instance which was so memorable. Anyway, I rolled over and looked down and saw that I hadn't peed or anything (I later found that semen wouldn't come out until a few years later). I had no idea what happened and I was a little scared. I took off the pantyhose, hid them, and then went to the bathroom to make sure that everything was okay down there. Everything seemed totally fine, so I went to bed.

I remember that I regularly repeated the process of putting on pantyhose and then laying on my hands until I got those "clamping sensations" under my penis. Since it seemed to not cause harm, and it felt really good, I kept doing it as much as I could.

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First Female Bathing Suit

I think I was about 11 when my slightly older female cousin visited during the summer. I remember going to the local pool for a swim with her and noticing that she didn’t have a penis as she wore an orange tank bathing suit. I’m not sure why that fact hit me right at that time, but that’s when I really studied how the material of her bathing suit snugged between her legs. I was fascinated how it dove down her flat tummy and smoothly disappeared between her legs, only to reappear as it covered her bottom. The line of material swooping up and over her hips was also fascinating since it made the length of her legs really pronounced. I also noticed that I could see a little bit of youthful pubic hair peeking above the gusset since the material of the bathing suit couldn’t totally hide what was underneath. I remember being totally transfixed.

Anyway, once we got home that afternoon, we all changed clothes and got ready for dinner. Once my cousin had finished changing back into her clothes, I snuck into the bathroom she had just exited. I found her orange swimsuit and quickly tucked it into my favorite hiding place under my mattress.

That night, my heart was pounding as I snuggled myself into her bathing suit. I remember walking around the room and looking at myself in the mirror as I enjoyed the tugging/tight sensation on my penis and bottom. Remembering exercise videos I’d seen, I took off the swimsuit and put on one of my standby pair of pantyhose. I then put her swimsuit back on and then gazed at my body in the mirror. I remember thinking that it felt really good to have everything snugged and tugged. This was also the first time that I connected what I’d done with the response from my stiffening penis. 

Yes, I repeated my technique of laying on top of my hands to make those nice “clamping” feelings happen again, all while wearing the entire getup. Before she left a few days later, I had made sure to stuff her bathing suit back into her duffel bag. Nobody was the wiser.

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Adolescence & First Cum

I remember the first time that I had semen appear. My pre-teen and teenage years brought about real ejaculations. This was also the time that I had started to notice girls and the new and pleasant shapes that they were starting to attain. 😊 I had gotten into flipping through the lingerie sections of the big department store catalogs and admiring the women in teddies and stockings. I would take the open pages into the bathroom and then press my crotch up against the countertop as I studied their images to orgasm. I'd been fully experiencing the pleasure/euphoria/release of orgasm for a while now, but nothing had "come out" of my penis yet. I remember one time that I was sitting in the bathroom and looking at pictures and started pressing on my crotch with my fingers. I noticed that a lighter touch or even stroking made the pleasurable sensations appear even more quickly. I remember leaning back and using my thumb and two forefingers (thumb on top and fingers underneath) as I gently stroked my self. I remember getting into such a frenzy that I didn't stop and decided to see what would happen if I took it all the way like I usually did when laying on top of my hands. I remember going over the edge and feeling the nice pulses course through my crotch and penis. When I looked down, there was a little drop of slippery fluid on the tip of my penis. I touched it with my index finger and saw that it was really slimy. I'm pretty sure that I "broke something" inside of me and I subsequently freaked out.

Weeks later, the urge to try again grew to the point of "risking" another attempt. I hadn't seen any other problems since that day when the semen first appeared, so I thought it was going to be okay. I got the same page of the lingerie catalog open and I set myself up just like I had before. I started the rubbing just like before and quickly went over the edge. This time there was substantially more semen at the tip of my penis and it even slowly dribbled down the side of my shaft. Since nothing seemed to hurt after everything was said and done, I figured that whatever “this” was, it would be okay to repeat.  I was totally enchanted that I'd “discovered” something that nobody else had and so I kept my activities a closely guarded secret.

As I enjoyed myself more frequently, the quantity of semen I disgorged from my penis was ever increasing. As a future engineer, I devised a toilet paper "condom" that I could wrap around my penis to capture the semen without making a mess. During this time I had also been wearing pairs of pantyhose which conveniently held my little contraption in place and allowed me to massage or press myself into delight very easily.

Show Content

First Non-Nylon Perversion

During my early teenage years, I started experiencing my first "wet dreams". I remember waking up a couple of times finding a little mess on my sheets but unable to remember what had caused them. Later on, I started remembering my dreams and one in particular kept recurring... 

The dream started with me seeing some people climbing out of a pool of greenish, oily liquid. As each one stood up, their eyes opened and showed no irises or pupils. Long strings of spaghetti-like growths came out of their skin and as they lengthened, the streamers produced more of the liquid. The people started groaning and grabbing at their crotches as they fell to their knees while they changed.

I remember waking up very shaken, feeling as if I had a nightmare. Noticing that I had a partial erection, I decided to roll over onto my hands and cause one of those "good feelings" to happen in order to clear my mind and get back to sleep. That did the trick.

A few weeks later, I had the same dream again, but this time "I" was pushed into the pool of liquid. I remember climbing out as the others in the earlier dream had. I looked down at my self and saw that I was naked and started to grow those spaghetti-like streamers all over my body. As these new growths lengthened they disgorged more of the oily fluid. Most of all, I noticed that my penis was growing into a large version of one of these "streamers". As it did, I grabed my crotch and fell to my knees (as the others had) as a very nice feeling started to build up in my groin. I woke up at that point with another erection, but no mess in my sheets. I repeated my steps for release that night and again fell asleep. This dream happened in the exact same way several more times, stopping right at the part when I fell to my knees. 

Several months later I had set myself up to sleep while wearing several layers of pantyhose along with the front of my crotch stuffed with my makeshift toilet paper "condom". That night I had the "slime monster" dream again (as I had come to internally refer to it). This time, as I fell to my knees at the end, had the conscious ability to force myself to "endure" the building pleasure. I really wanted to find out what would happen to my changing body and penis. As I looked down at myself, my penis grew longer and longer as it's tip opened up to the diameter of it's shaft. As it did so, the pleasure in my crotch bloomed in to what I'd later come to recognize as full orgasmic pleasure. My penis flopped to the ground and began pumping large quantities of the green oily liquid. I fell to my back and I could see myself from the outside as I looked like some kind of mass of human-shaped spaghetti oozing slimey green oil. It looked like an invisible person was performing harsh CPR on my crotch as what had been my penis coughed out more and more of the oil. It was at this point that I woke up.

I rolled out of bed and felt around my body to reassure that I was still me. I pulled off the layers of pantyhose as well as my little cum-catching contraption. It was at that point that I noticed that I'd filled the inside of the thing with my own (albiet milky) goo.

This was the start of my fascination with the concept of either changing into something made of slimey goo, or being covered all over with it. 

As time went on, I would waste large bottles of hair conditioner as I squirted tons of it over my penis and then smearing all over my crotch and body. I even started figuring out ways to concoct my own recipies for slippery goo which I would then smuggle into the bathtub and cover myself with.

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Young Adult

Okay, so I evidently led a sheltered life and later figured out that my "big discovery" of “nice feelings” in my crotch was known to every other horny guy out there. By this time I had a substantial collection of pantyhose of my own. This was the time that I had started wearing multiple pairs at a time while masturbating and my kink for being wrapped up tight had also expanded to other articles of clothing. My favorite thing to do at that time was to put on 4 or 5 pairs of tights and then up to 20 pairs of "tighty-whitey" briefs all at the same time. I would then waddle around my room as I enjoyed the feeling of my cock and balls being firmly smashed as my crotch and ass were wrapped as if a vice was compressing me. I loved rolling around on the floor as my legs were helplessly forced apart by the many layers of briefs. I'd then usually finish myself off by using one of those powerful/deep massagers right against the front of my crotch until deep inside my cock spasmed within its confines.

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Today

After finding the Internet, my kinks multiplied. My “meat & potatoes” is always pantyhose and encasement. I've branched out into other areas such as anal play, slime (wet & messy) and a new appreciation of seeing strong, erect cocks locked in rings and/or being e-stimmed to ejaculation. I've only started playing with plugs, but I've realized that I've been missing out for quite some time. I have a couple of "Ass Spark" cock & ball rings which have a ball-plug attached. I also have a beginner's inflatable plug which I recently tried and really liked. I'm not at the point of wanting anything phallic penetrating and then pounding me back there, yet.

After finding Like Ra’s site I’ve really gotten into appreciating the MtF transformation fetish. I’ve been reading fiction based on the topic and I’ve also found myself strongly fantasizing about wearing female-form catsuits and or other fetish wear. I’m really liking stories which include mind-control and transformation scenarios which involve a subject unwittingly donning a pair of cursed pantyhose or being infected or corrupted by a chemical or slimey goo. The past couple months have seen a radical increase in my libido, almost surpassing the level of my teenage years.

Anyway, my most developed (depraved) fetish scenario at this stage is to dress up like "Latex Model Boy" (please Google him and also see the attachments below!). I want to feel what its like to be encased in a complete heavy-rubber catsuit with large breasts, plug, and high heels. I want to have my erect cock straining with anger and hungry rage as it drips long strings of precum for everyone to see while my face is hidden behind a full hood & mask. I'd then like to have my wife dressed up exactly like I am and then we fuck our brains out as we dribble hot slippery lube over our latex bodies. A naughty extension would be to find a way to build a custom harness which would lock our bodies together in helpless/perpetual copulation. Our bodies would then be hung from the ceiling as we were vacuum-sealed in thick black rubber. All that anyone would see from that point would be a writhing mass of rubber which vaguely resembled the shape of a man and woman, face-to-face, arms and legs locked around each other, forever fucking. 

Being tightly bound together, with no hope of release and no recourse but to fuck, would be simply divine.

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My wife and I have had sex a couple of times while we both wore pantyhose. She said she "kinda liked" it, but I could tell she wasn't so sure about me wearing them. Since that time we've agreed to start trying more "kinkier" things in the bedroom. I'm taking it slow and I doubt we'll ever get to the point where I could realize my little fetishy fantasy with her, but a guy could always dream, right?

Anyway, thank you to everyone in this group who has been so nice and welcoming!
Reply
#22
I think I need another account to be able to "Thank" at least twice 😁

(... cool idea, actually ... 😉 )
Reply
#23
(22 Aug 2018, 00:13 )Like Ra Wrote: I think I need another account to be able to "Thank" at least twice 😁

(... cool idea, actually ... 😉 )

Thank you Ra! Your comment really means a lot to me. I’ve added a little more detail to my narrative which I hope everyone will enjoy.

FYI: I’m still rock hard and dribbling after writing/updating all of that. Just thought you should know...
Reply
#24
Just in case, a related thread: https://www.likera.com/forum/mybb/showthread.php?tid=76
Reply
#25
(22 Aug 2018, 02:06 )Like Ra Wrote: Just in case, a related thread: https://www.likera.com/forum/mybb/showthread.php?tid=76

Thanks for the link. It’s really interesting to see how many of the users’ experiences paralleled my own. Especially how early contact with pantyhose seems to invariably trigger the development of that particular fetish. I’d venture that a good proportion of the male population probably secretly harbors similar desires to play with and or wear pantyhose.
Reply
#26
I’ve updated my narrative with my first experience with a “wet & messy” kink (coincided with my first “wet dreams”). I also added some pics which I think represent my feelings of discovery.
Reply
#27
(21 Aug 2018, 20:45 )tightslip00 Wrote: After finding Like Ra’s site I’ve really gotten into appreciating the MtF transformation fetish.
Ah, so it's not only me, then? 😁
Reply
#28
(23 Aug 2018, 01:02 )Like Ra Wrote:
(21 Aug 2018, 20:45 )tightslip00 Wrote: After finding Like Ra’s site I’ve really gotten into appreciating the MtF transformation fetish.
Ah, so it's not only me, then? 😁

Nope 😁
Reply
#29
(23 Aug 2018, 11:00 )B1u3 Wrote:
(23 Aug 2018, 01:02 )Like Ra Wrote:
(21 Aug 2018, 20:45 )tightslip00 Wrote: After finding Like Ra’s site I’ve really gotten into appreciating the MtF transformation fetish.
Ah, so it's not only me, then? 😁

Nope 😁
<moan>

I wish I had the power to do the following at will... [gif]

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Reply
#30
An interesting history. From my own experience I think there is an evolution of sexual preferences from 'straight' or 'vanilla' towards more 'kinky' or 'perverted' sexual behaviour. In my case, for sure, there was a strong 'driver' through exposure to pornography. I might even say it is an addiction.
I'll explain my own sexual development and see how that matches others of my age group - I'm 50+ now.
I remember my first sexual feelings (although I didn't know that was what they were at the time - it just felt REALLY good). I was 7-8 climbing up the climbing frame in the school playground. I would wrap myself around the metal bar for as long as I could hold on, the feeling was soooo good.
I also remember the first time I masturbated. It was in the bath. It felt so good. But then I felt so BAD because the foreskin became super swollen - I didn't use soap to lubricate, and rubbed too hard. I was so scared that I would need to tell my Mum about it! But after a couple of hours it went back to normal, and I've been hooked ever since.
The key lesson here was 'lubrication'...smoothness to help the process. I learned my lesson.
After that I quickly evolved from soap to the smoothness of my sister's or mother's nylon slips, nighties, tights, etc. in the laundry basket, and later out of their underwear drawers.
As far as I remember there were no fantasies or visual stimulation. It just felt good rubbing and that was enough.

As for actual physical contact with girls, the first experience I remember was at about the same time. My neighbours had twin kids - boy/girl - a couple years older than me. They used to like to play 'hide & seek'. The girl liked me to 'hide' under her dress. She would sit on my face while her brother 'looked' for me. At first she had panties on, later on - not. I've always loved that game. The punishment for being 'found' was to accept the 'dare' - in this case to rub the boy's cock. For some reason I was always the one 'hiding' and 'losing'. It didn't really mean much, but I loved being under her dress - and I still love face-sitting.

Then I found a novel hidden in my brother's room. It was about a young black man in the time of slavery in the south of the USA. He was free, but was kidnapped by white slavers. A very erotic tale of sex and violence. Of white women using their slaves (men and women) for sex. Of black men whipped to death because they had supposedly 'raped' a white woman. Whipped to death while the woman stands right there watching.
This book brought with it the power of fantasy in sex. An introduction to BDSM. Interracial sex. And - a favourite fetish even today - Femdom. Women sexually using and humiliating men. But, did the book influence me, or was it aeady 'in' me?

In my early teens I developed my taste for visual stimulation - stealing soft porn magazines from shops. Sneaking into 'X'-rated movies. Jerking off as often as I could get it up.
I also experimented with basic self-bondage. Tying myself up and lying on my belly, fucking pillows, my cock buried in tights or another smooth material.
From when I was 16 I had some extra money coming in from jobs - and I started buying real porn magazines from Holland through the post. Anything and everything was possible to order, and I progressed into harder and harder BDSM.
By the time I was in full time work I was paying for hard bondage sessions, Femdom sessions, 3-somes. One prostitute, having tied me to a bench, had another male client jerk me off while she watched. Another (black) prostitute fucked me with a strap-on, again tied down.
Pornographic subjects that initially I had been disgusted at (gay sex, bestiality, torture, incest, worse) slowly became more and more acceptable - even exciting.

I didn't really ever have girlfriends my own age. I met older women. Middle-aged women excited me. Why? A fetish for my mother? I don't think so. It was just that older women wanted sex, not a relationship. Sex and more sex. Oral, even anal. Handjobs. They were happy to indulge a young man's fantasises - especially when he loved being dominated and used. I went with a LOT of married women. Women who liked to wear silky clothes and sexy heels. Women that were happy to fuck while still dressed. To let me fondle and play. Who would let me suck their silky panties while they fucked me.
By the time I first got married - 23 years old - I was excited to be a cuckold. My wife had no worries telling me of her affairs (with men or women) and I saw her several times performing with other men - the first I saw was in our kitchen just after we were married. The man was leaning against the cupboard, eyes closed, as my new wife knelt beside him, jerking him off. She laughed when she saw me watching.
Now there is little that I find too disgusting - scat, blood - that's about all. And my porn history has preceded each new 'development' in my tastes. Is it leading me like a drug addiction, or am I just getting bored and looking for more perverted stimulation?
Possibly the most troubling development is that as I get older I find myself - finally - being attracted to younger women. Younger and younger. It is now a big fantasy of mine to be dominated by young schoolgirls. Odd - since when I was at school I preferred the teachers. Now, at the age of those teachers, I prefer the students.
Is this very different to your 'evolution'?
Reply


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