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Uncertain and uncomfortable with my fetish
#1
As a new member, I guess I should introduce myself. I'm a male from Singapore and like many people here, I have a fetish for hosiery (anything above the knee, nothing too lacy, preferably tights/pantyhose). I love it when women (especially friends and relatives) wear them. I love how they turn legs from a piece of flesh and bone to an item worthy of admiration. And I love how they feel in the few times I've worn them.

Yet, every time I fix my eyes on a woman's silken legs, or surf the net looking for photos, drawings or videos of women (bound) in pantyhose, I would always feel a sense of envy, emptiness and even guilt. The thoughts of "Why can't I be a girl so that I can put on a pair of nude tights and show the world that I've got Leggs?" or "Why can't I be a damsel in distress, bound and gagged (or better, encased) in pantyhose?" or "Why am I thinking about these things?!" or even "Why must the weather here be so bloody hot and humid that I can't wear tights under my pants?!" would be present in my mind on an almost daily basis.

Looking at pictures, watching videos, reading and writing fiction can only do so much. And I guess my situation doesn't help things much. On one hand, Singapore, apart from being one of the worst places to wear hosiery apart from ankle socks, is one that is really conservative. Our government often stinks of "family values", and until recently, anal and oral sex was banned (apparently). I don't think many of my compatriots would approve of a gay couple, let alone a guy in tights.

On the other hand, making my fetish known to my friends and family would simply wreak havoc on my social life. Considering the teasing I've received from my closest friends (done in jest of course) after I've admitted my preferences for bondage in a game of "Truth or Dare", I think I would be seen as a complete weirdo and a social parish if they saw me in a pair of wolfords. And don't get me started on my family, they would be devastated, especially when I'm the only son (the most treasured item in any Chinese family).

And I guess I have to take into account my own self. While I would love to be bound with my waxed (or better, lased) legs sheathed in nylon, I also have a masculine side to my personality. I want to amaze girls with a lean and fit body, especially in uniform since I am going for my national service in a few months, and I'm not sure where pantyhose would fit into the image of me as a human war machine (maybe underneath my fatigues?).

With these three factors taken into consideration, I guess I'm not a very happy man. I've tried to eradicate my fetish. And embracing it is not going to be an easy, if not impossible road to take. For now, I guess my inner self is bound, gagged and encased under tight layers of want, dissatisfaction, despair and even anguish. This is one form of bondage I really want to get out of.

I wonder if there are people like me out there on this forum? I'm not sure how that will help, but I guess it beats being alone in my predicament. And while this post is not aimed at garnering any sympathy for me (I'm not comfortable with being a "pity-whore"), but I guess any cry for help would result in this one way or another.

To anyone reading this, I thank you for taking out the time to read a complete stranger's ramblings Smile
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#2
(20 Dec 2012, 18:44 )runproof Wrote: The thoughts of "Why can't I be a girl so that I can put on a pair of nude tights and show the world that I've got Leggs?" or "Why can't I be a damsel in distress, bound and gagged (or better, encased) in pantyhose?"
Because if you were most likely you wouldn't like it Big Grin http://www.likera.com/blog/wp/archives/10872

(20 Dec 2012, 18:44 )runproof Wrote: Why must the weather here be so bloody hot and humid that I can't wear tights under my pants?!"
Yeah, give me +21-24 365days a year....

(20 Dec 2012, 18:44 )runproof Wrote: writing fiction
Post here!

(20 Dec 2012, 18:44 )runproof Wrote: I don't think many of my compatriots would approve of a gay couple, let alone a guy in tights.
Not quite: http://www.likera.com/blog/wp/archives/394 (Don is from SIN)

(20 Dec 2012, 18:44 )runproof Wrote: I think I would be seen as a complete weirdo and a social parish if they saw me in a pair of wolfords.
Wolford haters among us? I also find them boring (except some models). Try Falke or Platino, your friends might like them ;-)

(20 Dec 2012, 18:44 )runproof Wrote: Chinese family
Great! Finally! We have someone who speaks Chinese in the forum! (Periodically we desperately look for someone who can translate from Chinese)

(20 Dec 2012, 18:44 )runproof Wrote: And I guess I have to take into account my own self. While I would love to be bound with my waxed (or better, lased) legs sheathed in nylon, I also have a masculine side to my personality. I want to amaze girls with a lean and fit body, especially in uniform since I am going for my national service in a few months, and I'm not sure where pantyhose would fit into the image of me as a human war machine (maybe underneath my fatigues?).
He-he, I train 4-5 times a week (martial arts) and I see no reason not to wear pantyhose or catsuits outside: see http://www.likera.com/blog/wp/archives/8788 (zentai and taekwondo) or:

http://www.likera.com/blog/wp/archives/tag/fetish-gyms
http://www.likera.com/blog/wp/archives/tag/fetish-sport

(20 Dec 2012, 18:44 )runproof Wrote: With these three factors taken into consideration, I guess I'm not a very happy man. I've tried to eradicate my fetish. And embracing it is not going to be an easy, if not impossible road to take. For now, I guess my inner self is bound, gagged and encased under tight layers of want, dissatisfaction, despair and even anguish. This is one form of bondage I really want to get out of.
I've tried to describe it here: http://www.likera.com/blog/wp/index.php?...e%22+outer



(20 Dec 2012, 18:44 )runproof Wrote: I wonder if there are people like me out there on this forum?
No, you are on your own Big Grin

(20 Dec 2012, 18:44 )runproof Wrote: but I guess any cry for help would result in this one way or another.

Guess what? I have a post to answer this as well: http://www.likera.com/blog/wp/archives/13376 Smile

And, by the way ... WELCOME TO THE CLUB! Wink
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#3
I suppose, many forum members are quite lonely with their fetishes and exotic desires. It is nice to have forums like this because at least sometimes, you can talk about stuff here. The "no to fetish" might be stronger in Singapore than where I live (Hamburg/Germany), but we also have an effective "no" here, whoever reveals himself is considered a freak. In a way, this is very odd, because, as I found out, very many people seem to have fetishes, except they consider it as wrong as stealing in a supermarket. Must be a matter of education.
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#4
(20 Dec 2012, 20:04 )Like Ra Wrote: Not quite: http://www.likera.com/blog/wp/archives/394 (Don is from SIN)

I think he's from China. I remember seeing him in an article on e-mancipate once.

(20 Dec 2012, 20:04 )Like Ra Wrote: Great! Finally! We have someone who speaks Chinese in the forum! (Periodically we desperately look for someone who can translate from Chinese)

Don't keep your hopes up dude, Singapore's lingua franca is English, and I was ecstatic when I got a "D" for my A level Chinese.

(20 Dec 2012, 20:04 )Like Ra Wrote: No, you are on your own Big Grin

DAMN! That sucks.
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#5
First of all: welcome aboard runproof Big Grin
Second of all: I apologise in advance for the wall of text that I imagine I'm about to write.

Like Ra Wrote:No, you are on your own Big Grin
I'm not sure if this was in jest, but I'm going to say that I disagree anyway.
Through my years of using the internet, and browsing various forums like this one, I have come to realise this: Any thought you can think of, any idea you can plan, any sexually gratifying daydream you can possibly imagine, someone else has thought of it too.

I used to think that I was weird, ...hell, I still do..., but in regards to my fetishes, I have concluded that I am completely normal; as Strappado concurs: very many people have fetishes.
I would actually even go a little further than that and say that everyone has a fetish(es), they just don't want to admit it, ...probably because of the fears that you have mentioned, runproof.
No-one likes to be considered weird, no-one likes to be considered a freak, no-one likes to feel alone, and it's because of this that people refuse to accept their "perverted" thoughts.
Now I'm not saying that 100% of the worlds population is into BDSM, or latex/lycra/nylon, or anything, but they will have fetishes of some degree. Your average male, for instance, has a 'fantasy' about having sex with two twin females. This is highly regarded as 'normal' from where I'm from, but admitting that you are into latex (for example) is a big no-no. So what's so different between them? You could argue that one is a 'fantasy' and that the other is a fetish, as the very definition of a fetish is a sexual attraction to an inanimate object (latex in this case), but what, in the act of having sex with twins, is actually the sexually appealing part? The act itself? Or the duplicity of the situation (in all manner of it's meaning)?
Personally, I think it's the latter; If I think of being with twins, it's not the act that immediately comes to mind, but the fact that there are two identical girls involved. It's such an improbable scenario, that I believe it's either the improbability of it happening, or the spectrality of the mirrored participant, that harbors the most excitement. For some, I guess it could also be the incestuousness of it, which I believe you will find is also regarded as a fetish.
So while in society this example of a 'fantasy' is accepted as such, if you break it down, I would argue that it's actually a fetish. Just as it is to be attracted to breasts, or butts, or womanly scents, like most men openly accept to be.
If they aren't regarded as fetishes, then it's also not a fetish to be attracted to seeing someone dressed in latex.

Now I realise that I'm just being pedantic, and that this won't change the general consensus on the subject, but if you pick things apart, you can quickly see that it's all built on nothing but hollow extrapolations and so, should not be accepted/expected to be truly governing. But, unfortunately, it is.
As I said before, and as I've tried to demonstrate, everyone has a fetish of some sort, whether or not they like to admit it to themselves (or others). And if this society, that we all live in, was much more accepting, we would all find out just how far we are from being 'alone' with our thoughts. No-one would be regarded as weird. No-one.

Oh, and don't think that women are any different: 50 Shades of grey. Need I say any more?
It was the fastest selling book in the history of the planet, and was quickly coined as "Mommy porn", yet it's crammed full with fetishism...? They're a little hypocritical when the timing suits, huh?

I don't think societal beliefs will change any time soon, so in the mean time, when I encounter someone who thinks that fetishes are weird, I remind myself that they are either kidding themselves on, just to fit in (which I'll freely admit to doing myself, as I'm not as brave as I'd like to be), or that they still have a long way to go in 'discovering' themselves, which often leaves me feeling proud, knowing that I'm a step ahead from them in regards to sexual maturity/acceptance.
It might not help you like it's helped me, but I find it incredibly soothing.

Things might be different in your area, but here in the UK, there are no laws (that I'm aware of) that prevents one from interacting with their fetishistic instincts (on a personal basis), it's purely societal peer pressure, which is shameful. And while I can't preach about being brave and facing the world about it, I will offer my empathetic (not sympathetic!) ramblings and hope that you find solace from hearing that you are not alone, and that you'll persevere with your perverted pantyhose perusals. (alliteration ftw Big Grin)

I did warn you about the wall of text :p
/LLL
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#6
(21 Dec 2012, 07:37 )LustrousLaminaLover Wrote:
Quote:No, you are on your own Big Grin
I'm not sure if this was in jest, but I'm going to say that I disagree anyway.
(Errrmm... Just in case - it was a joke, because a decent half of all visitors are similar to what runproof described Wink )
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#7
(21 Dec 2012, 06:45 )runproof Wrote:
Quote:Not quite: http://www.likera.com/blog/wp/archives/394 (Don is from SIN)
I think he's from China. I remember seeing him in an article on e-mancipate once.
He claims to be from Singapore, but how can you be sure?

(21 Dec 2012, 06:45 )runproof Wrote:
Quote:Great! Finally! We have someone who speaks Chinese in the forum! (Periodically we desperately look for someone who can translate from Chinese)
Don't keep your hopes up dude, Singapore's lingua franca is English, and I was ecstatic when I got a "D" for my A level Chinese.
DAMN! That sucks. Big Grin
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#8
(21 Dec 2012, 17:02 )Like Ra Wrote:
(21 Dec 2012, 07:37 )LustrousLaminaLover Wrote:
Like Ra Wrote:No, you are on your own Big Grin
I'm not sure if this was in jest, but I'm going to say that I disagree anyway.
(Errrmm... Just in case - it was a joke, because a decent half of all visitors are similar to what runproof described Wink )

That's the only thing about responding in text, it's very difficult to convey sarcasm. Someone somewhere, in a moment of stupidity, will think you're being sincere...
Ach well, no harm done, my keyboard survived the onslaught that followed Wink

/LLL
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#9
Welcome runproof. You are not alone. And I can relate to you as well.
I love pantyhoes, I like wearing them every time I slip a pair on. I too wish I were female as well, But I am big, mean and ugly...... But I do dress up. Ex-Military, Ex-Carnny, Full time Arcade Tech. That last one is the real killer. I could lose a ton of work if I showed up in Nylons under a skirt (Yes, I love Skirts as much as I love Nylon and spandex), So you are not alone. You now have friends here, Feel free to visit anytime. And good luck in the military, I wish you all the best.
By the way, If our Host allows, E-mail me and we can chat.
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#10
Hey man, thank for you sharing. You have no reason to down on yourself. You are a good man with a special, but not that unusual, fetish. You will learn to love and respect it with the help of the kind people on this site. Smile
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