(02 Mar 2020, 19:45 )Selfexploration Wrote: The awareness path has been quite the trip itself indeed. I’ve only recently started finding that same inner calm watching presence when turned on sexually & having these experiences. Before the intensity of it all seemed to be too much and I’d get taken over, or perhaps I was still too weak in my power/ young in my journey. 

I listened to Bambi again this weekend. During it I found myself more aware of listening then before and found myself antsy to get to orgasm/ a bit “bored” as I knew what to expect. I even skipped parts of tracks. Orgasm wasn’t quite as intense as the first one I had when listening. My first thought after was “damn 3 hours of edging for an orgasm ain’t nobody got time for that”. I went to sleep thinking the programming isn’t working. 

I had a wonderful day of dressing on & off and hanging out my a creek microdosing on some mushrooms. In the evening I smoked a sativa j while 60% dressed (no corset/ butt plug) and Bambi came out full force. I think I somehow triggered myself. I’d collapse (safely & slowly) down. Waves of pleasure swept through my body. At first this scared me but *I* reassured myself that it’s okay to explore this for the night. There was a voice in my head telling me what to do- kinda like the hypno but it had its own script. I kept repeating “bimbo doll needs bigger breasts & butt plugged” I giggled at all the “b’s”. I also danced and swayed & moved my body in a sexual way- something I’ve always struggled with as a guy and have been trying to figure out why more and more in the last few months. I’d snap my fingers to the music and shake my butt without thinking twice about it. Walking became excruciatingly pleasureable as my penis was tightly tucked in my panties & with my legs tight at the knees & my feet swaying over thighs tight every step became mindless bliss. I did have to suck a dildo to change into a different corset as my hands would go limp when I’d reach back for the laces. After 2 tries I felt pleasure so powerful my knees went weak. While sucking the dildo I had absolutely no control. It felt like my head would get pushed down fully onto it, I gagged a bit but kept getting better at it every time. 

When I first started listening 3 weeks back I remember judging a neighbor for having a housekeeper come once a week. I also remember thinking how nice it would be to be a cute girl in tight leggings cleaning someone’s house. Last night my wish cane true as I became Alex’s (my male self) slutty housekeeper. I woke up & there were no clothes on the floor, faucets were sparkling clean, cabinets polished, stove clean & everything where it belongs. (A rare sight especially in the mornings) I remember the voice telling me to clean last night before I could receive any pleasure, that this will make Alex so very happy- I obeyed blissfully. I also wrote my male self a home improvements to-do list (fix window molding, paint wall, finish lighting project, etc) things I’ve been meaning to do for months but haven’t got around to. Bambi said there will be lots of pleasure in store for me next weekend if I get these things done. Im thinking of getting a French maid outfit & turning this into a literotica story lol. 

I think I remember most of what had happened & would periodically “self check in” with myself. Ended the night by listening to track 1, having a vibrator orgasm, taking everything off & falling asleep easily. Woke up in the morning & wrote this down. Had a lot of mental clarity & acceptance of my male self   

I couldn’t have imagined anything close to this experience when I first started listening. (Listened 4 times to 1-10 so far) It feels like over the last few years I’ve been mentally transforming my body into the female ideal (my tucked cock will orgasm just by rubbing it like a girl would her clit/ periodically I’ll use suction cups on my breasts that have some mass to them) so the hardware is there- but the software was lacking until now. Installing Bambi was like installing a secondary operating system. Not sure where this journey will take me but I sure am grateful for all the pleasure I’ve received thus far. 

Lastly, the barbi girl song has been stuck in my head all day. When I finally listened to it I felt so blissfully happy & content. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

sexualservant Wrote:I'm on the struggle bus. It's an equal parts terrifying and exhilarating 2 years since opening my eyes to this world. I feel like I'm losing control to something taking over my life and marriage from deep inside me. I've always been a cuck, but l lately find myself in chastity and panties that my 'wifestress' took me shopping to get. A lot of the time, it feels like I'm watching a movie from within my own body and subtle things are happening in my life that are hard to explain and I find myself falling deeper into sissyhood faster than I thought possible... Come to think of it, I didn't ACTUALLY think it was possible AT ALL. In truth, I guess I'm one of those who it honestly started out as a hot fantasy, a new way to masturbate. But now I simply can't stop. I'm becoming more feminine, I'm fucking myself almost daily, craving dick all the fucking time. I can't focus! I always told myself that implants and HRT would be the line...a deal breaker. But lately, I've been starting to fear it as an inevitability. That sense of lack of control... I can't describe it. Not good or bad... I can only look back in shock as things so naturally unfold... I've always had a strong mind. I'm stubborn and can handle business, but there's this... Super girly thing inside me that wasn't there before and I KNOW that if the right person came along (like in real life) and really took me one time, my manhood would be completely over! My wifestress and I would be slut sisters for life. I learned that the triggers actually work on me. I'd be helpless. That realization isn't just some 'hot fantasy' for me... I'm trying to keep from meeting guys around me because I know what'll happen. It's a fact. And that part terrifies me a little. I really thought all this was bullshit, but it's not. It really has had a noticeable effect on my life.

I forgot to mention the countless nights where I actually have sissy hypnagogia and dreams. I'm in totally uncharted mental territory.

random_ass_name42 Wrote:I've been listening on and off for 18 months or so. It never seems to go away completely. Like even after a month of not listening, the triggers still send tingle up the spine. I've tried a couple deprogramming tracks, at first they helped, but like a favorite dish, I keep coming back for more. I interested in sissy fiction, but definitely have become more interested in being a sissy myself. The idea of HRT or surgery is a fun fantasy, but does seem to look a bit more attractive after every listen. Similar to other commenters, I feel like if the right person arrive IRL, think I would fall easily to being a full sissy for them. My biggest is issue is I'm not physically sissy at all, 6'2, 350lbs, with a shaved head, so that seems to help keep me from falling to deep.

Also, I have talk to people in my area, but I'm very deep in the closet, and am terrified of irl intimacy, so not expecting to ever actually taste cock.

(27 Apr 2021, 09:37 )rebroad Wrote: Here's a nice review of BS...

(29 Apr 2021, 14:20 )BambiKassy Wrote: ... snip ...

So this is my experience with Bambi so far, I feel like I definitely started a jurney towards more feminization and more sexual exploration, but so far Im loving it.

(29 Apr 2021, 14:20 )BambiKassy Wrote: It felt great, I felt like I was finally free
...
I started exercising more and eating healthy. It had a real positive effect on my life.
...
I still had all the positive effects remain, I was still much more feminine and girly, kept up the exercise and dieting and took better care of myself.
...
My new healthy habits ramped up even more, I exercise two hours every day, and follow a strict diet. I also read more books, listen to more music and relax much more than before. I'm not stressing about everything anymore and feel so much better all over.
...
Bambi doesn't have all those weird and obsessive effects I read about from many other people.

(24 Apr 2021, 00:33 )Like Ra Wrote: Suggestions do not work.
It's funny to see hypnotists efforts to "suggest" ha-ha, it's a bullshit. All you need is given from the higher self - the rest is nothing. Trance is what IS important.
Trance keeps you in balance, trance pulls you out of the internal dialogue and external noise, trance make you concentrate on what you really need to concentrate upon.
From that perspective, aren't all those "evil hypnotists" simply ridiculous with an overblown self-importance?
. . .
Bambi contains too much of negativity, which might break the real trance state for those who are concerned about what they are willing for themselves.. But still, Bambi works. You can listen to Bambi with no issues - the results depend on YOUR REAL INTENTIONS and NEEDS!

(14 Feb 2021, 22:25 )Like Ra Wrote: Marta and Sylvia are not tulpas, they are guides in the current path of your emerging as a new person
Tulpas might be guides, but usually they are not.
Marta will show you how you can develop yourself.
The file you are listening is also not about tulpas. It's about guides.
Whatever you do you have guides.
The guides love you, the guides save you, the guides do not use you, the guides lead you.
Kei achieves similar results.
Daemon girl is a guide, not a tulpa.
Bambi is a guide, not a tulpa, Bambi shows you another "dimension", Bambi is not using your body to live her own life.
You are always in charge. But you can listen for advices. The more sensitive you are, the more information you are receiving, the more precise decision you can make.
Guides are whispering information in your mind, it just appears in your mind. Voices are optional. Guides can be totally silent, yet they can let you experience what you need to experience, they can show you, what you need to see.
Do not be afraid of listening to the so called "tulpa" files. You will learn something.

(29 Apr 2021, 15:13 )rebroad Wrote: Thank you for sharing! I don't know if you've looked into various suggested BS playlists, but I wondered what you thought to this one that a fan created:-

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1...MU0PeA8vYD

I had an acquaintance start off with BS using this, and they seemed to go very deep very quickly.

(29 Apr 2021, 15:46 )Like Ra Wrote: Bambi is a guide, not a tulpa, Bambi shows you another "dimension", Bambi is not using your body to live her own life.
You are always in charge. But you can listen for advices. The more sensitive you are, the more information you are receiving, the more precise decision you can make.
Guides are whispering information in your mind, it just appears in your mind.

(29 Apr 2021, 19:11 )BambiKassy Wrote: my bimbofication ... goals

(29 Apr 2021, 20:57 )Like Ra Wrote:

(29 Apr 2021, 19:11 )BambiKassy Wrote: my bimbofication ... goals

Do we understand the same under "bimbofication"?