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Full Version: Partners involvement in your fetish and how to tell others
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Found a couple of nice pictures on the subject. You never know... Probably, your partner is waiting for you first step? Maybe your partner does not know she/he likes it?

[attachment=51] [attachment=52]
I merged two threads together ("Telling others") since they are related.
I've been thinking about this myself - how much should I tell my partner?

She knows I like bondage (giving and taking) and that tight clothing excites me (she assumes it's when she's wearing it), so you'd think the next step would be easy... but it isn't.

Once or twice I've suggested something new and she's reacted badly (not throwning me out of the house badly, but surprisingly 'anti' the suggestion) - so I'm very reluctant to push things further.

I think that if you're lucky enough to have a partner who loves you as you love them then sometimes it might just be better to enjoy the relationship as it is, rather then go for a utopia that may not exist.

I'm sure she suspects I might tie myself up, once or twice the marks have shown and I've made some feeble excuses about 'laptop bag straps' or 'hauling a tree using rope' - but women are famed for their intuition!


Love the cartoons by the way!
Reminded of something I did last year.
I was on a military collectors camp out.
What we do, is get a group together and grab all of our military gear and go out on a week long camping trip. Other than my military communations gear, I run a 30 line Switchboard and a radio network, I brought some stuff to trade.
One night we were chatting and I stated that women were very lucky that they wear anything they want, and we men can't. Well, we did have a few women in our group, and somehow, I stated that we guys should be allowed to wear skirts like you women do. Well a challange was made, and one of the girls brought out a skirt and bet me that I couldn't last a day in a skirt and heels. I took that bet. And I did one better. I lasted she rest of the week, and she was made to eat Crow, a lot of Crow.
No, when I go to my friends house for dinner or drinks, I can wear mr skirts and be accepted.
After all, if you look at the 1938 movie "the drum", the Brits army were wearing skirts. Next year, I'll be wearing skirts/kilts without fear when I setup my radios again.
By the way, one of the girls stated that my legs needed shaving. Guess what's going to happen next year?

It's all fun, with a little fetish mixed in.
Indeed, bets is a good way to start doing something publicly, especially if you are aeady ready internally.
Yes, making a bet, or better, getting THEM to make the bet and you waffle a bit before you accept the bet.
After that, it's the world is yours. You can say after you win the bet, that feels good, maybe I'll wear this more often.

Worked for me, But that's me.
I told my last 4 relationships about my pantyhose and bondage fetish.

The first time was hard. After some years of a more or less unsatisying sex life, I found the courage to tell her about my fantsies of wearing pantyhose and dresses. She wasn't shocked or anything, she even bought a nice black miniskirt and a pantyhose for my birthday. But it did not work out, our sex life remained boring. She did not have any problem with my fetish but with me.

My lesson one learned: don't tell to late. It minimizes your chances.

The next girlfriend was not anything near my dreamgirl. In fact I don't think I loved her after the first couple of weeks. I told her pretty soon about my dreams and desires of pantyhose and bondage. She really loved me, and we had some remarkable sessions. But that did not help me to fall in love. I would say I used her all the way.

Next lesson learned: the love for my fetish is not enough. Some love besides that is also necessary.

The next one was my wife. I was madly in love and still I was able to tell her early on. The first lessons helped! She was okay with it, we did some playing around. But she never got the idea. Not that I did not tell her what I wanted, not that she did not understand my words, but she was never able to make anything out of it. The core of our problem was clear once we got our kids - she is unable to really change her perspective away from herself. No empathy, lazy as hell. She is not a giver at all. We had some nice sessions, I will never forget that morning completely encased, corsetted and gagged in my Fibrotex 10xl. But it was only rare, I always had to ask for it, and I had to direct each and everything. She was just too passive about it. And she nearly never wore pantyhose or stockings when we were together. I am pretty sure she thought I was not worth it. I doubt she ever really loved me (or anybody).

My lesson three: you need a loving and empathic other to really get something going.

Now to my actual realtionship. I know her for a very long time now, our kids were in the same kindergarden. We had breakfast together in a cafe for years, we talked and talked, she really knows me. Only recently we both realized we are in love. We ended our marriages, but it is still work in progress, only a few weeks old. I told her pretty much right away, I think it was our third time having sex. I told her I have a secret that she has to know about. She is a psychotherapist, so I asked her what she knows about fetishism. Well, she did not know much, so I tried to complete her knowledge until she could not hold it anymore. "Now tell me what is it?". I told her about my pantyhose dreams, my faible for bondage and female domination. She wasn't shocked at all, just said she has to think about it. The next time we met, she was wearing a nice pair of stockings and told me that it was not a problem at all as long as we love each other - which we really deeply do. In fact she wore pantyhose or stockings nearly every time we met ever since. She gave me some good spankings over her knees, says she can't wait to go out me wearing pantyhose as underwear and she wearing nothing under her skirt. We had that coversation about the strange japanese and their weird schoolgirl fantasies. She asked me if I would want her in a schoolgirl dress. I said hell no, the only one I could imagine in that dress is me. After a long good laugh she was all crazy about it, fantasizing me in that dress, lifting it in the front with my hard on.
Maybe I hit the Jackpot this time. I told her right away, I love her, she loves me, and she is very empathic and has a giving personality.
If only I could find that old drawing of exactly that - an ashamed guy wearind a plaid skirt, lifting it with his boner, and some obviously dominant woman sitting on the bed watching him. I know I had it. Does anybody have it?
(26 Dec 2013, 01:47 )Stoned Wrote: [ -> ]If only I could find that old drawing of exactly that - an ashamed guy wearind a plaid skirt, lifting it with his boner, and some obviously dominant woman sitting on the bed watching him. I know I had it. Does anybody have it?
Sounds familiar... Have you checked in this thread: ?
im married too. can you beleave it.. yes my wife dont want me as a man.
didnt need to tell anyone about my fetisch... everyone can see it anyway
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