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What is worse, being discovered doing self-bondage or...
#1
Considering various things, I have done in my life, I really wonder, if being discovered during SB is the worst thing that could happen to me, or if worse things have happened already.

Let's make the "being discovered" a bit more clear first. I have called police once, because I was hopelessly drunk and unable to find the keys to my handcuffs AND I was wearing a nice black lycra leotard. Of course I felt really uneasy when I called the police but when they arrived, they were really nice about it, this was not bad at all! I rather mean discoveries that involve people that you have to spend time with again and again, and who will enjoy using this knowledge to your disadvantage. This could be neighbours, family, colleagues, friends etc. (some people say, that friends would not do that, but others have thousands of "friends" on facebook", it is just an example anyway).

When I was younger, I eventually drove drunk, especially, when I was too drunk to consider better not to drive. One night, I left a party in the countryside and suddenly noticed, that I was going the wrong way. So I wanted to turn around. Unfortunately, there was a ditch right next to the street that I hadn't seen, and my car was stuck. I must have fallen asleep then, someone woke me up and told me it would be better to leave. So he took me to his house and asked me if there was someone would could pick me up. Eventually, I managed to remember the phone number of my mother, and so things went on. The car was towed away before police could find it, I kept my license etc. - all fine in theory. But this was the most humiliating experience I ever had in my life: I was so wasted, I could hardly communicate, I was merely helpless, not even able to think a clear though, put aside having my own will. That was the one and fortunately only day in my life, where I was a complete idiot - and I knew it!

Considering that memory, I still don't have a desire to be found while doing SB, but rather that, than having a similar experience again.

Your turn now...

PS: Don't worry about my drinking, I haven't been drunk for more than 10 years now Wink
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#2
It always depends. Who "discovered" you, what were you look like (clothes, bondage, plugs, etc), what that person knows about you, is he/she involved in any fetish/bondage activity, what relation you have/will have with that person, etc.

So, there is no a simple answer.

I can only guess what my kids know about me (see Self-bondage, fetish and children) and i was sort of discovered during my business trip (Business trip. Night-morning 1. Discovered!)
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#3
Well, for me, i can really say, being discovered is probably the worst thing, but it would be kind of a realife....

Worst case would be anyone in my family discovering me (apart from my brother, will explain soon) and especially my mum. I cant imagen needing to explain it all to them, especially as i recently brought lots of rope.... Every night i tie myself up in some way or another, always so i can lay flat, but if they come into my room like they commonly do then it wont be hard to catch me tieing my legs together with 12m of rope Wink

Now, as for friends, im sure they wont be much of an issue..... a few will want to rub it in my face, but thats what every 17-18 year old would do.... but they would understand and i think wont even be shocked that much...... (im not a normal kind of person as you can guess) but really i cant think of a scenario where they could discover me.... they never come around and i only do bondage in my bedroom.... In saying this i am planing an 18th birthday party where hopefully their will be a bondage game o.O


Now, for my brother, well he nearly discovered me, he is 26 and we use to shear a room, so i think he sort of clocked what i was doing at a young age, he might be shocked to find out im using rope now, but i don't think he will be shocked to find me tied up and woudent need much explaining, and knowing him he would probably leave me tied up for a bit for a laugh. But in saying this i don't want him to find out.


But is being caught really all the bad it is made out to be, if they understand you, yes their i a really embarrassing part where you got to explain everything and your not in the best of positions to do so at the time, but after that, then your free, you don't need to be worried about being caught, as they know....
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#4
I think "fear from the unknown" is the keyword. I suppose that pretty much every adult person in the western world knows about bondage and fetish. Eventually, you can read numbers like "10% of the population have tried BDSM" in the papers. One should expect, that out of 100 people quite a few would kill you. And think of homosexuals. Ok, in a dark street of a large city you should probably not wear a sign "homosexual", but many of them do not hide away at work or in their families - without serious trouble. Depending on the situation, "homosexual" could be worse than "fetishist". The only - but important - difference is, that homosexuals are today an accepted part of society, while fetishist hide away.

But there is another viewpoint: Would a "normal" man be happy being discovered while wanking? I think, most erotic activities are very private and it is considered embarrassing to be caught in the act. Even left behind traces, like a condome in the ashtray or torn underwear on the bed are best be avoided in any conversation with a third (or second) person.

Of course, men sometimes like to talk about having sex and tell success stories. I do not believe half of what they say, but anyway, the subject is rather "look how great I am" or, simply put "mine is longer than yours". Real sex is a very private affair and I am pretty sure, that most of the time, this is talked about only with a therapist. And talking about private affairs is always a breach of (self-) security, it changes, how you present yourself to others.
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#5
(31 Oct 2012, 00:30 )Strappado Wrote: But there is another viewpoint: Would a "normal" man be happy being discovered while wanking? I think, most erotic activities are very private and it is considered embarrassing to be caught in the act.
Very good point. Probably the key point in understanding why fetishists are not accepted - for some people it's like public masturbation.
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#6
(31 Oct 2012, 04:29 )Like Ra Wrote: Very good point. Probably the key point in understanding why fetishists are not accepted - for some people it's like public masturbation.

I wasn't thinking about the others, but about the fetishist. And the main point is being aroused in public. It is probably not the same in small villages as in large cities, but in large cities, fetishists are fairly well accepted. Except, of course, that people don't want to get involved or attached.
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#7
Interesting comments and observations, but going back to the very original question of: ‘Which is worse, being discovered doing self-bondage or…’

My thoughts on some possible scenarios and some personal experiences, remember I nearly always wear pantyhose and Lycra ‘female’ clothing in my sessions

• ‘…masturbating?’ – No big deal, just slightly embarrassing at the time. Being caught in self-bondage would be much worse!

• ‘…wearing female clothing?’ – Female clothing is easier to explain away (than ropes and female clothing!)

• ‘…stuffed with a butt-plug?’ – Embarrassing if it wasn’t my GF (she knows what I like) but not that bad.

• ‘…showing the rope marks after a session?’ – Very embarrassing, but still better than being found with the ropes in place! I’ve had to explain away some very odd marks in the past!Angel

• ‘…with an enema in place?’ – Ooh! Now that would be a close call about which one was worse. I think self-bondage might actually be less embarrassing.

• ‘…with all your fetish gear laid out on the bed?’ – I’ve had several close calls and think this is nearly as bad as using/wearing it. I had to think quickly to explain away a stray rope once!Angel

…and finally:

• ‘…being unable to free yourself and dying?’ - Duh! No brainer, someone find me please – I don’t care that much for dying! Sad

One final observation, based upon personal experience, to share with you all.

I have, quite a few times, gone out shopping whilst wearing pantyhose, butt-plug and lingerie – all covered by jeans and other ‘manly’ clothing. The experience is quite exciting and I nearly came once due to the working of my butt-plug as I shopped for more self-bondage toys in a local supermarket (cling film, tape, balls for gags, that sort of stuff), fortunately the layers of material hid my raging erection! Blush

But…

I was constantly imagining that the people around me could see my fetish wear (a glimpse of stocking?) Or maybe smell something (though goodness knows what), and that my secret was soon to be discovered.

Irrational? Yes!
Real at the time? Yes!

MJ
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#8
Right.... I can now answer this fully after yesterday..... NOTHING IS WORST!!!!


I was caught yesterday by mu mum..... she came home early from work (over 1 and a half hours early...) and found me with 2x 7m rope sitting on the bed and a 12m rope around my ankles... I would quite often sit on my computer with my legs bound and would get out of it 1 hour before she came home.....

She don't fully understand it, if she dose at all... She is saying that I need help and for some time she was saying that I might need to go onto medican but I think that was the shock making her think that... hopefully. She is no where as understanding as I thought she would be though, all she kept on saying to everything I would try saying is that this is rope and it can be dangerous.


Now, I am a natural designer, she knows i am, but she cant see that I am careful with how i tie myself and where i tie it.... All that I can say is I am lucky that she did not see the 2x 3m rope just barely hidden behind her.... Hope she dose not search my room but i bet she will..... If she dose she will find a lot more than just rope in here....Blush


I am not sure what to do now though...it is clear that I will stop for a bit, but for how long can I stop... this is part of me and I have been doing similar stuff for over 10 years now...
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#9
cloud, what age are you? I don't think, your mother is really concerned about the rope, even though you say, she kept going about it. Suppose, she already knew, what else you are hiding, would that explain it? No need to write about your personality here, but think about it and eventually talk to your mother at a better moment, or rather, let her talk first.
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#10
(04 Nov 2012, 15:34 )Strappado Wrote: talk to your mother at a better moment, or rather, let her talk first.
In some cases it's better leave it as it is. For example, my mother never dislike me wearing pantyhose. I know about it, she knows that I wear them, but there's no reason to talk about it.

Some things are personal and intimate and they are not to be shared with our parents, but rather with our partners.
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