Self-bondage, fetish and children. How and when did it begin?

[Boundup]

I am a practising self bondage ...guy

i came back early from a holiday due to illness to find my 14 yr old son had hogtied himself (very proffesionally i must say with a rope tying his big toes together linked to a gag) and also managed a self-torment (anchoring balls to a chair with knife/scissors jus a little way out of reach with an ice padlock to release him to get the knife/scissors with no back up available b4 the ice melted)

i was kinda impressed but should i be worried or should i allow him his own space

or even give him some tips?

some suggestions would be appreciated

[Kate]

difficult to reply really.

I was trying some simple self bondage, just knots and tying to bed when my father came into my room, and i was very embarrased.

He either didn't notice, or didn't comment, just asked a question quite naturally and left.

It would depend what your sons opinion of what he was doing was, for me, being 'caught' was a bad thing as i wasn't too sure how i felt about it yet, therefore wouldn't want any of my relatives to know.

Even now, where i'm bound at least once a week by my girlfriend, or by myself i couldn't see my having a chat about it with my dad, and i believe we are very close.

I doubt you yourself would want to be found in a helpless position by your father, who if he didn't know about it would probably think someone else has put you in that position rather than yourself.

Personally if i was in your position i'd leave him be, even give him space, he'll be grabbing time to try things whenever he can. As long as he had someway to get out, and he was able to breathe fine then it sounds quite safe.

This is drawn on my own experience, but i don't know if that applies to you, or your son.

[Boundup]

helpful reply from sum1 with experience

will do thanks

[Like Ra]

No replies???

i dunno what to do here

You asked a very difficult question. "Fetish and children", "Bondage and children", "Private life and children", "How old is old enough", etc.

I've been playing with bondage/fetish stuff since I was 5 or something. Once I was caught by my grandmother (at ~6yo) during my daytime sleep. Don't think she knew or knows anything about bondage, but I told her I was just playing, and she told me that binding is not good enough for the body. Later I even asked her to bind me ("I'm playing!" Kidnapped or something), but that was not, of course, serious.

Later I would occasionally borrow pantyhose, stockings, swimsuits from my mother/grandmother's wardrobe. I was dreaming about an adult person who could dress me in shiny pantyhose, swimsuit, tie me up and/or put me is a sack.

I bet my parents noticed me wearing/stealing pantyhose, but nobody told me anything and I was pretty happy about that. Though, I remember my mom's saying that if a man knows what good lingerie is - he is not a man... Probably, that sounds a bit homophobic, but I did not (and do not) care. They allowed me to live my own private life, more likely suffering inside, but I really appreciate that. I've grown up without the complexes.

Back to self-bondage. I would call it a risky sport. Perhaps, less risky and demanding that mountain-climbing, if properly thought over.

Did your son notice that you noticed? I would allow him to live his private life. If he did notice, you can probably advice him to be careful. I would not do anything what sounds encouraging, though.


-Like Ra

[Like Ra]

As long as he had someway to get out, and he was able to breathe fine then it sounds quite safe.

This is a very good point regardless who the bound person is.

[Boundup]

No he didnt notice

thought wud come here and ask about others experiences b4 dong naything

i think u r right - as long as it is safe its ok

ill give him his space

thnx for the comments and sorry about beng so impatient i was merely worried about my son

[wyldside]

Ahh, to be 14 again. My favorite thing at that age was to walk a mile down the road with a plastic bag stuffed in my pocket, get off the main road, hop a fence or too, toss my clothes in the bag, hang it on a tree branch or whatever was handy and then walk through the fields for a few hours. I grew up in the country, deep country.

It's probably best he doesn't know that you know, but, if you ever do "catch" him, don't make him feel like a sick pervert/etc... The decision to talk to you about this should be his, not yours. Think back to how awkward any kind of 'sex talk' was when you were suddenly cornered by dad... I don't have children and never will, the best i could suggest really is, "Son, I'm your father, if you ever need to talk to me about 'anything', don't be afraid to ask me."

There's some psycho-babble about the practice of bondage being an answer to sexual repression, a "release from responsibility"type of thing. That's something to think about in this situation.

[doubleflash]

I think that your son will be just fine. We all experiment.

The tricky bit will be to make sure he understands the safety aspects of SB. It's been a long time since I was 14, but I think that if my parents had explained something as simple as the danger of ropes around the neck, I would have tried it just to find out.

Maybe you could let him "find" a few of the excellent references on SB safety that are out on the net or in print. Jay Wiseman's "Erotic Bondage Handbook" is a good reference.

[bondagefreak.dea]

as a quick note I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who's been doing SB from a young age. Yet again my mom has always been fully aware of my interests and allows me privacy. Though I could never imagine talking with my dad about it.*yikes*

[Like Ra]

as a quick note I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who's been doing SB from a young age. Yet again my mom has always been fully aware of my interests and allows me privacy.

How did she notice?

Though I could never imagine talking with my dad about it.*yikes*

I can't imagine talking to my parents about my mmm ... private life either.