Is it okay if I don't want a bdsm master?

[PurpleVibes]

Hey I know I'm a newbie in the bdsm world, but is it okay if I don't want to have a master, and still be a part of the bdsm community?

I recently had a bad experience in my local bdsm community, I met a master and made an agreement but when the scene was played out some rules were broken, nothing too extreme, but I guess that my trust was broken so now I have zero desire to find a partner. This is a bit of a problem since I like self bondage, and I would need a partner if I ever want to try more difficult and restrictive knots.

Anyways, has this ever happened to you? How did you handle the situation?

[unicast]

You have found an unreliable person and you just didn't fit each other. Very common, unfortunately.

[Tinker D]

I have been doing self bondage for over 25 years. In that time, I was both a master and slave. As a master, and this is just me, when others came over, I pretty much tie them up, give them what they are looking for and off they go.
As a slave, I have only found one master I could fully trust. After a good year of playing, she just up and disappeared without any reason. I guess it wasn’t for her.
I did have one playmate, for over 20 years. We both like dressing up, tieing each other up, getting into straitjackets and having hours of fun.
He got married and that was that.
We still see each other, but our meetings are short and not so sweet. Don’t get us wrong, we both love each each other and all, we just can’t do anything fun.

Love to have a playmate again. And I’m still looking. But after writing this, I think I may have found someone. I don’t take hints very well, so if you want to get my attention, hit me with a brick.

[Like Ra]

I did have one playmate, for over 20 years. We both like dressing up, tieing each other up, getting into straitjackets and having hours of fun.

wow... cool!...

I don’t take hints very well, so if you want to get my attention, hit me with a brick.

😁 Same!

[Vixien]

Men usually don't take hints very well 😉

[Tinker D]

Not any more, we don’t.
Thanks to the ME-TO movement.

You may be hot, but I’m gun shy.

[vanessa_fetish]

Pretty much what was said - incompatible.

Plus something that has crept up in the lifestyle since 50 Shades - fakes who use BDSM to get laid etc. They really have little to no interest in BDSM, are not open to being mentored or learning how to do things in a safe manner (ie risk reduction) and truly have no clue about things.

I blame two things - the internet and as well the local communities. The internet has lots of info, but contradicting info. The community has let this stuff perpetuate, taking little interest it seems to truly address things.

Before the internet things were a lot safer. People had to vouch for others, honour meant something, we learned by being mentored, and we learned starting from the bottom up (old leather rules way). We self policed better. If someone stepped out of line like was done here, that person would be approached by others and actions taken (ie being barred from local events for a time, or if serious enough - ie rape, etc - total bannishment and being blacklisted with your name meaning diddly afterwards). Now, if we try to bring any of that back, the newbs whine and complain.

[Tinker D]

So true

[PurpleVibes]

hit me with a brick.

@Tinker D & @Like Ra Am I being too subtle?
   

[Like Ra]

@Tinker D & @Like Ra Am I being too subtle?
   

Let me guess...

o- She's looking for the bathroom?
o- She's asking for some salt?
o- She's trying to sell you something?