General TG, TS, TV and sex change thread

[Like Ra]

The hormones basically redistribute fat in the body, ie estrogen gives a male body wider hips, breasts, etc,

That's what I thought as well, but apparently, estrogen creates "beer-bellies" (for men, that is). My weight increased significantly for "no obvious reasons", since I started "playing" with Pueraria mirifica.

just that the fat accumulated in the needed areas (and reduced in others).

At least with Pueraria it does not look like the case, except for the breasts 🤣

The hormones basically redistribute fat in the body, ie estrogen gives a male body wider hips, breasts, etc,

That's what I thought as well, but apparently, estrogen creates "beer-bellies" (for men, that is). My weight increased significantly for "no obvious reasons", since I started "playing" with Pueraria mirifica.

just that the fat accumulated in the needed areas (and reduced in others).

At least with Pueraria it does not look like the case, except for the breasts 🤣

Likely because it's not refined. Unrefined herbs aren't absorbed well by the body hormone wise. If it was refined to the point of estrace (which is estrogen derived from plant source) it would have a better effect. 

Mine are mostly from injected estradiol valera
   

let me know if you have any specific questions!  i'm usually more helpful and more focused when i'm responding rather than just off the cuff

That's the opportunity! The stage is yours, because ... the information is the second most valuable thing after energy. And also it might stop some AGP kinksters from some risky decisions.

the physical consequences from most transition procedures aren't too drastic (fertility notwithstanding).  a cis man getting on hrt for a few weeks or on and off for months might give him some gyno at worst

but i knew transition would be insanely hard going in and the social consequences were much more drastic than even i expected

to anyone considering: it is so difficult.  it will ruin relationships.  it will probably make you contemplate suicide.  you are not an exception.  it is a horrible horrible place being transitionING and not transitionED

before passing i envied the delusional transfems who could convince themselves of seemingly anything.  in some ways i still do.  delusion is a good cope

now i am much happier and expressive than even before transition.  it was "worth it" in that i have largely reached the goals i set out to accomplish when i started.  but the process of transitioning will change you permanently in ways you don't like.  you will see a different side of the world and i have had no luck unseeing it

Weight cycling, also known as yo-yo dieting, refers to the repeated loss and gain of weight, often associated with fad diets and unsustainable weight loss methods. This pattern of fluctuating weight can have negative impacts on both physical and mental health, potentially increasing the risk of certain diseases.

highly recommend this article if you're interested in reading more about weight cycling.  please please please only try this if you *know* your e2 levels are good and you don't have runaway dht.  unrelated: she did her own orchiectomy!  very cool individual

This TransAnon? 
Nice to meet you ennui. I guess I'll go next: I'm trying to force myself forward.  As a kid I remember the quick and 100% certain knowledge that my mother would have none of it.  So to get along I went along.  To my credit I did tell girls I dated seriously pretty early on, but at the time I thought it was kinky / cross-dressing only.  Well that suppression comorbid with adhd and it's superpower: love of all things chemical, and it's been a pretty volatile ride.  Had two sons with that girl (who had become wife), then divorce, then some years later I opened the second Durdenesque franchise and got my daughter.  Then soon my second Divorce Merit badge.  Bundled with that divorce processing I allowed myself to entertain what I had never considered before: Trans.  All this time - meticulously balancing the tightrope of binge and cleanup/hide anything and everything when very clearly my own protobamb refused to be suppressed.  (Aside:  I still haven't told anyone my current belief).  Fun fact my second ex wife is a PsyD - and that whole 'love is rich with honey and with venom' thing back from the Roman times?  For reference our venom is blue-ringed octopus tier.  She would have a field day (which is ironic since she claims to care for the LGBT+ pop)

A huge catalyst for me was COVID.  Everybody was cooped up alone for so long, seemed like at one early phase with the thought it was likely a death sentence I think it accelerated some choices for me.  That and some other factors:  One of my hypersensitivities keeping that decision in check was that I didn't want my kids to pay for my sins - can still viscerally call back high my own high school memories for the reminder of what I would not want them to face.  Well, my first son is in second year university so out of the fireplace, second son graduates this year - we'll figure out whatever the fuck the right answer is now post-AI next year, but the high school teasing risk is abating - and that's the factor that had most of the weight these post-COVID years (daughter has many years to go for it to be a concern at which time I will have aged out of any kind of discussion)  

So:  You mentioned the social is just incalculably costly.  That has always been my assumption - also helping to keep me in check.  But with all the other factors, a couple of years ago I crossed the knowledge gap to DIY transition - but not putting a label on it.  Generally when I have a binge weekend I ensure I lock myself in to a long-term hormonal commitment to keep me on the path - undecyclate, depo-provera IM shots, etc.  Trying to burn the fucking rope bridge so I don't do the math and chicken out.  I think it's probably going to be undeniable and obvious soon - and I have no fucking idea how I'm going to play it with my kids.  90% chance my eldest notices t thanksgiving dinner when back from school - those time-gap mental image compares are the kickers.  70% chance he doesn't ask about it.  Will depend on how many beers he's had I'm guessing. 😉 
My guess is like most other things I will be completely honest:  No idea what the fuck I'm doing or what the fuck I am beyond just me.  Greet every day with Swearengen's Creed (which I have coopted):  "Pain, or damage don't end the world.  Nor despair.  Nor fucking beatings.  The world ends when you're dead.  Until then you've got more punishment in store.  Stand it like a man.  And give some back."
Ennui can you share a little about your "i knew transition would be insanely hard going in and the social consequences were much more drastic than even i expected".  If you estimated the math like I have and that variable was STILL far off - fuck.  You have kids?  How did you play it?

LA et al - if we shouldn't be sharing in this public square just say the word.  Just nice to meet someone who appears to be just a couple steps ahead on this fucked up path I'm trying to keep myself on.

[Like Ra]

highly recommend this article if you're interested in reading more about weight cycling. please please please only try this if you *know* your e2 levels are good and you don't have runaway dht. unrelated: she did her own orchiectomy! very cool individual

Finally read some articles. Oh, those crazy Russians ... Very interesting individual, indeed.

Ennui can you share a little about your "i knew transition would be insanely hard going in and the social consequences were much more drastic than even i expected".  If you estimated the math like I have and that variable was STILL far off - fuck.  You have kids?  How did you play it?

LA et al - if we shouldn't be sharing in this public square just say the word.  Just nice to meet someone who appears to be just a couple steps ahead on this fucked up path I'm trying to keep myself on.

so glad some of what i said resonated with you!  i'm here to help in whatever way i can - however little that is...

covid was catalytic for me too - there was a lot of isolation as well as a social contagion aspect.  just 5 years later it's hard to remember just how trans-friendly the political environment in 2020 was.

i estimated the math many times over and it was far worse than i expected unfortunately.  it's very possible you're much more worldly than me though - i was 24 when i started (27 now) so i'm still young and dumb.

you should expect to have no friends still standing on the other end.  very recently i lost a best friend of 15 years who was vocally supportive early in my transition.  friends leave in waves - the first ones leave when you come out, for sure; another wave leaves when you start to pass and they have to actually contend with you as the opposite gender.

in my experience family has stuck by me more than friends, but i don't have any kids so i don't know what that looks like.  my wife is and was very supportive of my transition but it has still strained our relationship in many ways and changed things.  hopefully not forever

transition *is* change though - to go down this path and expect not to change is to stagnate at best.  for the past few years i have looked indiscernible from the year previous due mostly to an incredibly aggressive surgery schedule (BA in 2 weeks! omg!)

transition will also make you feel inhuman.  i feel deeply inhuman now in many ways.  guess that's why they call us dolls, lol

consider if this is truly what you need.  if it is, though, it is the only path we have found that offers any sense of relief.  like pariah says here, "you're never really ex-trans".  although clicking back to that article it's paid now.  he (i think he's still detrans??? unsure) doesn't write nearly well enough for that lolll.  great ragebaiter though!

on the bright side i'm hot now!  maybe mid by cis standards.  but i'm definitely able to not think about being trans in cis settings.  i don't exactly feel like the same guy i was when covid started but i don't really feel like a woman either.  most days i don't even feel human really

sorry this was so stream of consciousness.  i'm better during the day

[Like Ra]

another wave leaves when you start to pass

Strange, I would expect they would leave if you do not pass, but they are still required to

actually contend with you as the opposite gender.

on the bright side i'm hot now!  maybe mid by cis standards.  but i'm definitely able to not think about being trans in cis settings. 

That's the goal, no? Otherwise, what's the point?

i don't exactly feel like the same guy i was when covid started but i don't really feel like a woman either.  most days i don't even feel human really

I think this is how it should be. If you close your eyes, it does not matter what you look like outside... Especially if no one is around.

another wave leaves when you start to pass

Strange, I would expect they would leave if you do not pass, but they are still required to

definitely lost some people early on!  but i'm pretty lax with people i'm not close to - the people i was very close with i had high expectations of.  but coworkers or acquaintances could call me "bro", "man", "he", whatever.  i'm not trying to impress them and i don't care about their opinion.  if you will be gone in a couple years, your opinion doesn't matter

actually contend with you as the opposite gender.

this is different because even self-proclaimed allies will start facing some cognitive dissonance when they see a woman and start having to fit their views on you into a larger worldview.  easier to drop outliers than to soul search, i know from experience 😊

on the bright side i'm hot now!  maybe mid by cis standards.  but i'm definitely able to not think about being trans in cis settings. 

That's the goal, no? Otherwise, what's the point?

it was the goal and by that metric it was a success!  but what i was trying to say is "be careful of what you wish, you might just get it (and a host of other new issues)"

i don't exactly feel like the same guy i was when covid started but i don't really feel like a woman either.  most days i don't even feel human really

I think this is how it should be. If you close your eyes, it does not matter what you look like outside... Especially if no one is around.

how you look matters a lot unfortunately.  i've been a lot of different people just based on how i look.  being pretty means people are more agreeable to basically anything you do.  it's nice 😊  but i agree it "shouldn't" be that way

Ennui can you share a little about your "i knew transition would be insanely hard going in and the social consequences were much more drastic than even i expected".  If you estimated the math like I have and that variable was STILL far off - fuck.  You have kids?  How did you play it?

LA et al - if we shouldn't be sharing in this public square just say the word.  Just nice to meet someone who appears to be just a couple steps ahead on this fucked up path I'm trying to keep myself on.

so glad some of what i said resonated with you!  i'm here to help in whatever way i can - however little that is...

covid was catalytic for me too - there was a lot of isolation as well as a social contagion aspect.  just 5 years later it's hard to remember just how trans-friendly the political environment in 2020 was.

i estimated the math many times over and it was far worse than i expected unfortunately.  it's very possible you're much more worldly than me though - i was 24 when i started (27 now) so i'm still young and dumb.

you should expect to have no friends still standing on the other end.  very recently i lost a best friend of 15 years who was vocally supportive early in my transition.  friends leave in waves - the first ones leave when you come out, for sure; another wave leaves when you start to pass and they have to actually contend with you as the opposite gender.

in my experience family has stuck by me more than friends, but i don't have any kids so i don't know what that looks like.  my wife is and was very supportive of my transition but it has still strained our relationship in many ways and changed things.  hopefully not forever

transition *is* change though - to go down this path and expect not to change is to stagnate at best.  for the past few years i have looked indiscernible from the year previous due mostly to an incredibly aggressive surgery schedule (BA in 2 weeks! omg!)

transition will also make you feel inhuman.  i feel deeply inhuman now in many ways.  guess that's why they call us dolls, lol

consider if this is truly what you need.  if it is, though, it is the only path we have found that offers any sense of relief.  like pariah says here, "you're never really ex-trans".  although clicking back to that article it's paid now.  he (i think he's still detrans??? unsure) doesn't write nearly well enough for that lolll.  great ragebaiter though!

on the bright side i'm hot now!  maybe mid by cis standards.  but i'm definitely able to not think about being trans in cis settings.  i don't exactly feel like the same guy i was when covid started but i don't really feel like a woman either.  most days i don't even feel human really

sorry this was so stream of consciousness.  i'm better during the day

Sorry for the delay, I didn't see a reply notification and was too embarassed to check back in the thread.  I appreciate and feel a lot of what you wrote - especially the inhuman piece - maybe for me I would describe it more as not genuine - because to most everyone in the world we're not.  For me that mostly takes care of the 'friends' component.  Not feeling genuine I have an innate fear people will pick up on it, so I don't let them get close.  Also to your point with the unsurety of the whole thing - should we / shouldn't we:  I think we're always and will always be second-guessing.  All I know is my whole life my alternate has been pushing to get out.  Depending on substances and magnitude consumed, trying to push past the point of no return.  I suspect these hypnos will help me cross the threshold.

[Like Ra]

how you look matters a lot unfortunately.  i've been a lot of different people just based on how i look.  being pretty means people are more agreeable to basically anything you do.  it's nice 😊  but i agree it "shouldn't" be that way

You are talking about others looking from the outside.
And I'm talking about yourself looking from the inside 😉
See the difference?
We had a long and hot discussion on that in this thread earlier. My point (and the point of my wife) is - we are essentially genderless inside. When you close your eyes, there is nothing manly or womanly in those feelings. Rather humanly 😉

Sorry for the delay, I didn't see a reply notification and was too embarassed to check back in the thread.  I appreciate and feel a lot of what you wrote - especially the inhuman piece - maybe for me I would describe it more as not genuine - because to most everyone in the world we're not.  For me that mostly takes care of the 'friends' component.  Not feeling genuine I have an innate fear people will pick up on it, so I don't let them get close.  Also to your point with the unsurety of the whole thing - should we / shouldn't we:  I think we're always and will always be second-guessing.  All I know is my whole life my alternate has been pushing to get out.  Depending on substances and magnitude consumed, trying to push past the point of no return.  I suspect these hypnos will help me cross the threshold.

omg no worries about the delay 😊 i made you wait a week

i hope your journey goes smoothly! it's the hardest thing i've ever done (and i've had some horrible other experiences) but it has made me learn a lot about life and about myself

i would caution against tying transition to fetishism if you can avoid it at all! it has the potential to render the kink unenjoyable and inextricably linked to feelings of frustration and struggle (as it did for me)