General TG, TS, TV and sex change thread

[essanym]

But I don't see how stating this will in anyway change how i feel now?

It doesn't and it shouldn't. When you said your dysphoria started at puberty, I had the thought that maybe it was more related to sexual fetish / autogynephilia than you realized.  I'm aware that this had aeady been discussed earlier in the thread but it still stood out to me. 

Though most of my memorable times involved playing pretend with other girls. Sometimes we would act out things like making recipes in the sandbox using nearby flowers and weeds, while other times we would actually play with dressup barbie dolls.

That statement seems more in line with my own experiences and the experiences of other trans people... not that it needs to be, mind you.  Patterns of behavior do help to paint a picture.

[Like Ra]

Sorry it just doesn't appeal to me that way. I would very much rather like to see them as sisters and only have platonic relationships.

Do I understand correctly, that it's your wish, but not the reality?

[Hazel]

Sorry it just doesn't appeal to me that way. I would very much rather like to see them as sisters and only have platonic relationships.

Do I understand correctly, that it's your wish, but not the reality?

No its the other way around 😁 

-It's not my reality (yet?) but I wish I was originally born with no attraction to females

Basically i'm a strange cookie 😁

[Like Ra]

You like girls, so imagine a pretty girl. Let's call her... Sylvia. Sylvia has a hobby. She loves to dress up in leather and steam-punk gear and play a 5-string fretless bass in a gothic-jazz band. And Sylvia is pretty much successful in it, some music-lovers even call her a bass-virtuoso.

But Sylvia has a dream. She wants to be a princess. What do princesses look like? They are supposed to be beautiful, fragile, elf-like and dressed up in pink and white organza dresses, wear a tiny crown and stitch embroidery, while her prince is on His Majesty's Service.

But devotedly shredding bass in an aggressive and provocative attire and having calluses on fingers does not match the image of a princess! So, while waiting for the prince to meet her somewhere, Sylvia decides to drop the bass, and sit at home learning to stitch, what she, actually, hates...

[Hazel]

You like girls, so imagine a pretty girl. Let's call her... Sylvia. Sylvia has a hobby. She loves to dress up in leather and steam-punk gear and play a 5-string fretless bass in a gothic-jazz band. And Sylvia is pretty much successful in it, some music-lovers even call her a bass-virtuoso.

But Sylvia has a dream. She wants to be a princess. What do princesses look like? They are supposed to be beautiful, fragile, elf-like and dressed up in pink and white organza dresses, wear a tiny crown and stitch embroidery, while her prince is on His Majesty's Service.

But devotedly shredding bass in an aggressive and provocative attire and having calluses on fingers does not match the image of a princess! So, while waiting for the prince to meet her somewhere, Sylvia decides to drop the bass, and sit at home learning to stitch, what she, actually, hates...

Like Ra, I don't really understand the analogy 🤔

[Like Ra]

Like Ra, I don't really understand the analogy

Right now I have a stronger attraction to women

Even now if i get the slightest attraction to women, I immediately try to turn that into an emotional/friendship kind of admiration rather than anything sexual. If they are really beautiful/"sexy", well I try to conjure up feelings of envy instead of lust as best as i can. .. I guess what i want to say is that I want to be a heterosexual woman if I ever to choose to fully transition.

[Hazel]

Like Ra, I don't really understand the analogy

Right now I have a stronger attraction to women

Even now if i get the slightest attraction to women, I immediately try to turn that into an emotional/friendship kind of admiration rather than anything sexual. If they are really beautiful/"sexy", well I try to conjure up feelings of envy instead of lust as best as i can. .. I guess what i want to say is that I want to be a heterosexual woman if I ever to choose to fully transition.

What is the point you are trying to make? I think I made it clear that I don't like that my current male body and its hormone balance has a preference for women.

All this is feeling-based...I don't think a logical argument can be applied to my case 😊

[Like Ra]

What is the point you are trying to make?

I do not make any points. I just see an analogy.

Not trying to make any metaphor now. Just thinking out loud. I like pantyhose. When I see pantyhose on someone, I wish it was me wearing them, and I can't keep my eyes off them. Most women hate pantyhose. Apparently, it's my male hormones, that make me love pantyhose. I want to stop loving pantyhose. If I ever transition, the female hormones will make my pantyhose fetish disappear, because, well, pantyhose is a female clothes, and if I'm a female, female clothes will cease to be a fetish, so I will stop loving pantyhose. And since I want to be a girl, I will stop wearing and looking at pantyhose now, and will consider them a normal women's clothes, which should not make me aroused anymore. Feels logical. OK, I'm in.

[Hazel]

What is the point you are trying to make?

I do not make any points. I just see an analogy.

Not trying to make any metaphor now. Just thinking out loud. I like pantyhose. When I see pantyhose on someone, I wish it was me wearing them, and I can't keep my eyes off them. Most women hate pantyhose. Apparently, it's my male hormones, that make me love pantyhose. I want to stop loving pantyhose. If I ever transition, the female hormones will make my pantyhose fetish disappear, because, well, pantyhose is a female clothes, and if I'm a female, female clothes will cease to be a fetish, so I will stop loving pantyhose.  And since I want to be a girl, I will stop wearing and looking at pantyhose now, and will consider them a normal women's clothes, which should not make me aroused anymore. Feels logical. OK, I'm in.

It's not like that at all. I was actually going to retort with a "logical" argument but I don't see the point. So all I will say is that this is simply your external observation of my predicament and i understand that you are trying to help me, but its not really helping...Its just making me feel unnecessarily wrong/guilty for trying to follow how I feel deep down.

[Hazel]

You like girls, so imagine a pretty girl. Let's call her... Sylvia. Sylvia has a hobby. She loves to dress up in leather and steam-punk gear and play a 5-string fretless bass in a gothic-jazz band. And Sylvia is pretty much successful in it, some music-lovers even call her a bass-virtuoso.

But Sylvia has a dream. She wants to be a princess. What do princesses look like? They are supposed to be beautiful, fragile, elf-like and dressed up in pink and white organza dresses, wear a tiny crown and stitch embroidery, while her prince is on His Majesty's Service.

But devotedly shredding bass in an aggressive and provocative attire and having calluses on fingers does not match the image of a princess! So, while waiting for the prince to meet her somewhere, Sylvia decides to drop the bass, and sit at home learning to stitch, what she, actually, hates...

I get it now. So you are saying that I should date women in the meantime? That would probably be very distressing for me, because I would just envy her the whole time while she would constantly tell me to "man up" if i ever made any moves to transition. So I would essentially be stuck in a nightmare. I would not want her to treat me like a guy or her boyfriend. Because her and everyone else would just see me as male.

I also think you are misunderstanding my attraction to women. Yes they are beautiful, sexy..whatever, but i am more drawn to admire, emulate or envy them. When i see a woman online or irl, I don't think about getting her number or asking her out, rather i admire her personality, style and beauty as something i should aspire towards. I certainly would feel very awkward and uncomfortable if I were to be alone and intimate with a woman. I just could not assume the male role of seducing or loving her....So I am sorry Like Ra if you misunderstood, but I am not a straight male with a fetish. I do not picture myself with a girlfriend nor do I see that as my goal/ideal for happiness in this lifetime.