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please delete this post and thread
#1
please delete this post and thread
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#2
You can't give up on a fetish, it will keep nagging you. Better learn how to deal with it and limit your wants to what is possible. Then you can enjoy what you get and stop feeling sorry for what you don't get. There is no need to get everything you wish for, life would be absolutely boring then. Some unsatisfied desires are easily paid for by surprises in other areas. At least, that is how, I think, living works.

Well, apart from that, if you think, that you got a real problem here, you could look for a therapist. Therapists aren't there to cure madness, they only help sorting out seemingly overwhelming problems, and they are much more effective than internet forums.
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#3
(26 Dec 2010, 19:35 )Dworkin Wrote: Life is an adventure and you have hand at writing your own script and therefore can choose the best lines and scenes for you.

It is more between scripting and improvisation, but basically I agree. A few things are fixed in your life, and that is, among others, your fetish and your wife. You can plan along such fixed points. Other things, change or loss of job, accidents, a lottery win or an unexpected visitor and the like require improvisation.

As for fetish, I have times where it seems like an addiction, I spend a lot of time - writing here, doing SB a lod, dressing up, spending money on ebay etc. etc., very irresponsible times and often coupled with frustration, but also great moments. I don't control, but watch myself. Eventually, these times are over and I lose interest. There were months, even years, where I hardly did any physical SB or dressing up and completely relied on a partner or on my phantasy in bed. Of course, there are triggers, that always shoot right between my legs and the only differences between fetishists and "normal" people are the triggers.

If you can't stop worrying, look for charity phone hotlines. I am sure, there are some in most countries of the world. These hotlines can be a good start.
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#4
As for the laughing, I agree with Dworkin, it could be insecurity rather than amusement. People do laugh for various reasons. Laughing is a very good method for dealing with unknown situations. I think, it will be very interesting for you to find out, why your wife was really laughing.
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#5
I'd say, stop reasoning with your wife, it won't get you anywhere. And each time you tell here, that you like tights, you also tell her, that she isn't good enough without, not a good strategy!
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#6
See also this thread: Partners involvement in your fetish and how to tell others http://www.likera.com/forum/mybb/showthread.php?tid=21
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#7
Don't give up , broaden your interests, be inventive. Try to engage/communicate with your partner, just cos you think you know them does mean you actually do.
My wife of many years always suffered a bit from the can't be bothered’s as well, she also felt it was mean to tie me up - worried about hurting me.
I bought a straight jacket early last year, she didn't like the idea - to scary! You can imagine my total amazement when she is more than happy to have me spend the night in it. It's now quite common to find that she’s got the jacket out for me to spend the night in.
So you never know where you will find that magic button that makes all the difference.
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#8
Well, you have to remember, as well as the insecurity factor with the laughing...if you really think about it and step outside of yourself and look at the situation...fetish can be funny. Don't be embarrassed just because she laughed. It doesn't mean she doesn't like it 😊
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#9
I can understand the desires all too well dear. I spent way too much of my life as a crossdresser and in denial too! In 1994, I finially found a therapist who was a Pre-op. There , I discovered I really was a Transwoman . I stopped seeing her as she felt an associate might do better for me . I then did some exploration within a Gender clinic . That took me to where I am today , a Pre- op myself ........
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#10
Wow, thats some read! I've been in a similar situation. I married a girl that was great in everyway except she just like regular sex and Im really into dressing up with tights, swimsuits, catsuits etc. I was always asking her to dress up but it done nothing for her.

The big thing that I realised is that its MY fetish. Not hers. Simple as that, end of story. (someone aeady sid the moe you mention it the more you will knock her confidence)

As the years went on I decided that I'm only here once and needed to do some things in my life, we had no kids so I decided to leave and seek out what I wanted. Im now with a girl that loves dressing up. We disscussed it early on in the relationship and before I knew it she was out buying catsuits for us both!
Now I have another problem................ she finishes work before me, I daren't come home from work with any work buddies as she is almost always wandering round the house in heels, stockings and a swimsuit hahahaha!
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