ALEX
Alex’s first impression of Rob was not good at all. After they had shaken hands it took Alex about five minutes to see through the man and what he saw was a smooth talker and a bragger, someone who was terribly full of himself. What on earth did Louise see in this guy, he wondered. They chatted over coffee for about twenty minutes, but when Alex got back to his apartment he could only come to the conclusion that almost everything about this Rob rubbed him the wrong way. Thank God he was away for work most of the time. Aeady he couldn’t wait for him to pack his bags again.
On Sunday Louise served lunch on the terrace. Rob was there too, but he had a stack of papers next to his plate and didn’t say much, which suited Alex fine of course. Now at least he could talk to Louise about the upcoming week. She promised to help him some days with the attic, which needed to be painted. On Tuesday or Wednesday he was supposed to deliver a painting to a house in Saint Tropez. That was fine with him too, because Rob was planning to stick around for the whole week. The less time he would have to spend with him the better.
Now Rob looked up from his papers and mentioned some football match that he wanted to watch later today. A Manchester United game apparently. He told Alex he could come watch it too if he felt like it. Alex hated football. He thought it was entertainment for dumb people. Bread and circuses, as the Romans had called it. The fact that this Rob did like football said enough. It confirmed everything Alex had aeady concluded about him. Louise, who was so much smarter than her husband, said: ‘I don’t think Alex likes football, honey.’
‘You don’t?’ the Neanderthal asked. ‘So what do you like? Gaming?’
Alex sighed. He couldn’t help it. Football and gaming, he had just mentioned the two dumbest things people could waste their time on.
He said that he liked to listen to music and read books. Rob scoffed at that.
‘Books,’ he said. ‘Who still reads books?!’
Louise asked Alex about music then, cleverly steering them away from a heated discussion. She asked him what kind of music he liked. Alex mentioned classic rock bands like Pink Floyd and the Stones, but also blues musicians like John Lee Hooker and Robert Johnson. Louise at least tried to sound positive in her reaction, but the caveman just shook his head and said: ‘Exactly the kind of music we detest, eh, Lou?’
Louise didn’t deny it, but said that she and her husband preferred different music. Disco and electronic music. Chaka Khan, Cindy Lauper and Lionel Ritchie. Just nice music from the eighties. Her words echoed in Alex’s mind and bitterly disappointed him. It must have shown on his face too, because Louise laughed out loud while Rob gave him a mean look.
In the afternoon Louise asked him if he felt like playing tennis with her and Rob. The thought of physical exercise didn’t exactly appeal to him, but she asked him in a nice way and it was supposed to be the last sunny day for a while, so he agreed. Fifteen minutes later he found himself opposite the net from the caveman. After a quick warm-up they began their game. Although he had played tennis as a child, it had been too long ago for him to be a serious opponent for Rob. As much as he wanted to beat the guy, it was just not possible. The man wasn’t that good though, that much Alex could see. With a little more practice he was sure he would stand a chance at some point, but today was too early for that. He did score some nice points and felt proud when Louise complimented him, but he couldn’t win more than four games and lost 6-4. Rob walked up to the net, shook his hand and said that today’s youth was not very impressive. The remark made Alex want to hit the man over the head with his racket. Louise calmed him down though by saying that he had played much better at the end of the match than at the beginning.
‘Perhaps,’ she said, ‘you will play even better against me.’
Rob, who was going back to the house to make some calls, laughed and said that he hoped she wasn’t going to let ‘her little buddy’ win. This remark seemed to annoy Louise who told her husband not to worry about that. At the same moment Alex said something silly that he regretted immediately. Feeling insulted and humiliated aeady he assured Rob that he would have no problem winning a tennis match against a woman. Now Louise gave him an angry look. She got the same bossy expression on her face that he had seen before, but now it was more intense and right away he understood that he’d better focus on the game, because she might be a tougher opponent than he had expected.
For about five minutes they just hit the ball at one another, then Louise told Alex to start. He walked over to the baseline and bounced the ball, just like he had seen players on TV do. He threw it up in the air then and hit it perfectly. It was a much better service than he could have hoped for. The ball went in a straight line over the net and seemed out of her reach. He was terribly wrong though, as she did not only get to the ball, but she also hit it back at him with such a speed and accuracy that he could only stare at it bouncing in the corner. 0-15 and he realized he was in serious trouble. He suddenly saw it in her way of walking too. She moved like a cat, lean and strong. He tried to focus even more and again his service was good. He aimed for her backhand now, but again the ball came back, heavy with topspin this time and leaving him without a chance to do something good with it. 0-30.
He lost the first game without scoring a point. What should have been a fun activity on a Saturday afternoon became a humiliating struggle. By the time they were halfway through the set, when he was 3-0 down and had only managed to score one point, he was sweating like a pig. He ran after every ball and if he got there in time, he hit it as hard as he could, but almost always the ball came back to his side. While he ran from left to right, Louise calmly directed the game from the baseline. As far as he could tell she wasn’t getting tired and she wasn’t sweating either Her strokes were precise and she hit the ball harder too. How many aces did she score, he wondered, when another one of her first services flew past him. Ten perhaps? In any case, their match was over in no time. He lost 6-0 and he scored a total of three points. After she had finished him off with another ace they met at the net where they shook hands. Alex, feeling terribly embarrassed now, excused himself for his silly remark before the game, but Louise told him not to worry about it.
‘I think you’ve learned your lesson,’ she said.
As they waited for Rob to come back they hit the ball at each other without keeping track of the score. Louise gave him some tips too and at one point she came over to his side of the net to explain to him how he could improve his service. He tried to pay attention to what she said, but it was hard because her body was so close by and her hands were touching his arms. She also told him she used to play on quite a high level when she was younger. Later she had taught children and now she just played for fun.
When Rob came back he asked for the result of the game. Alex wanted to say 6-0, but Louise beat him to it and said he had played really well, but lost 6-4.
Now that she had kind of saved him from further embarrassment, Alex stayed and watched the game between Louise and her husband. The caveman didn’t do much better than him and perhaps scored eight points. He did win a game, but the superiority of Louise was impressive. While Rob ran across the court, sweating and cursing, she was light on her feet and always in control of the game. Her ponytail danced on the collar of her shirt and her body always remained perfectly balanced. At first it was mostly Rob’s imminent defeat that Alex relished, but more and more he began to admire Louise. The way she moved her curvy body which was so much more graceful than one might expect. As he watched her beat her husband, Alex realized that he himself had stood even less of a chance. She had sent him from one corner to the other as well and when the memory came back he understood something else: in an almost perverted way he had enjoyed it. Losing so clearly against a woman embarrassed him, but also seemed to awaken a strange sensation in his subconscious. He remembered something else then, something that had happened on his first night here. The jar of olives that he hadn’t been able to open, but then when she had tried it, it popped open right away. Remembering that and looking at her score yet another winner against her husband, he began to suspect that he wasn’t just physically attracted to her, but that he also derived a weird kind of pleasure from her getting the upper hand of him. What on earth was that about?!
***
After the weekend, Alex’s second week in the south of France began. Although Rob was home, he hardly showed his annoying face. The man seemed obsessed with work and spent all day in his study, which of course was perfectly okay with Alex.
Louise was in Cannes on Monday, but stayed home on Tuesday. In the morning she had two patients, so he didn’t see much of her. In the afternoon she came up to the attic though to help him paint the walls.
Over the weekend Alex had thought hard about the interaction with his former neighbor. He had concluded that part of the confusion was caused by her curiosity and directness. He just wasn’t used to that. His friends never asked him any questions and adults he had always tried to avoid. So yes, it was kind of unnerving to suddenly be around a woman who asked him things and even challenged him at times. It didn’t have anything to do with sexual attraction, he had concluded, because he had felt equally confused when she had casually asked him about smoking pot. See? That was it. In order to avoid her questions he had thought of a new strategy. Instead of keeping quiet and inviting her to ask him things, he could ask her questions instead. That would keep the focus on her. He bet that would also help him cope better with her voluptuous body, because if he could keep his mental balance he would also be able to stay in control of his desires.
So when they worked side by side in the attic that Tuesday afternoon he fired questions at her as if she were a suspect in a murder case. After ten questions in three minutes Louise had laughed and asked him if he was feeling okay. He persisted though and slowly she had begun to talk about herself. She told him about her French mother who died ten years ago, about her youth in Brighton and meeting Rob a year after her divorce.
Alex noticed that what had begun as just a strategy, was in fact quite pleasant. Louise was an interesting woman, he had to admit. She had seen more of life and the world than most people. He asked her about her current activities too. She explained to him why she had chosen two different paths. She had opened an art gallery because she liked art and some elements of the artistic world, but she also needed the satisfaction and intimacy that therapeutic work gave her. She explained these needs in more detail and to his own surprise he felt himself listening to every word she said. What he had found in smoking pot and listening to Pink Floyd, she seemed to be discovering in psychology. He tried to tell her this, kind of help her understand, but she didn’t see the connection as clearly as he did.
Sometimes their conversation fell silent too, but it never felt uncomfortable. They worked well together, Alex realized and he expected that she thought so too, because every now and then she smiled at him, giving him the feeling that she enjoyed having him here.
She asked him about the bluetooth speaker at some point. He had brought it with him so he could listen to music when he was alone, but when she had joined him here he had turned it off. They switched it back on and played some music. First Pink Floyd and Dylan, then Spandau Ballet and, God forbid, disco. They argued about music then, but in a nice way. He moaned and complained like an old man about the songs she liked and she mocked the deep meanings of the lyrics he had always valued so much, saying things like: ‘I can’t wait to tell my patients that they should shine like a crazy diamond.’
She asked him about nightlife in his hometown then. Did he and his friends have any nice bars or clubs to go to? He said he didn’t like crowded places. He preferred to be out on the street with his friends, listening to their own music on park benches. For some reason this amused Louise immensely.
‘Let me guess, you’re all out in the park, because you can’t smoke weed anywhere else, right?’
He nodded and was surprised at how easily things could evolve, how something that had been a secret for such a long time, now could be talked about so openly.
‘So what do you talk about on those park benches? Jean-Paul Sartre? Nietzsche?’
Teasing him some more, but it didn’t bother him. He asked her what it was like when she was his age. Did she go out a lot?
‘Oh yes,’ she said. ‘My friends and I went clubbing every weekend. Martinis, disco and boys!’
Alex shook his head in disapproval. Clubs were so noisy and superficial, he said. Louise laughed and asked him if he had ever danced.
‘Of course not,’ he said. ‘Dance to Pink Floyd?’
‘You could dance to the Rolling Stones,’ she suggested. ‘You like them too, don’t you?’
He just grunted in response. The thought alone was ridiculous.
‘Perhaps you would like it,’ Louise said. ‘It might even do you some good.’
‘Why is that?’
She put down her brush and looked at him.
‘I think you live mostly in your head,’ she said. ‘Although that can be a good thing, I also think that the physical part is important. Dancing, sports, etcetera. You’ve been here a week now and I see the difference in you aeady. The afternoon of tennis and the physical work you have been doing give me the impression that you’re more in touch with your body than when you first got here. Am I right?’
He thought about it and nodded. He did feel stronger than when he had just arrived.
‘It’s none of my business of course,’ she continued, ‘but you seem healthier and happier now and I wonder if the physical work plays a part in that.’
Although they were moving into his personal space again he agreed and said he did indeed enjoy the work.
‘Did you do any sports back in England?’ she asked. ‘I remember you played tennis and practiced judo too, but I have a feeling it’s been a while, right?’
She was right. It had been years since he had done any sports.
‘Why don’t you join me on my morning run some day?’ she said. ‘It would be good for you.’
He said he might, but couldn’t really see himself get out of bed so early. It didn’t hurt to pretend he might be up for it though.
‘Do you remember I taught you jiu jitsu when you were little?’ Louise asked.
He looked at her, not understanding what she was saying, but then a memory came back. In the garden of his neighbor Kevin, when Louise had lived there too. He remembered she had shown him some moves. But God, that was a long time ago. He couldn’t have been older than eight. Did she still practice jiu jitsu?
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Although I practice less than I should.’
Tennis, jiu jitsu, running and dancing. Yes, she was definitely more physical than he was.
Steve Winwood’s ‘Higher Love’ began to play. Louise sang along with it and moved her hips. She looked at him with a dazzling smile that made him shy.
‘Shall we go dancing some time?’ she asked.
She was teasing him of course and not wanting to sound like an old fart he countered her question with a suggestion of his own, saying that he would prefer to get some jiu jitsu classes from her. She stopped moving her hips and said: ‘What a good idea! That way I get to practice too.’
She picked up the rhythm again, singing along with boring Steve Winwood. While she continued to paint Alex’s gaze went to her sensual hips and big, round bum in the tight jeans. He imagined getting self defense classes from her, trying to grab her or even more alarming, being grabbed by her. He briefly wondered what it would be like to feel her luscious body on top of him, but then changed the picture, because there was no way he would lose against her of course. He saw himself sitting on top of her now, pinning her down, but the idea was still disturbing, because he would simply be too close to her. He cursed himself for having tried to be cool and suggesting jiu jitsu lessons, because now that they had agreed on that, the thought of physical contact with her made him bloody nervous.
The next day he needed to take a painting to some rich people in Saint Tropez. Louise wanted to come along, but she and Rob had a lunch appointment in Cannes first. Alex was supposed to pick her up in the restaurant at one o’clock. Because he was early he parked the van and explored Cannes on foot. He bought a can of Coke and some chocolate and walked to the beach. Cannes had less character than the old town of Nice, he thought, but still it was better to be here than in his sleepy village in Suffolk.
When the time was right he picked up the van and drove to the restaurant. Louise and Rob were sitting at a table in the back, together with another couple, who were Francis and Monique most likely. Louise told him about them yesterday. Rich people too, who lived here in Cannes and owned a yacht as well. He walked up to their table and greeted Louise and her knucklehead husband. Louise introduced him to her friends then. Francis seemed nice. His handshake was firm and the sparkle in his eyes genuinely friendly. Alex could tell the man had a good sense of humor too. Monique was pretty for her age. Not nearly as pretty as Louise, but with her blonde hair and blue eyes she was an older version of the kind of girl he had always considered his type.
Louise pulled out a chair next to her and told him to take a seat. She assured him they would be on their way soon. They were having coffee and when they were done with that she would ask for the bill, she said. She looked beautiful today, Alex thought. Her dark hair was recently brushed and her eyelashes looked even longer than usual.
Francis asked Alex how he liked living in the south of France. He spoke English with a heavy accent, but at least he tried. They chatted about the things he had done and seen so far, but at some point Monique hijacked the conversation and told them about an au pair from America they once had. There seemed to be no end to her story and when Alex noticed she wasn’t really talking to him anyway he checked out and began to take in his surroundings. It looked like an expensive restaurant. The waiters were all dressed the same and seemed to be in a hurry. Through the window he could see the back of the van that was parked along the sidewalk. He hoped he had put enough money in the meter. Monique was still talking about the au pair. The others were laughing about something she had just said. Alex looked to his left, to where Louise was sitting. She was wearing a black turtleneck with a pearl necklace. The turtleneck was quite tight, he noticed. Her bosom was full, but he didn’t get a view like the other day when he had seen her breasts move underneath the blouse. His gaze went further down, quickly though, before anyone would notice. She had a belt around her waist and he also saw now that the turtleneck wasn’t a sweater, but part of a dress. Her legs were partly hidden underneath the table, but he could tell she had crossed them. The hem of the dress had ridden up the thigh which was resting on the other leg. He glanced at her round knee and the black, high heeled boots below them. He couldn’t help it, but a rush of something he could only call lust went through his body. Quickly he regained his composure and looked up and around the restaurant again. Louise was asking Monique something now and then the French woman began to talk again. Perhaps he could take another look, the little devil inside him whispered. From the corner of his eye he glanced down again at her thigh that was shrouded in sheer, black nylon. Deep down he knew it had been coming, but still it took him by surprise, the loss of control, the heat rushing through his veins and the blood getting pumped into his groin. He no longer felt confused or aroused in a weird kind of way, no, what he was feeling now was pure lust. He wanted to reach out and place a hand on her leg. Move it up her thigh until it couldn’t go any further. He wanted to see her naked, wanted to see those big breasts with his own eyes and then…
‘Shall we go?’ Louise’s voice interrupted his perverted thoughts. Had she caught him looking? He blushed and stood up quickly.
‘I need to pee first,’ he said.
The adults carried on as before, so he was probably in the clear, but as he walked over to the restroom he was painfully aware of his erection.
They left the restaurant some minutes later. When they crossed the street to the van, he noticed that she was taller than he was now that she was wearing high heels. For some reason that aroused him too. What didn’t excite him, he began to wonder. His fear of becoming a pervert was growing by the minute.
They first drove to the gallery to pick up the painting, which she had aeady wrapped in paper. Alex put it in the back of the van and off they went. It was an hour and a half’s drive to Saint Tropez. During the ride Louise talked about the lunch which she had apparently enjoyed a lot. Alex could tell that she was fond of her friends. He himself felt less relaxed. While he had to drive and keep an eye on the road, he wanted nothing more than to sneak another peak at her legs. Every time he shifted gears he got a chance. Her knees in the soft nylon made him feel weak in the stomach for some reason. The boots she was wearing didn’t help either. It looked like they were made of smooth black leather and the stiletto heels were very high. How could she walk on them so easily, he asked himself. Then he remembered the shoe store in Nice, where she had tried on the red pumps. Back then he couldn’t imagine her wearing shoes like that. Now he realized that he didn’t know his former neighbor at all. The way she was dressed today, so goddamned sexy, set him on fire and how bad was that? She was his neighbor’s ex-wife and one of his mother’s good friends, so there was no way his perverted feelings could ever get out. This would have to stay a secret, forever and ever. But even supposing that no one would ever find out, there was still the problem of how to deal with his lust for her on a day to day basis. Of course the best would be if she would always dress in jeans. That way he could manage. On the other hand, seeing her like this felt really good too. In a wrong way, but good nevertheless.
Now she was talking about going to the theater in Cannes tomorrow night. Would he like to drive them there? And pick them up? That way she and Rob could drink whatever they wanted. He agreed of course. He worked for her and besides, driving them to the theater would be the least of his worries.
The couple in Saint Tropez invited them in for coffee. They were very happy with the painting and clearly wanted to hear more about the artist who made it. Alex sat down on the couch, next to Louise, and tried to focus on the conversation. Whatever he did, he told himself, don’t look at her legs again. It was impossible though, because when she crossed them or rhythmically moved the tip of a high heeled boot in the air, he couldn’t resist taking a quick look. The coast was clear anyway, because no one paid attention to him. He noticed how the hem of her dress had ridden up her thigh again, just like before in the restaurant. God, her thighs looked both full and strong and once more he felt a desire to touch them. A desire which was immediately countered by guilt. What would his friends or parents say if they saw him here like this. He imagined them walking in and seeing the situation for what it was: three adults having a decent conversation and an eighteen year old guy with an erection who was trying to peek up the skirt of the woman sitting next to him. A woman who was twenty-five years his senior and also happened to talk to his mother regularly. It was all just too horrible. But then he looked at her again and saw how she crossed her legs the other way. Vaguely he heard the swishing sound of her nylons and he felt his brain turn to mush all over again.
On their way back Louise made some phone calls. Just when she was done someone called her. It was Alex’s mom, who was keen to hear how the past week had gone. Louise asked him if he wanted her on speaker phone, but he shook his head. He didn’t need to talk to his mom right now and was happy to let Louise do the talking.
‘Your parents talked to Kevin today,’ she said after she had ended the conversation.
‘They did? Why?’
‘He needed your dad’s help with something. DIY stuff apparently. Your mom said he didn’t seem too pleased when he heard you are here with me.’
‘Uh oh,’ Alex said, but then laughed when he saw her expression which seemed to be a mixture between surprise and naughtiness.
‘So how do you get along with Kevin?’ she asked him.
He shrugged and said he hardly ever talked to him, even though they were neighbors and saw each other regularly. Mostly they just said hello and that was it.
‘Why wouldn’t he be happy about me being here though?’
‘Because he doesn’t like me,’ Louise said.
‘You got divorced a long time ago though.’
‘I know, but still…’
He glanced at her and said: ‘The only thing I remember about your divorce is that my parents told me you and Kevin no longer loved each other and that you were moving back to London. It sounds like there was more to it than that. Otherwise why wouldn’t he like it that I’m here?’
Louise sighed and said: ‘Your parents were right. We didn’t love each other anymore. The way it ended though was ugly. I’m not surprised no one told you at the time. You were still a child back then.’
‘So what happened?’ he asked.
‘I cheated on Kevin,’ she said. ‘I’m not proud of it, but yes, that’s what happened.’
Alex glanced sideways again at her. Now he was surprised. Well, surprised and kind of shocked too. He didn’t know what to say, but saw that she was expecting some kind of reaction, so in the end he tried to sound mature and repeated something he had once heard one of his friends say.
‘I guess that happens a lot in long marriages.’
In the meantime though the pervert in the back of his mind was conjuring up images of his former neighbor in bed with some other man. Damned, he was supposed to condemn her, but why was his penis getting hard then? He looked at her legs again and of course that made things only worse. In order to steer himself away from all the dirty images he asked her if she had told Kevin.
She shook her head and said: ‘I wish I had.’
‘So how did he find out? Did someone tell him?’
‘No, Alex, no one told him.’
She turned her head and looked out the window to the Mediterranean in the distance. It was clear that she no longer wanted to talk about it. Alex thought of letting it go too, but then realized that the whole street had apparently known about this, except for him. Now that he had dug up part of the story he would really like to know the rest of it as well.
‘I don’t understand,’ he said.
Louise sighed in frustration and turned back to him.
‘Kevin walked in on us, Alex. You understand what I’m saying? He’d gone away for the day and my lover had come to our house. Kevin came home unexpectedly where he found us in the bedroom. Like I said, I’m not proud of it.’
Alex stared at her as he processed what she had told him, then remembered that he was driving and turned his focus back to the road. This was a real scandal! He could imagine how angry Kevin and his dad had been with Louise. About his mom’s reaction he wasn’t so sure. She didn’t seem to like Kevin much and had always praised Louise. Then he imagined it happening, Kevin climbing the stairs in the house in which he still lived and finding his wife in bed with someone else. God, that image set him even more on fire than just the thought of her having an affair!
‘Alex,’ she interrupted his chain of thoughts, ‘talk to me now, otherwise I would think that you’re angry with me.’
He shook his head vehemently. ‘No no, I’m not angry. It’s just that I never knew about it.’
‘Well, now you do. It’s a long time ago though and the only thing I regret is the way my marriage ended, not that it ended. I didn’t love Kevin anymore and if we’d stayed together I would have felt miserable and I would never have met Rob and ended up living here.’
‘That’s true,’ Alex said. ‘And like I said: these things happen.’
She chuckled and said: ‘Now you sound like some wise, old granddad.’
Despite her making fun of him he laughed and she joined in, both at ease with each other again. They drove on in silence. It would be dark by the time they got home. Alex thought about his neighbor and imagined his reaction. Knowing Kevin he had probably made a lot of noise about it. Even these days, whenever he had a problem, he would always come to his dad right away to complain about it. Then he remembered he had once seen Kevin getting angry with someone in the pub. He had still been a boy, but he recalled how two friends had to restrain Kevin otherwise he would have punched the other man in the face. So how about Louise’s lover? Hadn’t he punched him? He still didn’t know the whole story, did he?
‘What are you thinking about?’ Louise asked him in a gentle voice. ‘Are you okay with what I just told you? I hope it doesn’t upset you. After all, Kevin is your dad’s friend and I hurt his feelings badly.’
‘No,’ he said, ‘I wasn’t thinking about that.’
‘So what were you thinking about? You looked so serious!’
He glanced over at her and said: ‘Well, I just remembered how Kevin once almost attacked someone and then I wondered if he attacked your lover too.’
‘Please, Alex,’ Louise said, ‘don’t make me recall the details of that time. They’re upsetting to me. You understand that, right?’
And he did. As curious as he was, he decided to let it go. An hour later though, when he had parked the van next to the villa and he was about to get out, she said: ‘Alex, hold on one second. Before you image violent scenes happening back then, it wasn’t like that. My lover was a young guy and he was out the window before Kevin could get to him. There was a lot of yelling, there were tears, but that was it. A big drama, but nothing violent, okay?’
Alex thought about this and thanked her for clarifying that, because yes, he had begun to imagine uglier scenes. They got out of the van then and walked to the back of the house. The sky was dark, the moon was above the hills in the distance. He heard the sound of her high heels on the stone path. My lover was a young guy, she had said. How old had he been, he wondered? He wanted to ask her, but felt embarrassed. Then again, it was dark and she wouldn’t see him blush. They walked in silence until they got to the terrace. Here she would go into the house and he would go down the steps to the garden and his apartment. He asked her then, with his heart beating in his chest. He tried to make it sound light, but he could tell his voice wavered.
‘So how old was your lover?’
Her smile lit up in the darkness, her beautiful white teeth beaming at him.
‘Are you curious, Alex?’
He nodded and waited for her to continue. She observed him while she seemed to be making up her mind. Although it was dark he felt she was looking straight through him. It made him feel vulnerable and naked.
‘I’ll tell you on two conditions,’ she said. ‘One, this stays between you and me. No one in your village knows and I would like to keep it that way. And two, I want it to be a fair exchange. I open up to you, you open up to me too.’
‘About what?’ Alex asked.
‘About whatever comes our way. I want you to promise me that you will confide in me the same way I am confiding in you now. Agreed?’
He felt his heart beating in his chest. Although she sounded kind of abstract he got the gist of it and knew this could mean trouble for him later on. Nevertheless he nodded, because how could he turn back now?
‘Okay,’ Louise said. ‘He was eighteen. Your age. He was a tennis player at one of the clubs in town. Kevin didn’t know him and never saw his face.’
Again Alex didn’t know what to say. Frankly, it was all just mindboggling, these revelations about his former neighbor. Add to that the clothes she was wearing and he realized he was in for a confusing and possibly sleepless night in his bed.
‘Anything else you would like to know?’
She said it with a smile, teasing him again.
‘How old were you at the time?’
‘Thirty-three, I think. Does that shock you?’
He thought about it and said: ‘A little bit.’
She looked at him in silence now. Her arms were folded across her chest, her eyes were black in the darkness.
‘What else?’ she asked. Less playful now, more serious.
He cleared his throat and asked: ‘How long were you together with him?’
‘About two months, I would say.’
He nodded, ready to leave it at that, but now she asked him why he wanted to know. He felt the heat rush to his cheeks and was grateful for the darkness.
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘Perhaps because I’ve never talked to anyone who has had an affair.’
A few seconds passed. He felt how she was observing him.
‘Is that the only reason you’re asking?’
He hesitated, feeling confused about her question, but then he nodded.
‘Yes,’ he said, but he could hear that his voice sounded strange.
‘Good, Alex,’ Louise said. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow then.’
And with that they each went their way. When Alex had closed the door of the apartment behind him he let out a deep sigh. He closed his eyes and whispered to himself: ‘What is happening to me?’
He heated up a lasagna from the freezer and as he sat on the couch eating it his thought kept going back to what she had just told him. She had slept with an eighteen year old tennis player while she was married! Wasn’t that supposed to be despicable? Shouldn’t his moral verdict erase his lust for her? Oh, he really wished it did, but the truth was that, in his mind’s eye, he kept seeing her naked with the guy and the only thing that got erased was his capability to think clearly.
The joint he smoked a little later was what saved him that evening. He had rolled an extra strong one, which made him pass out. Normally it was not the healthiest option, but tonight it prevented him from making things worse and getting sucked into masturbation fantasies about his mother’s friend. He knew that once he went there, he would enter a world of shame in which he’d be stuck forever.
***
Fortunately he got some reprieve the next day, something he felt eternally thankful for. By the time he had had breakfast and went up to the villa, both Rob and Louise weren’t there. He found a note on the kitchen table saying that Rob had a business meeting in Monaco and Louise was in Cannes to visit a friend. Neither of them would be back before 4 PM. It was just what Alex needed. A day alone to clear his mind. First he would finish work in the attic. He estimated he needed around two hours for that. Then he could spend the afternoon as he liked. Talk to his friends, smoke another joint and listen to some music. Get back to normal, in other words.
By the time the sun went down he felt happy and relaxed. The day had gone exactly as planned. He had listened to three albums of Bob Dylan on his walk through the forest and had a hilarious talk with Dave. Feeling high and euphoric he hadn’t wanted to tell his friend that Louise wasn’t crazy about him coming over for a visit. It would have spoiled the moment. In fact, he might even have encouraged his friend to start looking for tickets. He thought about that now, as he sat on the couch and rolled another joint. What if he just didn’t make a big deal out of Dave’s visit? Not discuss it further with her, but make it a surprise instead? Surely Louise wouldn’t really mind, would she? Dave was fun and he would stay here with him in the apartment. Hell, he could even help with the work around the house! The more he thought about it, the better it sounded to just have his friend come over without discussing it any further.
Before lighting up the joint he had just rolled, he put a pizza in the oven. From the kitchen window he saw the lights were on in the villa. He hadn’t seen Louise all day and as much as he liked her, he didn’t mind.
When he had finished the pizza, he cleaned up a bit in the kitchen and then smoked his last joint of the day. What a good one it was! A perfect blend of tobacco and soft, Moroccan hash. The smell was exquisite, the taste better than chocolate. And the effect on his mind? Simply divine! The way it made his thoughts softer and more fluid, the clarity it gave him. He did need to look for a local dealer soon though, because he had just one tiny piece left now. Anyway, he could worry about that tomorrow. Now just relax and follow the tones of Pink Floyd’s ‘Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun’. He closed his eyes and thought being high was like being underwater, moving in harmony with the fresh water of a mountain creek. No, actually being that mountain creek. Flowing endlessly, not bothered by time and other silly restrictions. Just harmony and being one with nature. The best feeling he had ever had. The drums in the meantime kept him going, kept deepening his trance. One of them a little bit off, but that was Pink Floyd, always surreal, always surprising. The drum got louder though, began to sound as if there was an urgency to it. He opened his eyes and realized it wasn’t a drum that he had heard, but someone pounding on the door with a fist. What the hell? Yes, there it was again, louder even. Quickly he got up and stumbled to the door, still half in a trance. He opened it and there she was. Louise, dressed up in black, but more importantly, looking at him furiously.
‘Weren’t you supposed to take us to the theater tonight? I’ve texted and called you a hundred times.’
The moment she said it, he remembered of course. Their night out. He was going to be their driver, so they could drink. What now though? He didn’t know and just stared at her. God, she looked gorgeous again, but her eyes were fiery and he knew he was in trouble.
‘Great,’ she said. ‘You’re high again. Well done, Alex. Not only did you mess up our evening, but you also had me worried that something had happened to you. But no, you’re just high and in your silly, little world.’
He blushed and wanted to protest, but he lacked coherency. He turned around then, in search of his phone that he wanted to blame for this cluster fuck. Then he remembered he had put it on silence when he was in the forest this afternoon. He turned back to the doorway where Louise was still standing.
‘Don’t worry,’ he said, ‘I’ll take you.’
As he said it though, he also noticed the way she was dressed and he could hear the impact of that in the wavering of his voice. She was wearing a classy, black dress that was much shorter than the one she had on yesterday. It came to just above her knees and was tight. His gaze went further down then. He couldn’t help himself, even though she was standing there, looking at him with her hands on her hips. Like yesterday she was wearing a sheer, black pantyhose, this time not with boots though, but with shiny, black pumps. He took it in quickly, but knew she had noticed.
‘Hello,’ she said, ‘could you please focus on me instead of my legs?’
Her remark almost floored Alex. He was so goddamn high and felt terrible for having forgotten about their night out and now she said this on top of it all? The shame made his head spin and he had to hold on to the door frame, otherwise he would have fallen over.
Louise in the meantime still looked livid.
‘You can’t drive us,’ she said. ‘You’re too high to drive. I guess I’ll drive myself. We don’t have enough time to wait for a taxi and Rob has aeady had a drink.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Alex stammered. He knew there was no point in insisting that he could drive. She was right, it wouldn’t be safe.
Sorry didn’t do it though. She was furious with him and turned around without another word. He saw her go and desperately called out to her: ‘Louise, wait!’
She didn’t stop though, so he followed her in his socks. He stumbled up the path, still high as a kite, but feeling even more guilty and ashamed. Against the light coming from the villa and the lanterns in the garden, he saw her silhouette, the hourglass figure and the shapely calves moving away from him. The sound of her high heels on the stones was both sexy and disconcerting. Leaving him here like this felt like punishment. He wanted to make it up to her and said so out loud. She stopped walking and turned around to face him. In her heels she was aeady taller than he was, but now she was also higher up the path to the villa.
‘Make it up to me?’ she asked. ‘How? What do you have in mind?’
He had no idea though, so he just stood there.
Louise sniffed and said: ‘That’s what I thought.’
With that she turned around and left him there. It was only when he walked back down to his apartment that he became aware of his erection.
The rest of the night Alex felt terrible. He hated arguing, especially with people he valued. When he came to France some weeks ago he had had doubts about Louise, but those thoughts had vanished. He had come to respect her and just this afternoon, talking to Dave, he had called her ‘really, really cool’.
The fact that she also terrified him in some ways was something else of course, something which both worried and excited him. Sitting on the couch he recalled the scene in the garden. Her blazing eyes and the way her body had towered over him. Why on earth had that turned him on so much? Now that he thought about it, he knew that, while part of him was truly sorry, another, darker part had felt thrilled by her anger. A sensation that reminded him of the olive jar and the tennis game, a feeling that she was somehow superior to him.
Much later, when he was about to go to bed, he received a text from her. She wrote that they had just come out of the theater and were having a drink now. They were taking a taxi back, she said, and would pick up the Mercedes tomorrow. She also apologized for being so harsh on him, but added that she did feel disappointed with him when she realized he was high and had forgotten his promise. A sense of relief flooded through Alex’s body and he hurried to say that he was so, so very sorry. They exchanged a few messages, in which he asked about the play and apologized once again. In the end they seemed to be okay again. In her last text she suggested he join her tomorrow morning for a run and even though he didn’t feel like it, he knew that he’d better not say no.
***
A knock on the door told him she was here. This time he had been expecting her. She was dressed in lycra shorts, running shoes and a tight, blue top. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, her face looked natural and fresh. Even this early in the morning she looked terribly attractive.
He followed her on the path that led into the forest where he’d been the day before. Now he had to run though. At first it was okay. The path was quite smooth, the scenery pretty and to his relief he could keep up with her without a problem. Following her, behind just behind her, had its perks too, he realized, because now he could look at her without feeling self conscious. Her body in motion was a work of art. She was so feminine, yet also incredibly fit and strong. Like before on the tennis court she reminded him of a cat. The bounce in her step, the way she seemed to almost dance over loose stones and branches. He also kept looking at the muscles in her calves. On the top of her right calf she had a small birthmark, he noticed. His eyes took in her thighs too and above them her full, round bum. Part of her back was bare, with the top exposing her shoulders. Healthy was the word that kept popping up in his mind. So incredibly healthy!
It wasn’t until they got to a slope that he got in trouble. They had aeady run for about fifteen minutes by then and just when he began to feel tired, the path began to go up. Louise looked over her shoulder and said: ‘It’s about two kilometers like this. Are you okay?’
Of course he said yes, but ten minutes later his whole body was in pain. Sweating like a pig now he refused to give in and gave it all he had, but still it wasn’t enough. When the path became even steeper he saw the distance between them growing bigger and bigger. At some point she looked back and seemed surprised she had lost him. She waited for him and laughed when she saw his sweaty, red face.
‘Don’t force yourself, Alex. On top of the hill is a meadow. I’ll wait for you there, okay?’
He nodded and she turned around, effortlessly picking up her rhythm again. He saw her run away from him so quickly that it alarmed him. There was nothing he could do about it though. At some point he couldn’t even run anymore. The last part of the slope he just walked. When he got to the meadow, he saw her sitting in the grass, the morning sun warming her face. She smiled at him and patted her hand on the grass next to her. Come sit here, it meant, and he stumbled over and almost fell down. He was so incredibly tired. For a long time they didn’t speak. The view over the valley below was spectacular and the temperature was just perfect. Louise seemed to feel completely at peace with herself and her surroundings. Every now and then he shot a quick glance at her, felt how balanced she seemed, both mentally and physically, and then remembered his own stumbling up the hill and the embarrassment that came with it. After a while she asked him if he was all right. Did he feel ready to continue?
‘Is it downhill from now on?’ he asked.
‘The route I normally take has another climb in it, but we could skip that today and go straight home.’
‘Okay,’ he said, but he felt like a wimp and then, stupidly, blurted that out.
‘What do you mean?’ she asked.
He stammered, searching for the right words, but in the end settled for an even sillier comment.
‘It’s just embarrassing.’
‘What is? That you can’t keep up with me?’
He nodded.
‘Why? What did you expect? I run at least three times a week, for you it’s the first time.’
‘Yeah, I know.’
‘So why do you feel embarrassed? Because you think of yourself as some young God who can do anything right away?’
‘No, of course not. It’s just that, well, you’re a woman, I guess.’
‘What?!’ she exclaimed. She looked at him incredulously and in her eyes that fire lit up again. He felt he was suddenly on thin ice, losing control over the conversation. He tried to repair the damage and explained what he meant.
‘Men are better in sports than women, you can’t deny that.’
That too didn’t go down well though. The fire in her eyes was blazing as she said: ‘Yes, that goes for athletes maybe, but you’re hardly an athlete, are you?’
He desperately wanted to make peace now and acknowledged that, no, he wasn’t an athlete, because he was really out of shape. If he developed more stamina he would probably be able to keep up with her better.
‘So it’s about building up stamina now?’
‘I guess.’
They fell silent. She looked at him and nodded. Then she said: ‘You’re intimidated by me and perhaps by women in general. This is the second time you have said something that is really out of line and hints at a misogynistic attitude.’
He didn’t know what that meant, but knew it wasn’t anything good. He just wished that he hadn’t opened his big mouth. Meanwhile Louise seemed to be making up her mind. Then she surprised him by asking him: ‘When did you last practice judo?’
‘Erm… two years ago, I think. Why?’
‘Which belt do you have?’
‘Purple.’
‘So you’re pretty good, I would say.’
He wondered where she was going with this.
‘Being a man,’ she said, ‘you shouldn’t have a problem beating a woman in a match, right? An older woman like me. Should be a piece of cake for you.’
Now it was his turn to look surprised.
‘Are you serious?’
‘Yes, I am. I’m daring you, because I think you’re having some strange ideas about women and I want to set you straight.’
‘Okay’, he said in an attempt to win some time, so that he could wrap his head around this weird turn of events.
‘What if I win?’ he asked.
She smiled for the first time since this conversation spun out of control.
‘I would double this month’s salary,’ she said.
‘Are you serious?’
‘Is that enough motivation to take on this poor, old woman?’
She was teasing him now, the animosity that he had felt a moment ago was gone. A sense of relief washed over him. He wondered then if she would really double his salary if he beat her in a judo match. That was a lot of money for a couple of minutes work, so to speak. All he needed to do was throw her over his hip and hold her down. He could still do that, even though he hadn’t practiced in a while. Technique wasn’t something one forgets. But wait a minute, what if, by any chance, she would win? He asked her, but she shook her head and said: ‘Nothing. I just hope I can teach you a valuable lesson.’
He nodded and thought this was almost too good to be true. What should he do with the extra money? Save it for concerts? Buy lots of hash? A plane ticket to London, a train ticket to Paris? He got up, feeling suddenly very motivated, and she did too.
‘Just one match?’ he asked.
‘Best of three,’ she said.
‘Let’s make it best of five then,’ he said, expecting he would beat her 3-0.
Their match began. With the morning sun shining down on them, they started to circle around each other, both careful not to do anything rash. He was not the only one here with experience in competition, he reminded himself. He thought of what he knew about jiu jitsu and remembered a classmate who was into that. He had never been too impressed with the tricks that boy had shown him. Anyway, he’d better focus on himself and figure out a way to attack her and bring her down to the grass. He looked at her as if he were a tiger and she the prey, watching her every move. She was heavier than he was, but that shouldn’t be a problem. He was a guy and whatever she tried to teach him here, that still accounted for something. He thought about later, when he was back in his apartment. He should count his money and add this bonus which he was sure he was going to earn. He had never had this much money, so he felt quite rich and… whoa… what the hell?! Suddenly he was in the air, horizontally at first and then almost upside down. He felt her arm around his neck and then, when he landed on his back, her legs were around his waist. He tried to pry her arm loose but discovered that he couldn’t. He tried again, but now she got a firm grip on his arm and twisted it. He yelled and moved his whole body, trying to roll sideways so that he could throw her off, but somehow he seemed to be making things worse. Her iron grip choked him only more. Within seconds he realized that this round was lost. How stupid had he been, aeady counting money in his mind, where he should have stayed focused. He tapped out and they got up. 1-0 to Louise.
Second round then. Again they started to circle around each other, but now Louise was teasing him.
‘Was that all you had?’ she asked.
‘I wasn’t focused,’ he said.
‘And now you are?’
‘Yes.’
‘Okay, let’s go then.’
This time he didn’t think of anything else than the challenge here on this meadow. Fully awake now he focused on her catlike body and when she moved to her left, he came forward and attacked her. He grabbed her arm and put his left leg behind her. It was a good move and normally his opponent would have been in trouble, but somehow Louise turned away from him, so quickly and smoothly, that he lost his balance and then it was over again before he knew it. She got behind him and grabbed his arm as if she were a police officer who was arresting him. She tackled him and as he landed on his belly in the grass she sat on top of him, still pushing his arm up his back. Again he yelled and tapped out before she hurt him even more.
‘You were right,’ she whispered in his ear. ‘You are a wimp.’
She was teasing him, but he felt himself blush and as he spat out some grass that had ended up in his mouth, he got up, feeling humiliated and angry now. He made another mistake then. When Louise wasn’t paying attention, as she too was getting up, he grabbed her around the waist and tried to throw her down in the grass. It was an unfair and ugly thing to do. In a tournament it would have meant instant disqualification, but on top of that, it didn’t even work. As surprised as she must have been, she adapted quickly and went along with his move, letting herself fall, but also bringing him down with her. Then they rolled around like children. Grappling and trying to dominate one another. Soon enough it was clear though that, once again, he didn’t stand a chance. Before he knew it he was on his back, with her sitting on top of him and his arms locked firmly under her knees. Her dark eyes were on fire again, furious with him for ambushing her. With the thumb and index finger of her right hand she pinched his cheek, as if he were a little boy, and scolded him.
‘Don’t you ever try something like that again, do you hear me?’
Really afraid of her now, he nodded and apologized. They stared at each other for some time, the dominant one with fire in her eyes, the beaten one apprehensive and even fearful. Then the moment passed and Louise relaxed.
‘Did you learn your lesson? Will you stop making rude remarks about women?’
He nodded, not just because that’s what she wanted him to do, but also because he finally did get it. He hadn’t stood a chance in hell with her, something that he should have known before getting himself in this mess. Hadn’t she beaten him on the tennis court too? And just like then, there was something very confusing about this experience. A daunting sensation that she could dominate him whenever she wanted to. Something that turned him on just as much as it frightened him. Even though he was completely immobilized now, with her straddling him, it was a delightful feeling to be in her power. He realized that he didn’t want to stop now and regretted that he had just accepted his defeat. He began to wriggle again and tried to break free. She just looked down on him with a smile on her face. Completely in control, which drove him even crazier. He tried a little harder, but she shook her head and said: ‘No no, I’m not ready to let you go.’
He kept trying though, grunting and wriggling, but he couldn’t get out of her grip. In the meantime Louise just laughed and teased him.
‘What do you want, Alex? You want more?’
A hot flash of embarrassment went through him. He broke eye contact and looked away to the side, to the tree line in the distance. He didn’t stop wriggling though, not even when he heard her say: ‘Oh, I see. You like it.”
He tried to deny it, shaking his head, but she said: ‘Yes, you do.’
She relaxed her grip then and said: ‘Let’s go then. Let’s wrestle some more.’
She rolled off him and for a few seconds they just lay there, looking at each other. Alex was breathing hard, but was hardly aware of it. His thoughts were a mess. It was as if a dense fog had entered his brain. What was going on here? Did he really want this? But then she spurred him on, saying: ‘Come on. What are you waiting for?’
Activated by her voice he got up and jumped on top of her. She let him this time. He grabbed her wrists and kept her arms pinned down on the grass. Thinking that he had her now he expected her to do what he just did: wriggle and try to get out from underneath him. Instead she said: ‘Oh, I think you’ve got me now. What are you going to do, strong man?’
But she was playing with him, he suspected, and sure enough, before he knew what was happening she wrapped her legs around his waist again, made a move to the left and when he tried to counter that, threw him off to the other side. She didn’t let go of him, but instead started applying pressure with her thighs, while at the same time twisting his right arm at such an angle that it seemed quite possible for her to break it. With his other hand he tapped out before she could really hurt him. She let go of his arm and relaxed her thighs, but kept them wrapped around his waist. They stayed like that for a while. He panted like a dog, she was just smiling now. Slowly the fog lifted from his brain, but the confusion stayed. What had just happened? How much of it did she understand? Did she notice his excitement? Hadn’t she even made a remark about it? ‘
‘I see,’ she had said. ‘You like it.’
Oh, the shame he was feeling now!
Sensing that he had enough for today she suggested they go back home. They got up and once again he realized that he had an erection. Thank God he was wearing loose pants, but he couldn’t be entirely sure that she hadn’t noticed his hard-on as well. Quickly he turned away from her, aeady heading in the direction of home. Half an hour later he was in the shower, hoping to God that he could clear his head and leave the shame behind.
***
The day had only just started though. Things were bound to get much more intense later on, but Alex had no idea about that when he decided to go to Nice in search of some hash. After the humiliation of that morning he felt like he really needed a smoke, but the night before he had used up the last bit of what he had brought from England. Work at the house could wait, he decided, because this was an emergency.
Rob was gone for the day and Louise had said that she was going to Cannes for a meeting later on. On his way out he ran into her and she asked him where he was going. He made up a story about wanting to go sightseeing in Nice. He even mentioned visiting the Matisse museum. She hardly paid attention though and just asked him to pick up her new shoes. She had aeady paid for them with her credit card, she said. The red shoes, she meant. The ones they didn’t have in her size last week. The shoes which somehow seemed to have woken up a perverted lust for her.
In Nice he parked the van in a residential area and from there he walked to the city center. On a quiet square in the old town he found a North African guy who sold him a good piece for a decent price. Happy with this and feeling quite pleased with himself again, knowing that even though he got thrown around by a woman earlier in the day, he could at least find some hash almost anywhere. He rolled a joint right away and smoked it on the boulevard, sitting on a bench looking out over the Mediterranean. He sat there for a long time, until the strongest waves had passed and he was ready to drive back to Grasse. Just before he got to the van though he remembered that he needed to pick up Louise’s shoes. He sighed and briefly thought about not bothering, but then remembered how angry she had been with him the night before, so he turned around and walked all the way back to the city center. Fortunately he found the shop right away. The sales girl had the shoes ready for him in a plastic bag behind the counter, so he was back on the street again in no time.
Back home he rolled another one and smoked it on the terrace of his apartment. Feeling high and thinking about silly things, he didn’t pay any attention to his surroundings, so he only heard the clicking of high heels when Louise was just a few meters away. In a weird kind of panic he threw the remainder of the joint underneath the table, even though she knew he was a smoker and she would probably notice that he was high anyway. When he looked up she was standing in front of him. Apparently she had just got back from her meeting. She was wearing a brown camel coat which she untied as she asked him about his day. Underneath the coat she wore a cream colored dress and black high heels. Her legs were bare, he saw, which slightly disappointed him somehow. She did look fantastic though, with her gorgeous dark hair hanging loose on her shoulders and the magnificent bosom proud above him. Suddenly the achievement of having found a dealer in Nice and his cool afternoon there seemed almost futile. Looking up at Louise in her high heels he only remembered this morning and how this beautiful, classy lady had played with him as if he were a doll. He felt his willpower, his strength, seep out of him all over again.
She sat down in the other chair across the table and asked him how he had liked the Matisse museum. God, he had forgotten all about that little lie. He stammered and said he hadn’t gone there after all.
‘But you did get my shoes, I hope?’
He nodded, painfully aware of how high he was.
‘I smell hash,’ she said. ‘Have you smoked?’
He coughed and stammered.
‘But it smells like something is still burning,’ she said.
He hesitated and gestured at the table.
‘I don’t know why, but you surprised me, so I threw it under the table.’
‘You don’t have an ashtray?’
‘It’s inside.’
She looked at him with that bossy look again that he was getting more and more familiar with.
‘I don’t mind that you smoke,’ she said, ‘but you’re not throwing your waste on the terrace like that, understood?’
‘Sorry,’ he said.
‘Sorry? What good does that do? How about picking it up and throwing it in the bin?’
‘Erm… yes of course. Sorry.’
What an idiot he was sometimes! Quickly he dropped to his knees and reached for the joint that was somewhere down there. The damned thing had rolled away though, so he had to go almost under the table himself to pick it up. Just as he had done that he looked up and saw Louise’s legs from up close. The shock made him drop the joint and now it rolled in the crack between two tiles. Goddamned, he was way too high for this shit! He reached for the joint again while at the same time trying to take in as much of her legs as he possibly could. That’s when he realized that her legs weren’t bare. She did wear nylons, it was just that they were the color of her skin and seemed to be extremely sheer as well. Quickly his eyes traveled down over her shins to her ankles and pumps. His heart was beating fast now, sending waves of lust through his veins. He couldn’t stay down here forever though, so he picked up the joint and stumbled out from under the table.
‘Everything okay?’ Louise asked.
He felt himself blush and tried to explain about how the joint had rolled away, but then realized that he was making things worse and stopped talking. Louise observed him as if he came from another planet. To change the topic he asked her if she wanted to have her new shoes. They went inside, where she sat down on the couch and crossed her legs with her nylons making that swishing sound again. It made him feel weak in his knees and stomach and he wondered why. Louise in the meantime was opening the shoe box. She was happy with her purchase, holding one of the pumps in her hand and looking at it from every angle.
‘They were expensive,’ he said.
‘I know. Nice shoes usually are.’
She uncrossed her legs and took off her black pumps. Standing passively at her side he tried not to stare, but seeing her painted toenails underneath the sheer nylon made him want to moan. Her pantyhose was a bit thicker there, he noticed. She wriggled her toes a bit and that too seemed to almost hypnotize him. Louise shot him a look, but then slipped the red pumps on her feet and got up. She walked to the kitchenette and back, turning and looking down at her shoes.
‘I love them,’ she said. ‘What do you think? You still think I shouldn’t wear heels?’
He protested, but his voice sounded hoarse and she said she was just teasing him. Again she walked to the kitchenette, looking at her reflection in the sliding doors to the pool while he stared at her muscular calves for the second time today. Now, in heels and nylons they looked even more attractive than this morning. On her way back to the sofa she stopped and looked at her legs again. She bent over, having noticed something apparently, and stroked her knee. With her thumbs and index fingers she then pulled up the nylon of her pantyhose very gently. The gesture made Alex almost moan out loud again, even though he had no idea why.
Happy with her shoes she told him that she had to go now. Rob was coming home and she wanted to cook for him. Perhaps, she said, they would see each other later, and if not, then tomorrow.
After she had left, Alex felt both high and completely messed up by the desire for her. He desperately tried to regain some control over himself. He texted some friends and chatted to them about nothing special. About life in their village, music, concerts and whatever made him not think about Louise. When it was time for dinner he cooked himself a simple meal and ate it while reading an article about Indians in the Amazon forest. There you go, he thought, that’s what he needed. Back to nature and some distance from all that was happening here. After finishing the article he put on some music. His hero Dylan singing about a girl from the north country and then about a man who got convicted for a murder he didn’t commit.
All in all he managed to stay busy and not think about Louise too much. At around nine o’clock though he was becoming hungry again. Still feeling a bit high he was in the mood for something sweet, like chocolate, but he discovered that the bar he bought yesterday wasn’t in his fridge. He got it together with groceries for the villa, so he must have accidentally put it in the fridge there. Intent on having chocolate now, he put on his shoes and walked over to the big house. The chocolate was nowhere to be found though. Rob must have eaten it, he suspected. What an awful man he was!
Alex was about to go back to his apartment when he heard Louise’s phone ring. He recognized the ringtone. He looked at the screen and saw that it was Monique, the woman he had met the other day. Not really knowing why he did what he would normally never do, he picked up the phone and answered it. Monique seemed surprised at first, but then relieved that at least someone had picked up. He said that he didn’t know where Louise was, but that she couldn’t be far. Monique asked her to please go find her, because it concerned the possible sale of a painting that she would definitely want to know about. With the phone at his ear Alex first checked the therapy room, but the door was open and she wasn’t there. Chatting to Monique about the weather he then went into the hallway that led to the master bedroom, not really expecting anyone there either, as it was still early of course. The door to the bedroom was closed though and it sounded like he heard voices. He was just about to knock when he realized what it was that he was hearing: Louise and Rob were having sex. It was such a shock to his system that he forgot about Monique right away. The sound of the bed creaking, Louise moaning with pleasure, it was just too much. He leaned against the wall, then slid down to the floor, not even aware of pressing the button that disconnected the call. He heard Rob too then, but immediately tried to filter him out. Focus on Louise, he thought. It didn’t even cross his mind to be decent and walk away. The day’s events had been too intense for that. The lust he felt for her had spun out of control and what he was hearing now sealed his fate. The creaking of the bed became louder, Louise’s pleasure apparently getting bigger. Her soft moans entered his head and then his entire system and when it sounded like she was coming he came with her. Without even touching himself, he shot his load in his pants. It was then that the phone rang again. He reached for it quickly, fumbled with it and pressed the red button before it could ring a fourth time. Quickly he got to his feet, while he heard Rob ask Louise if that was her phone that he had just heard. He sneaked back to the living room and put the phone on the table where he had found it. Then he hurried to his apartment, overwhelmed by shame and with a wet and sticky feeling in his groin. This whole situation had just turned into an embarrassment of nightmarish proportions!
*****
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eady getting out of the water. Carlos followed her. When the water was shallow enough for them to walk, she stopped and faced him. Her large breasts were above the surface now. She felt his eyes go over them quickly. 