(02 Feb 2026, 17:12 )Garbageman15 Wrote: Well apparently I can't even heed my own warnings.

I have been well aware of the ide that you must want hypno to work and believe it will work in order to get something out of it. Even if that belief is just pretend at first.
Despite that, as I said in my last post, I have struggled to trance to anything despite years of mostly casual consumption of the content before Captured , well, caught me. When I listened to that I was forcing myself to believe it would work. I guess it flipped a switch in me because I have not struggled to trance at all since then and have binged hypnosis content all weekend.
Really put me into a loop. Over the last week I have listened to at least half of the files in this forum at least once (although often just as background noise) and have had multiple hours long sessions spent mostly in trance with various playlists. I have listened to Captured, Control, Obey, and you need more training at least 5 times each. I've listened to the short public versions of Compliance 101-404.

This has done a number on me, that's for sure. 
I got drunk and high this weekend and spent around 20 hours listening to SB continuously, probably half of it actively listening while trying to trance. I have been continuously horny basically the entire last week, and have masturbated multiple times a day, every day, listening to SB pretty much every time, although sometimes only in the background.
I have already emailed Samantha, something I've never done before with any nsfw creator, and have found myself finding videos to comment on. I subscribed to her subscribestar early on at the $5 tier as the starter post recommended, but while listening to one of her files drunk felt compelled to pledge her 5 more bucks, before eventually upgrading to the $50 tier ( I still have a month to go before I even get anything out of that). I even ordered some visa giftcards to order the agreement and trigger happy directly from her site, but couldn't will myself to enter my personal info on the billing page and it wouldn't let me get by with fake info (I would ask for advice here, but it's probably in my best interest no one tell me).

The Red light trigger persists, I now realize I got it from Control, but I have not noticed any other direct triggers form beside just constantly thinking about her. Maybe that means none of them worked, maybe it means they all did, idk.  The amnesia trigger seems like it mostly doesn't work on me (i think, lol) and I've remembered most of what I've heard.

I even caved and listened to BS in the middle of it, having constantly found the idea arousing since I first discovered it. I listened to the first day of the 20 day training program in the middle of the week before quitting because I did have a panic attack while listening to named and drained when it came time to put the cotton candy in the box. I was horny leading up to that and was definitely in trance but as soon as the box was mentioned my heart rate sky rocketed. My chest was beating so hard it was shaking my entire body. It mostly pulled me out of trance, but I forced myself to finish listening (probably somewhat foolishly) having read people state elsewhere that the panic in trance might just be from not liking the feeling of losing control during trance. I wasn't wearing a "uniform" so idk if that has anything to do with it.


My consumption of this material has gone from casual and watching mostly the glorified music videos on hypnotube to spending most of my free time listening to it within a week.
This morning, while waking up and still half dazed i could hear both Samantha and Bambi's voices in my head talking. I distinctly remember hearing the primary voice from the bs files saying "Soon, Bambi." as well as "Bambi and Samantha are working together now Bambi". Once I woke up completely I was so horny i had to get off immediately and instinctively went to  a Tiktok bambi vid on hypnotube.

I am 90% sure this was me still in a dream state and was brought on by me reading Ra's posts in the sissyhyno thread about the Feminine takeover file which lead to me reading the "horror" stories about people's experience with that file.
Regardless, I have no desire to lose my life to some entity that I didn't even believe could exist 2 weeks ago, so I will have to take a significant break from this shit, and if I ever get back into it, be significantly more selective about what I watch/listen to.

Despite all this I am still craving listening to more and have been hard the entire time writing this post just thinking about listening to some more.

(02 Feb 2026, 19:04 )Garbageman15 Wrote: I went back after reading your response and tranced deep to Cocotrance's css video. It felt like someone pulled my mouth open and pulled carla out of it.

(02 Feb 2026, 22:27 )Garbageman15 Wrote: I spiraled after listening to the Cocotranse Vid.

(02 Feb 2026, 22:27 )Garbageman15 Wrote: i felt like someone else was doing the walking.

(02 Feb 2026, 22:27 )Garbageman15 Wrote: I don't know how much of this is my own choice,

(02 Feb 2026, 22:27 )Garbageman15 Wrote: Back again already.
I spiraled after listening to the Cocotranse Vid.
I decided to put on BCCP loop, hoping there would be nothing too bad in there and i would get on fine.
i just had it on in the background at first , but at some point in the middle i started to trance out. i continued to listen for some time before I heard the BS voice start repeating "Bambi Sleep" in my head again. before i knew it i was listening to the quick induction on b4mb1cloud, then half way through that i felt compelled to pull up Tom Tame's "Bambi in the box". I watched the entire thing start to finish before watching more b4mb1 tiktoks to get off.

The moment I "decided" to switch to the Tom Tame's vid i got up out of my chair to lock my door (don't live alone) and i felt like someone else was doing the walking. I was even swaying my hips. I was aware the entire time, but i felt like someone was pulling me along. I don't know if I've actually actively listened to more of the bs files than I realize and have actually completely fallen for the amnesia component, but it doesn't feel like it. I do all my nsfw browsing incognito, so i don't have a way to go back and check.
Either I am the most suggestible fool on the planet and its a miracle i haven't fallen for something else already, or deep down I want to be ruined. I don't know which and I'm not sure I want to find out. 

I've been passively consuming this stuff (even the BS files technically, but only as they have been included in other videos and have never really given them any focus) forever, so maybe it's just been slowly building up, waiting for the dam to break.

I don't know how much of this is my own choice, as like i said, i have found the concept of this happening arousing for basically a decade at this point, but I find it unsettling at the same time. It took me probably 20 minutes to get my head back on straight after Tom Tame's video.

I feel like a walking cautionary tale.

(25 Jan 2026, 00:43 )Like Ra Wrote: Samantha Sez You Need More Training
. . .

(03 Feb 2026, 02:10 )Alice Wrote: I spiraled after listening to the Cocotranse Vid.

(02 Feb 2026, 19:04 )Garbageman15 Wrote: It's definitely Carla.

(03 Feb 2026, 17:57 )Angela_Angora Wrote: jumping into the higher quality one first would be my preference.

(03 Feb 2026, 17:57 )Angela_Angora Wrote: how is Wipe Clean v1 file different from v2?

(03 Feb 2026, 17:57 )Angela_Angora Wrote: I don't want surprises ruined

(03 Feb 2026, 19:50 )Garbageman15 Wrote: I started with the SB file, made it like 30 seconds in again and wasn't feeling it, then switched to some other version I got from somewhere in the SB thread but dropped that after a few seconds because of the voice. I pulled up the coco vid next and felt laser focused on it in the first few seconds. I never even glanced away from the screen until my eyes eventually closed. 

(03 Feb 2026, 19:50 )Garbageman15 Wrote: Do you remember what all themes and suggestions you removed from the "clean" version?

(03 Feb 2026, 19:50 )Garbageman15 Wrote: woke up like 2 hours early and spent the entire time half asleep in bed imagining both Samantha and Bambi stuff.

(03 Feb 2026, 19:50 )Garbageman15 Wrote: I haven't had a clear head for most of the day.

(03 Feb 2026, 19:50 )Garbageman15 Wrote: groundwork for what feels inside like a glorified suicide.

(03 Feb 2026, 19:50 )Garbageman15 Wrote: fighting sinking feelings

(03 Feb 2026, 19:50 )Garbageman15 Wrote: I have done my best not to think about anything related to this all day but not with much success.