(01 Dec 2025, 17:02 )Like Ra Wrote: You are talking about others looking from the outside.
And I'm talking about yourself looking from the inside 😉
See the difference?
We had a long and hot discussion on that in this thread earlier. My point (and the point of my wife) is - we are essentially genderless inside. When you close your eyes, there is nothing manly or womanly in those feelings. Rather humanly 😉

(01 Dec 2025, 22:35 )ennui ♡ Wrote: it's good to be liked

(01 Dec 2025, 22:31 )ennui ♡ Wrote:

(01 Dec 2025, 10:12 )jocelyn_oui Wrote: Sorry for the delay, I didn't see a reply notification and was too embarassed to check back in the thread.  I appreciate and feel a lot of what you wrote - especially the inhuman piece - maybe for me I would describe it more as not genuine - because to most everyone in the world we're not.  For me that mostly takes care of the 'friends' component.  Not feeling genuine I have an innate fear people will pick up on it, so I don't let them get close.  Also to your point with the unsurety of the whole thing - should we / shouldn't we:  I think we're always and will always be second-guessing.  All I know is my whole life my alternate has been pushing to get out.  Depending on substances and magnitude consumed, trying to push past the point of no return.  I suspect these hypnos will help me cross the threshold.

omg no worries about the delay 😊 i made you wait a week
i hope your journey goes smoothly!  it's the hardest thing i've ever done (and i've had some horrible other experiences) but it has made me learn a lot about life and about myself
i would caution against tying transition to fetishism if you can avoid it at all!  it has the potential to render the kink unenjoyable and inextricably linked to feelings of frustration and struggle (as it did for me)
Thank you!  No major breakthroughs, holidays came and went.  Got a feeling the files may press the issue.  Living on the edge also playing whilst between jobs and likely interviewing.  Did you say something about 'boundaries' with your advice at the end?  Yeah - I don't do well with those.  😉
Especially since I use the one to push the other - following your advice, although wise, is unlikely I fear.  Life to date's been false stability / true chaos.  Thankfully beyond family I have limited IRL friends, those few I do have are in the know, so if pre is chaos, and post is likely frustration and struggle - but maybe less chaos? 
This, though:  Is the nugget I seek:  " but it has made me learn a lot about life and about myself".  

"To thine own self be true" - Each day I turn a page, continuing to look for it.