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Full Version: Why do we have fetishes? Kinks? Traits?
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Like Ra Wrote:
princesitanatty Wrote:I think we still lack knowledge of many innate and acquired mechanisms of desire. But there are some theories and studies aeady.
Have you seen any? Any links?
I think the poll should allow to select both options. I think we have both innate and acquired desires.
You can find theories of innate desires in books and journals of evolutionary psychology and ethology, and of acquired desires in books and journals of learning research.
(24 Dec 2019, 16:48 )princesitanatty Wrote: [ -> ]I think the poll should allow to select both options.
It does allow to select both options 😊 For example, I chose both.

(24 Dec 2019, 16:48 )princesitanatty Wrote: [ -> ]You can find theories of innate desires in books and journals of evolutionary psychology and ethology, and of acquired desires in books and journals of learning research.
You listed pretty much all possible sources 😁 Any more specific links?
A very good example about a corset as an inline fetish.
But I believe that the majority are purchased and it seems to me that the underlying reason is an attempt by the subconscious to protect the psyche or compensation mechanisms to protect the same psyche and depend on the individual.

Unfortunately, it’s quite difficult to establish the truth, because the research is small and it seems to me very prone to the error of the survivor, since not everyone will tell his soul.

If anyone is interested, try to find a translation of the book Sexual Behavior and Violence Sidorov, G.B. Deryagin
Here in Russian a couple of observations about transvestites and some patterns / coincidences

Off topic, but I advise to read: Real Boys Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood by William S. Pollack
(24 Dec 2019, 19:18 )Pidstupne Wrote: [ -> ]Sexual Behavior and Violence Sidorov, G.B. Deryagin
Here in Russian a couple of observations about transvestites and some patterns / coincidences
Published in 2007, based on 1980-1990 data.... TV and CD are fully coupled with homosexuality....

One funny quote: "... most transvestites combined crossdressing with fantasies and self-bondage." 😋
You didn’t read carefully, I will quote:
Quote:Нашими собственными исследованиями установлено:
    1) Достоверное преобладание среди трансвеститов лиц мужского пола, что, в целом, созвучно с наблюдениями других исследователей (так, получение сексуального удовольствия от переодеваний и практику этого элемента в своей сексуальной жизни признали 1,6% студенток и 4,2% - студентов).
    2) Сексуальная потребность в переодевании в одежду противоположного пола, как правило, не имеет связи с гомосексуальным влечением, подавляющее большинство    трансвеститов оказались гетеросексуалами, единицы - бисексуалами. Ни один рафинированный гомосексуал среди наших респондентов и ни одна би- или гомосексуальная студентка трансвеститских потребностей не имели. Таким образом, налицо преобладание фетишистского трансвестизма, когда предметы одежды противоположного пола используются для обострения сексуальных ощущений.

google translate

Quote: Our own research has established:
    1) A significant predominance among transvestites of males, which, in general, is in tune with the observations of other researchers (for example, 1.6% of students and 4.2% of students admitted receiving sexual pleasure from changing clothes and practicing this element in their sex lives) .
    2) Sexual need for changing clothes the opposite sex, as a rule, has no connection with homosexual attraction, the vast majority transvestites turned out to be heterosexuals, units -bisexual. Not a single refined homosexual among our respondents and not a single bi- or homosexual student had transvestite needs. Thus, there is a predominance of fetish transvestism, when items of clothing of the opposite sex are used to exacerbate sexual sensations.
There is a lack of scientific research, and I imagine how hard it will be to collect a statically correct sample on this answer.
Yes, you are right, I think I misread something.

Anyway, the question is not about what fetishes exist, but why they exist.
Found a book by Richard von Krafft-Ebing Psychopathia Sexualis (1886).
And he was surprised by the numerous examples of fetishes, rather entertaining reading.
Excerpts from there:
Quote:Observation 101. One lady told Zhemi that on the first marriage and the next night, her husband was satisfied that he kissed her, caressed her not very plentiful hair, and then went to bed. On the third night, he brought a thick wig with long hair and asked his wife to wear it. As soon as she did this, her husband perfectly fulfilled, albeit belatedly, conjugal duties. The next morning, he began to caress her again, and previously gently stroked the wig. As soon as the wife took off her bored wig, she lost her stimulating effect on her husband. Seeing that there was a quirk, she agreed to the desire of her beloved husband, whose lust and potency depended on the wig. It was only strange that this wig lasted 15-20 days. Hair should be luxurious, color was indifferent.
The result of marriage after 5 years was two children and a collection of 72 wigs.

Quote:Thus, we can join the opinion of Byne that in the life of every fetishist there should be an event that once and for all colored this particular impression with voluptuous sensations. This event should be sought in early adolescence, and usually it falls during the first awakening of sexual activity.

The event itself, which gave rise to the association, is usually forgotten, and only the result of the association is retained in the mind of the fetishist.

I think that most likely von Krafft-Ebing is right in the question of how a fetish arises.
As for the further development of the fetish, it depends on the fetishist himself and the circumstances. To find a balance between your desires, reason and society - for me it is better to wear tights than pour over the collar.
p.s true, pantyhose more expensive pleasure compared to alcohol 😟
Krafft-Ebing was undoubtedly a hero of his time. BTW, he used hypnosis (for therapeutic purposes). As for fetishes he mostly described them and made recommendations how to deal with them. As for the reasons or purposes of fetishes or deviant behaviour, as far as I know, neither him, not Mr. Freud made any real successes. They could've use hypnosis to get a bit more information from their patients, however hypnosis was disqualified as a mean to treat hysteria or hysteric clients. Nowadays regression hypnosis gets very interesting results, but it's still not considered "a scientific method".

(25 Dec 2019, 17:45 )Pidstupne Wrote: [ -> ]pour over the collar
Just in case, this is a Russian expression for "getting drunk" 😊

How/when did you all discover or acquire your fetishes? Please also see his thread: Self-bondage, fetish and children with lots of real stories about how self-bondage pleasures were discovered.
(17 Dec 2019, 00:28 )Like Ra Wrote: [ -> ]Here's the logical chain.

In order for mankind to survive, humans should "do something" (work, improve, evolve, eat)
All we do is compensation (we eat, because we are hungry, we work because we need money, an artist creates, because he would explode otherwise)
The compensation is needed to get ourself back to balance.
If we are in balance, we do not do anything.
To unbalance humans, the desires "were created".
A fetish is an acute form of desires.

See also

In addition to the above.

Pleasure is an encouragement, praise, compliment, approval, reward for something we have done. This is a built-in mechanism to stir us in the right direction. If we keep moving in the correct corridor (no pain, a bit of pleasure), "we should be fine" from both society and health point of view. If we don't get enough of positive stimulation from our life and society, we begin to actively seek them. The easiest ways are food and masturbation. These two "methods" (especially the latter) might not require any help from society (if you know how to get food on your own 😉 ). Sex requires "someone else".

"Simple masturbation" is boring and, beginning from a certain moment, needs an additional "brain stimulus". And do not forget about the refractory period and dopamine dip. So, food is the most obvious and, usually, easy to get stimulant. Hey, why do we have so many overweight humans? 😁 As Sui Mingtang once said:" Why do we eat? Because it's tasty! And we want to try something new".

And then "we want to try something new". Another built-in mechanism to keep us "off balance". We are never satisfied with what we have. We need more. We need other ways to get encouragements, approvals, rewards. Other "dopamine sources" (the source is the same, the stimuli are different). Hence "fetishes". A fetish in "my definition" is a stable, repeatable stimulus to get dopamine. So, food, collecting something, drugs, even excessive sleeping are all fetishes in this sense.
(26 Dec 2019, 03:37 )Like Ra Wrote: [ -> ]Pleasure is an encouragement, praise, compliment, approval, reward for something we have done. This is a built-in mechanism to stir us in the right direction.

This is an article about it: The Mysterious Motivational Functions of Mesolimbic Dopamine on Or here:

Or see the attached PDF.

Quote:Nucleus accumbens dopamine is known to play a role in motivational processes, and dysfunctions of mesolimbic dopamine may contribute to motivational symptoms of depression and other disorders, as well as features of substance abuse. Although it has become traditional to label dopamine neurons as “reward” neurons, this is an overgeneralization, and it is important to distinguish between aspects of motivation that are differentially affected by dopaminergic manipulations. For example, accumbens dopamine does not mediate primary food motivation or appetite, but is involved in appetitive and aversive motivational processes including behavioral activation, exertion of effort, approach behavior, sustained task engagement, Pavlovian processes, and instrumental learning. In this review, we discuss the complex roles of dopamine in behavioral functions related to motivation.
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