Found a transcript 😉
Ronnie Corbett] I bought something from you last week and I’m very disappointed.
[Harry Enfield] Oh, yeah, what’s the problem?
[RC] Yeah, well, my blackberry is not working!
[HE] What’s the matter, it ran out of juice?
[RC] No, no, it’s completely frozen!
[HE] Oh, yeah, I can see that. I’ll tell you what, let’s try it on Orange
[RC] That’s got a few black spots – you see!
[HE] Oh, dear! Yeah, sorry about that.
[RC] Well, is there anything I can do to get my blackberry working?
[HE] Well, could be an application issue. Where do you store the blackberry?
[RC] Well, it’s on my desktop.
[HE] Well, you could try using a mouse to drag the blackberry to the trash. Then after you’ve done that you might want to launch the blackberry from the desktop.
[RC] Well, I’ve a
eady tried that a few times, all it did was mess up windows.
[HE] Well, it might be worth waiting a couple of weeks, they got the latest blackberrys coming in then.
[RC] Well, could you give me a date?
[HE] Certainly.
[RC] Let me put that date in my diary.
[HE] Anything else I can help you with?
[RC] Yes, yes, I’ve also got a problem, to be honest, with my apple.
[HE] Oooh, dear oh dear, that is an old apple, isn’t it? When did you buy it?
[RC] Last week.
[HE] Last week? They’ve brought out two new apples since then. What’s the problem with it?
[RC] Well, I’m trying to put my dongle in it and it won’t fit.
[HE] Oh yeah, and how big’s your dongle?
[RC] Well, I don’t know much about these things but my wife’s seen a few dongles in her time and she says it’s a little bit on the small side.
[HE] Well, I’m afraid there’s not a lot I can do about that. Tell you what, let me try booting it. No, it’s crashed. Anything else I can help you with?
[RC] Well, funnily enough, yes. My grandson’s birthday is soon, you see. Now he’s a
eady got an apple and a blackberry. I mean have you got anything else that he might just like?
[HE] Well, we’re doing a special on these. I mean I can’t make head or tail of them but the kids seem to like them. Eggs box..360 (£3.60)!